growing and learning

principles of emotion

disclaimer:  this is more for me and my needing to remember some of this.  but I thought I would share because it has already shown itself useful in my life.

I went to an emotion class last night. On how to control, read, use your emotions. The teacher (she offered it through the homeschooling group list) told how, with 4 boys 2-10, a former neighbor called and asked if they would adopt her 3 grandchildren, 26 mo, 14 mo, 4 mo. They said yes and suddenly had 4 children in diapers. The 26 mo would tear through a room and have it destroyed in minutes, the 14 mo never stopped screaming or crying and so when the baby was calm, she just took that as a blessing – some months later she realized TOO calm. Anyway, this led her to start researching emotions and what causes emotions. She realized that advice from people didn't always work. She realized that PRINCIPLES are true across all situations.

1. feelings and thoughts are energy

   1. energy = matter that can be measured

   2. you cannot have feelings without a core belief.

2. emotion = energy in motion

   1. an emotion propels us to action

   2. list emotions felt in last 24 hours

   3. “overwhelmed” - not getting things done, that you are not adequate. You are a victim of time.

   4. “fear” - money

3. emotional energy can be positive or negative like a battery

   1. energy can be defined by the amount of work it produces

   2. energy cannot be destroyed – ONLY ALTERED

   3. you can tell a positive or negative feeling – determined by the action you take. Not “if it feels good, it must be right” - used example of 13 yr old interested in opposite sex. But “if it leads you to good actions, it is good.”, like Matthew “By their fruits ye shall know them.”

      • a negative emotion: when the energy of a feeling/thought obscures the truth of self.

   4. some people claim all emotions can be boiled down to two opposite emotions: love and fear.

      • Fear of not being adequate, worthy, loved

      • fear of money matters:

        • not enough to feed, take care of family; spousal conflicts

        • fear of having money: the idea that “poor = humble;” with more money comes more responsibility

4. negative energy builds walls around self and situations

   1. have you ever had a problem with someone and you are just too negative – the negativity feeds itself and makes the problem worse because the other person can sense your feelings and it puts them on the defensive, adding more bricks to the wall. (examples given were the son and his teacher; the woman who wanted to adopt)

5. you cannot stuff feelings into a garbage can continuously without “taking out the garbage” - eventually the garbage will spill out and make a mess

6. don't give advice, use principles

   1. advice doesn't work for everyone across all situations

   2. principles are true always and can be applied all the time.

7. forgiveness releases negative energy and changes it to positive

   1. it starts the removal of the brick wall you have built, allowing positive things to come to you.

8. in order to be clear, we must release the negative energy and change it to positive

9. in order to solve a problem, you must separate the feelings from the problem

   1. See the feelings, identify them

   2. own the feelings – they are there, and they are yours

   3. choose not to keep the negative feelings

   4. release the negative feelings

   5. replace them with positive

10. the only thing we can change is our feelings and thoughts

    1. at this point they had 10 children, one a baby just out of NICU (she was preemie) and a newly-adopted boy from Russia, and dad was called up with the Guard. Mom developed pneumonia and they wanted to hospitalize her the day dad left – for a week or two. The only thing mom could change was how she was going to deal with the deployment, the single motherhood, and the pay cut that comes with deployment. She could not change the fact that husband was gone. She wrote a 3x5 card about what she would do, and read that to herself 70 times a day. 3 weeks later she started watching the blessings pour in because she had lowered her walls of negative feelings – company matching discrepancy in wages, husband able to call home every day, kids becoming closer to each other as a family.

11. many feelings begin in infancy or before

    1. newborns are perfect, we come here with a perfect blueprint

    2. infants are very susceptible to emotions – she said that people can carry with them unconscious emotions about being an unplanned – and unwanted – pregnancy

    3. the baby she adopted: started to crawl at 7 mo, and two weeks later started to walk. He would take 3 steps and fall. And would NOT accept help. And this continued to 12 mo, 18 mo, 2 years: step step step fall. And refuse all help. She took him to the doctor, no problems, specialists, no physical problems. Finally a family friend and chiropractor (again, said no physical problems) suggested that since he had not been wanted as a newborn, he had decided he could only rely on himself in life. So mom and older kids started telling him all the time “we are here to help you.” they just said it all the time and gave extra love when they said it. 2 weeks later he was running completely normal. Al l he needed was constant affirmation that he was not alone in life.

12. we link everything together by emotions

Untitled Comment

09:18 AM, Friday, May 4, 2007 .. Posted by HeMarriedMedusa

This was a good post. I'm not an intellectual and didn't understand all of it. But what I did comprehend
enlightened me. Thanks. Sincerely, Brenda