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It's Been Awhile
11:38, 3 February 2009
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When I recently returned to this site and my blog, I saw that I hadn't been on here since this past June. Boy, how time flies. It was at the end of June that I had left AR to come back to IL. My hubby had just recently gotten down to AR, and I had to get up here to tend to some things. He stayed down in AR with the kids until he just couldn't stand for our family to be apart any longer and then brought the kids, 5 cats, and two dogs, up to IL....all packed up like sardines in our Van. Our living situation has been so weird for the last year and a half. While here in IL, one of my older brothers died in August after battling many health issues and being on dialysis for years. I had been at the hospital with his wife the very evening and she was struggling with seeing him the way he was, barely even conscious, and she decided to go home and try and get some sleep. After dropping her off at home, I had just about walked in the door myself when I got the call from her that he had died just 15 minutes after we left. It just seemed so unbelievable, even though he had been sick for a long time. Then at the end of October, I had gotten the news that my brother-in-law, who was living in AZ and had been suffering with leukemia, had passed away. My sister, his wife, had spent years taking care of him and neglecting herself. While he was in the hospital, just before he died, my sister ended up at her doctor's because she had collapsed. She ended up having emergency surgery because there was bleeding on her brain and the doctors had no idea why. During this time, my brother-in-law did pass away, and my sister was still in the hospital in recovery. To make a long story short, she didn't end up recovering, but also passed on. It was almost too shocking to understand or bear. She has 3 grown, but still young, children, who need a lot of prayer and support. After all this happened, by November I had found myself in a pretty bad depression. My heart was crying out to God, but I still felt the darkness crowding in close around me. It was so hard to get up and even do the simplest things. Thank God for His help, and for my husband and children's love and patience with me during this time. I can agree with David: I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the LORD. ~Psalm 40: 1-3 Both my parents and a different older brother had already died some years ago. I'm the youngest of 9 siblings. I know that physical death is part of this life on earth, but for some reason, it still surprises you and leaves it's mark on you. I am so thankful that God has not left us but in love, by faith, and through grace, has redeemed us with the life and death of His own precious Son, our own Lord and Saviour, the sweet Lamb of God. To You, O LORD, I lift up my soul.
O my God, in You I trust, Do not let me be ashamed; Do not let my enemies exult over me. Indeed, none of those who wait for You will be ashamed; Those who deal treacherously without cause will be ashamed. Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day. Remember, O LORD, Your compassion and Your lovingkindnesses, For they have been from of old. Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions; According to Your lovingkindness remember me, For Your goodness’ sake, O LORD. Good and upright is the LORD; Therefore He instructs sinners in the way. He leads the humble in justice, And He teaches the humble His way. All the paths of the LORD are lovingkindness and truth To those who keep His covenant and His testimonies. For Your name’s sake, O LORD, Pardon my iniquity, for it is great. Who is the man who fears the LORD? He will instruct him in the way he should choose. His soul will abide in prosperity, And his descendants will inherit the land. The secret of the LORD is for those who fear Him, And He will make them know His covenant. My eyes are continually toward the LORD, For He will pluck my feet out of the net. Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are enlarged; Bring me out of my distresses. Look upon my affliction and my trouble, And forgive all my sins. Look upon my enemies, for they are many, And they hate me with violent hatred. Guard my soul and deliver me; Do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You. Let integrity and uprightness preserve me, For I wait for You. ~Psalm 25 We are still in IL, not having been able to get back down to AR, but I'm thankful that I was able to be here during these times. I am believing God arranged for me to be back here so I could be with my family. I know that so often I cannot see the path ahead, only God can, I have nothing else to do but to trust Him...in everything. And seeing the ice storms that have passed through that area, I know we would mostly likely not have been able to survive in our little, leaky, shack....especially if we had lost electricity. Thank God for warm houses, and strong roofs, and beds to sleep in. My heart and prayers go up for all those suffering and enduring. Peace and love and God's blessings be with you. Leave a Comment { Last Page } { Page 19 of 80 } { Next Page } |
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