Wanna Be a Steader!

Answering Machine Message

I have GOT to share this with you!!  My hubby sent out an e-mail to a few people with the REAL answering machine message from a public school.  One of the people he sent it to was our crazy pastor, who sent back his own spin on the message.

The first message is the original from the school -- the second is the "suggested" message that our nutty pastor wrote.    I think it's terribly funny.  I hope you enjoy it, too.

Blessings from Ohio, Kim Wolf<><

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Original version:

SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE

This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School ( California ) staff voted unanimously to record on their school telephone answering machine. This is the actual answering machine message for the school. This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's failing grades changed to passing grades - even though those children were absent 15-30 times during the semester and did not complete enough schoolwork to pass their classes. 
The outgoing message: 
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: 
* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1 
* To make excuses for why your child did not do his
work- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3 
* To swear at staff members - Press 4 
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed

to you - Press 5 
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6 
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit
someone -Press 7 
* To request another teacher, for the third time
this year -Press 8 
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9 
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0 
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class
work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort:
Hang up and have a nice day! 
*If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country.

Church Version

The outgoing message: 
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of NHCC. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: 
* To question the Senior Pastor's theological positions - Press 1 
* To make excuses for why you were not at church this past week - Press 2
* To complain about other parishioners and their bad habits- Press 3 
* To swear off the Worship Arts Pastor - Press 4 
* To ask why YOU didn't read the bulletin - Press 5 
* If you want us to pick up your tithe check - Press 6 
* If you want to put your tithe payment on Mastercard or Visa -Press 7 
* To request a different Sunday School teacher or topic -Press 8 
* To complain about the audio "sound mix" last week - Press 9 
* To complain about anything that remotely relates to this church - Press 0 
* If you realize this is the real world and that you must be accountable and responsible for your own behavior, Hang up and have a nice day! 
*If you want this in Spanish, French or old world Latin, call the Vatican.