Wanna Be a Steader!

"Just" a Homemaker?

Titus 2:3-5 (NIV) - "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home,* to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the world of God."    * KJV=keepers at home

What happens to us when someone asks what we "do for a living"?  Do we proudly step up and proclaim the pride we feel in fulfilling God's purpose for ourselves and let them know that we are Homemakers...wives, moms, homeschool teachers, keepers of our homes and all that the moniker implies?  Or...do we shrink back, roll our shoulders in and meekly say, "Me?  Oh, Im JUST a homemaker."

"Excuse me?"

"Eh-hmmm.  I'm just a homemaker."

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I'M JUST A HOMEMAKER!  Sorry."

WHY do we often feel like we should apologize for doing what God's will for our life is?!  WHY do we feel that the only way we are to "make a difference" in the world is to cram ourselves into power suits and heels and face the anxiety of not only trying to stay employed but then trying to run our household as well?  Been there, done that, got the  stinkin' t-shirt!

What message are we sending to our daughters?  That they should be ashamed or honored?  Which message are they supposed to adhere to...one that says, "Sorry, Honey, but your sorry lot in life is to ONLY be a housewife and mom; oh, and if you want to, you can homeschool your kids"?  OR one that says, "Oh, Honey!  God has honored women by allowing us to not only have the privilege of creating life, but He has given us the gift of being the keeper of our homes and all that it entails!"

Last week my husband and I went to his office's "Holiday" party (there's a topic for another time!) and during the pleasant evening of chat at our table we eventually got to the subject of our homeschool.  Also, during this chat the opportunity came up to explain to them that I (we) have raised our daughters to be keepers of their homes.  As we have one daughter who has already graduated from our homeschool and is working for a time while she considers if she wants to go to college or not, I explained that if I had boys I might look at their going to college a little differently, but with our girls I'm not "pushing" it, as they will want to eventually be stay-at-home moms and homeschool their own children.  Oh...my...you could have heard a pin drop!  They didn't know quite what to do with that information and offered their own "humble advice" that we may want to "reconsider" ourselves in that area as "you never know what the future holds and they may have to take care of themselves."  Granted, that is true, but we have faith that our decisions come from the Lord.

Now, we know that staying at home is not all roses and rainbows or June Cleaver doing her housework in a perfectly pleated dress, wearing pearls, mucho make-up and fancy hair.  But what we do counts for far more than the "image" that the above mentioned power suits imply.  We ARE the "hand that rocks the cradle" and we DO influence the world!

How in the world did illusion get so far?  Looking back from the distance of time, I can see where some of our problems with liberalism and feminism began to take root in our Baby Boomer generation.  In my own experience, my mom was the baby of 14 from a very rural Kentucky farm family; her experience was to be raised side-by-side with her dear mother and learning all the household skills - cooking, preserving and canning, cleaning and arranging, childcare (LOTS of nieces and nephews!), etc.  Once she was married and had my brother and I, she believed that the best way to help my dad make ends meet was to go out, find a job and bring in a little money on the side.  Well, that "side" turned into full-time and a literal life away from home.

No longer did her smiling face greet us at the door when we got off the bus...but my brother got that awesome guitar.  No longer could we sneak a peek out in the audience of the school play or band concert and see her smiling face in the audience...but she "knew" that we did well anyway.  No longer was there the opportunity to learn side-by-side with MY mom in the kitchen...but I had lots of trendy clothes.  Thinking back to my teen years, I can tell you of many times during my mom's retail career that she would bring home some cute little outfit and she would be a little offened that I wasn't "as grateful" as she thought I should have been.  Sure, I was very grateful for everything I received, but I didn't want the "stuff."  I didn't realize it then and I couldn't put it into words, but what I wanted was my MOM!  Her time, her knowledge, to learn what made her tick.  I wanted a relationship.

Now, don't get me wrong.  My mother and I have a fine relationship and we are each other's biggest fans.  But I know we could have had so much more.  We could have had a mother/daughter intimacy that was just starting to bloom when I was a child but had to wait until my adulthood to come to fruition.  I don't want that to happen with my daughters and don't believe that it's God's will for our families.

Even though the LORD has blessed my mom and I with a good relationship now (Joel 2:25), I did not want to WAIT on a good relationship with my daughters.  The way that I nurture my relationship with my daughters is by being a keeper of my home, being an example; and only part of that process is in homeschooling.  I have the relationship with my daughters that my mom always dreamed of having with me, and all the while they are learning from me about the honor the LORD has bestowed upon women by allowing them to see the right relationship we have; to see the head-ship of their father as a man who longs to serve and follow the LORD.  A man who sees part of that as being the major provider of his household and allowing me to live my God-given role as wife, mother and home-keeper.

This is SO exciting to me!  No, I don't do my housework in pretty pleated dresses, pearls, high heels, sprayed hair and mucho make-up; but I DO get to make my house a home - a real haven of rest for my husband, a secure nest for my family and a welcome lighthouse of hope for our friends.

Now, isn't THAT a calling worth striving for?  Worth preparing for?  Worth feeling honored to live?

Next time someone asks you what you "do for living," hold your head high and tell them proudly, "I've been honored by God to be the keeper of my home and I'm training my daughters to do the same!"

Blessings from Ohio, Kim Wolf<><

***UPDATE:  As some of you may know, I substitute blog on Wednesdays for Gena Suarez (The Old Schoolhouse publisher) on "Home Where They Belong."  This week, I posted the above article on that blog, too.  It caused a VERY INTERESTING conversation to take place between a semi-anonymous blogger (Grier), Tia (blog moderator) and myself.  See for yourself how utterly distorted this person's view of Biblical womanhood and homeschooling are.  http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/TOSPUBLISHER/443243/   This, folks, is a representation of the liberal/pc viewpoint of those who don't approve of and can't understand Biblical womanhood and homeschooling.  Your thoughts are welcome.  ~~KW<><

Great post!

09:18, 2007-Dec-12 .. Posted by Vickie

I am usually proud of my calling as a wife & mother but I have to admit in certain situations I've found myself the one with my head a bit down saying "I'm just a homemaker." Most of the time I get comments like "You are really lucky your husband lets you stay home all day. Mine would never..."
Sure, sometimes I might think that they have so many "things" but would I want to give up what I have with my family for "things" NO WAY!

I hope your family has a very merry Christmas!

what a wonderful messsage!

03:03, 2007-Dec-12 .. Posted by blessedmomof10

kim,
What a wonderful & refreshing post! Oh how I need to read this today as I do sometimes struggle with my independent spirit...... you see I was raised in a home to be very independent - mother did not teach me or train me to be a keeper at home........ but I have chosen that in my life now.....sometimes I struggle with this....... thank you for your words of wisdom and sharing your expierence with us all.

Blessings~
gloria