Within the Lines

Can disappointment be God-ordained?  I know it smacks of discontentment, but there are times when I find it to be a useful tool.  Being dissatisfied with my housekeeping early on led to some organizing and reorganizing of a system we've used successfully for the last several years.  Being dissatisfied with homeschooling helped (well, drove, really) me to persist in finding what works for us.  Based on these experiences, I have a hard time throwing off dissatisfaction as a "wrong" or "bad" attitude.  I see it as more of a barometer that indicates something's not quite right.

HOWEVER, sometimes I wonder if too much dissatisfaction is just dreamy wishing for a romanticized version of life.  Sometimes dissatisfaction leads me to become discontented with me being the kind of person who's so susceptible to dissatisfaction.  I have so much that I'm truly thankful and amazed by in my life. 

And yet I can't seem to throw off a niggling dissatisfaction, sometimes more like an almost violent yearning, for more.  A passion and purpose beyond peaceful coexistence with those around me.  Sometimes I wish I were the kind of person who liked sky-diving or rock-climbing or some other risky adventure, just to have that push-pass-the-risk passion, that drive that forces you to really live beyond fear.

So much need in the world while I sit here in the cushy, safe midwest U.S., soaking in God's blessings.  Is this really God's plan??