Wanna Be a Steader!

"JUST" a Homemaker?

Titus 2:3-5 (NIV) - "Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home,* to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”  *KJV = keepers at home

What happens to us when someone asks what we “do for a living”?  Do we proudly step up and proclaim the pride we feel in fulfilling God’s purpose for us and let them know that we are Homemakers…wives, moms, homeschool teachers, keepers of our homes and all that the moniker implies?  Or…do we shrink back, roll our shoulders in and meekly say, "Me?  Oh, I'm JUST a homemaker." 

“Excuse me?"

"Eh-hmmm.  I'm just a homemaker."

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

"I'M JUST A HOMEMAKER!  Sorry."

WHY do we often feel like we should apologize for doing what God’s will for our life is?!  WHY do we feel that the only way we are to “make a difference” in the world is to cram ourselves into power suits, heels and face the anxiety of not only trying to stay employed but then trying to run our household as well?  Been there, done that, got the stinkin’ t-shirt!

What message are we sending to our daughters?  That they should be ashamed or honored?  Which message are they supposed to adhere to…one that says, “Sorry, Honey, but your lot in life is to ONLY be a housewife and mom; oh, and if you want to, you can homeschool, too”?  OR one that says, “Oh, Honey!  God has honored women by allowing us to not only have the privilege of creating life, but He has given us the gift of being the keeper of our homes and all that it entails!” 

We know that it’s not all roses and rainbows or June Cleaver doing her housework in a perfectly pleated dress, pearls, make-up and hair.  But what we do counts for far more than the “image” that the power suits imply.  WE are the “hand that rocks the cradle” and we DO influence the world!

How in the world did illusion get so far?  Looking back from the distance of time, I can see where some of our problems with liberalism and feminism began to take root in our Baby Boomer generation.  In my own experience, my mom was the baby of 14 from a very rural Kentucky farm family; her experience was to be raised side-by-side with her dear mother and learning all the household skills – cooking, preserving and canning, cleaning and arranging, childcare (LOTS of nieces and nephews!), etc.  Once she was married and had my brother and I, she believed that the best way to help my dad make ends meet was to go out, find a job and bring in a little money on the side.  Well, that “side” turned into full-time and a literal life away from home. 

No longer did her smiling face greet us at the door when we got off the bus; but my brother got that awesome guitar.  No longer could we sneak a peek out in the audience of the school play and see her smiling face; but she “knew” that we did well anyway.  No longer was there the opportunity to learn side-by-side with my mom in the kitchen; but I had lots of trendy clothes.  Thinking back, I can tell you of many times that my mom would bring home some cute little outfit and she would be a little offended that I wasn’t as “grateful” as she thought I should have been.  Sure, I was very grateful for everything I received, but I didn’t want the “stuff.”  I didn’t realize it then and I couldn’t put it into words, but what I wanted was my MOM!  Her time, her knowledge, to learn what made her tick.  I wanted a relationship. 

Now, don’t get me wrong.  My mother and I have a fine relationship and we are each other’s biggest fans.  But I know we could have had so much more.  We could have had a mother/daughter intimacy that was just starting to bloom when I was a child but had to wait until my adulthood to come to fruition. 

I don’t want that to happen with my daughters and don’t believe that it’s God’s will for our families.  Even though the LORD has blessed my mom and I with a good relationship now (Joel 2:25), I did not want to WAIT on a good relationship with my daughters.  The way that I nurture my relationship with my daughters is by being a keeper of my home; and only part of that process is in homeschooling.  I have the relationship with my daughters that my mom always dreamed of having with me, and all the while they are learning from me about the honor the LORD has bestowed upon women by allowing them to see in their father a man who longs to serve and follow the LORD.  A man who sees part of that as being the major provider of his household and allowing me to live my God-given role as wife, mother and home-keeper.

This is SO exciting to me!  No, I don’t do my housework in pretty pleated dresses, pearls, high heels, sprayed hair and mucho make-up; but I do get to make my house a home – a real haven of rest for my husband, a secure nest for my family and a welcome lighthouse of hope for our friends.

Now, isn’t THAT a calling worth striving for?  Worth preparing for?  Worth feeling honored to live? 

Next time someone asks you what you “do for a living,” hold your head high and tell them proudly, “I’ve been honored by God to be a Keeper of my home and I’m training my daughters to do the same!”

Blessings from Ohio, Kim Wolf<><

Amen, Sister!

09:34, 2006-Jun-1 .. Posted by YPAmy5

Kim- once again, today- you are writing for me. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and I hate to admit it but sometimes I felt "less than" because my mom didn't do anything "special". Boy was I dumb. I am so very deeply grateful for the bountiful blessings I received from all those years of having my Mama at home! I am know working and praying to raise up my own daughters to be keepers at home and to know that it is a WORTHY title to have!
Thanks again.
Amy W

Ya know ...

12:59, 2006-Jun-2 .. Posted by Nonni

I'm so tired of tending to your family as not being considered something of importance. If more people considered it such - maybe things wouldn't deteriorate generation by generation as much as it has been... Just yesterday, my Step Mom was telling me what a shame it is I don't go back to school on account I'm so smart (she's SO cute though), so I told her I'd like to go for horticulture. That made her happy. Of course, I want to go for that so I can learn more about intensive gardening to provide for my family - from home, hehe.

I needed this!

03:14, 2006-Jun-3 .. Posted by Anonymous

I stumbled here from another blog I've been reading lately (Home Sweet Simple Home) - I will most definitely be visiting more often! Your post stirred me to blog myself about being a homemaker, and I linked back to your entry - I hope you don't mind, please let me know if you do.

I really needed to "hear" these words today... sometimes our job isn't easy, but it is always the right thing to do. My mom was a SAHM, & I always wanted to be the same for my kids. I have two older sisters, both of whom were SAHM (one still is, the other has an empty nest once her youngest leaves for the army on 6/20). I never realized what an oddity it was to have a SAHM, until I met my husband. When we would compare childhood stories, mine always had a mom at home, his were always about daycare. He finally had the courage, after I became a SAHM (with his complete support) to share with his mom how hard it was with her working - not an attack, but he told her some things that she never realized he felt.

I'm so blessed that he & I see eye to eye on the importance of raising our kids, ourselves.

Thanks for your encouraging words!

Laura
www.thepeanutpatch.blogspot.com

Isn't it strange?

01:35, 2006-Jun-8 .. Posted by mommyof2

I had the wonderful experience of being raised by my grandmother (SAHM) for much of my youth. I learned from her the arts of cooking and canning. It was absolutely wonderful when I lived with her, she was home when I got home, was greatly involved in our schools with us, and just encouraged us daily. I can not remember a time that she wasn't there for me, while I lived with her. This is the woman that inspired me to become a homemaker. I am homeschooling and doing some other things that she didn't, but without her influence Lord only knows where I would be today. I have been saying that if more mothers would actually "raise" their own children, the world would be a better place. I do realize that there are those that have to work, but if it is at all possible to stay home they should. My "sacrifices" are nothing compared to the joy and privilege to be at home with my children!

Christy

Having a homemaker wife is a true blessing!

01:51, 2006-Jun-19 .. Posted by naturehouse

Don't forget how much you staying at home helps your husband. I am blessed to have a wife who is a homemaker. We don't have as much money as we would if she worked outside of the home, but we have much much more! I have the piece of mind that my children are being cared for and taught daily, hourly and minute by minute by their loving mother. I also know that she is taking care of things while I'm away at work. She helps lighten my load so that I can concentrate on being a better father and husband. If we both worked away from home, when we were home neither of us would have adequate time with our kids or each other. Never feel bad about being a homemaker! It is a blessing to your whole family!

Untitled Comment

11:30, 2006-Jun-24 .. Posted by plantinthings

How I happened to stumble upon your blog I don't know, but thank you so much.
Stay At Home MOMS, I agree are very important to our children, they might not agree as youngsters but when they mature and have their own families, they learn to appreciate all they had when younger.
I've had it both ways with my youngest son and yes staying at home can have it's trying days (but so do workers out of the house).....just bear with it, make the most of the situtation and remember things do get better and there is always tomorrow.
My hubby and I both agree that my son needs to me around, but I do help out with a little income around here, I clean 3 houses 2/days/month (but have seriously thought about quitting this in the fall, but 2 of the people are elderly and really look for the company more than anything else....I think) and I taxi my Amish neighbors a few places when they need me too.
Thanks again for making us feel special too.
Tina