I have been on a journey now for my entire life, and I did not even know it until about five years ago. It has been a journey to become the woman God created me to be. There have been curves in the road, barricades and detours. So many times, I was not even close to the right path, but I know the Lord was watching me and trying to get my attention. I am thankful for His faithfulness and the prayers of many I may never know.
I am blessed today to be on the closest path to fulfilling my purpose that I have ever been on. I am privileged to stay at home and train my children in the Lord and an uncompromising education. I am nowhere near where I should be or could be had I been counting it such a privilege to be a wife and mother since I came to the Lord in 1988.
It is hard to admit that I still struggle daily with being a cooperative and pleasant wife of a very hard-working husband. It is a journey I am still on. I do not know why God deemed it my lot to have these wonderful children, but there is not a time I am not thankful. That sounds impossible, but I always end my thoughts, even after frustrations, with how sweet my child is and how much I truly love him or her. That is only from God, because it has not always been this way!
I asked myself for the first ten years - and sometimes I asked others, “Why did God give me three girls first?”. I am not sure I can yet fully answer that question, but it has been proven many times how blessed I am to have three daughters first in our large family. These girls are such a blessing, a joy, and my best girlfriends. I am honored to be their mother.
As I said, we did not really have an understanding of woman and her design and purpose until about nine years ago. God spoke into our hearts about having children. He showed me in His Word why He gives us children and what happens when He gives us children. We started trusting Him in that, and it changed our lives. Shortly after this new-found understanding, we went through some very difficult trials that caused us to search and be confident in God’s Word alone. The things we learned in the next two years put us further into God’s plan for our lives.
At this time, and each year before, I had no idea what a wife really was. I mean, I understood that I was Matt’s partner as a married woman, but I did not understand my Biblical role, and even moreso, I did not understand what that Biblical role of a woman meant to my husband and children. I’m not sure I do yet. I do, in my brain and my heart, but my flesh is unwilling to let me remember sometimes still. ugh. Needless to say, we have stuck with each other through thick and thin, but not in a God-honoring way many times. Only by God’s grace can I shake the feminist bonds and become the lovely woman God created me to be.
Five years ago, I got a hold of a different homeschooling philosophy through such resources as Educating the Wholehearted Child and The Charlotte Mason Companion. Then, three years ago, I found a few sites that promoted a Biblical life. Sadly, that was all new to me. I had been a Christian for fifteen years, but did not have a clear understanding of denying my rights for His. I started reading my Bible differently, and God put a hunger in me to be a Godly wife. I no longer read it from my perspective, but from God’s. It wasn’t the world’s or the Church’s point of view I saw. I finally saw how different Scriptures I had heard or read over and over related to each other. It was as though I understood a new language. I understood that God has a specific personality and is steady. I can see, in His Word, what God thinks about things. He told us, and it is in there, if we look and listen. The Old Testament became more real to me and more a part of the New Testament than it had ever been.
I found some family resources and heard what I had already heard preached many times, but now it seeped into my spirit, and I soaked it all up. I was ecstatic. I was thrilled to finally ’see’ what the Bible meant. I wanted to learn it all and do it all, because we had lost so much time in the first fifteen years I had known the Lord. On the other hand, my girls hated it. I was so full of zeal for this new-found understanding of womanhood, I didn’t want to wait for them to catch up. There were some deep-seated worldly ideals that we had allowed in, and it took quite the strength and perseverance from all of us to get them out. Slowly, though, things changed in all of our hearts.
I put the family on a schedule that helped us do things we had never done before. We cleaned and cooked and homeschooled in an order that allowed for time for other things. We started doing things that the world no longer holds in high regard. We were so thrilled to learn them and enjoy each other and have something to show for it. We were blessed to make quilts and include it as a part of their learning. We started sewing. We spent time scrapbooking together. We had home births with our sixth and seventh children and welcomed two new sons into the family together as a family affair. We bought two goats and became interested in homesteading. There were still rebellion issues with the girls, but God walked us through them. He kept us close through the anger and hurt and brought us closer than we had ever been. He had a purpose.
When the girls and I started blogging in April 2006, my intention was for them to do weekly assignments for English or Research, but, before I knew it, a monster had been created… or two… or three. To this day I am amazed at how God used blogging to shape their perspectives and cause them to research and write things that I never could have anticipated or assigned. They wanted to blog, and they came up with topics on their own. I was quality control, editor, and their personal confidante in many topics, from the silly daily things to heart-breaking issues to deep Biblical posts.
God has allowed blogging to be a large part of our training our daughters. Having the three of them so close in age has allowed them to play off of each other in their beliefs, thoughts and silliness. They can be each others’ biggest heroes and biggest thorns! But, oh! I can see the love and integrity and compassion and fervor they each share for each other. And for their friends! Real life created many opportunities for reflection and soul-searching, and allows them to do it inwardly and openly at the same time. They have grown from the inside out.
Some days, we talk about the Bible and how it relates to our lives for hours. We revisit Scriptures as we serve dinner and clean or watch the Littles. Out of the blue, we can start a conversation about God or His plan or any number of things in His Word and see how it relates to our lives. Are we doing what God has for us? Are our attitudes or thoughts honoring God? Are we being too harsh or judgmental? All of these questions are open conversations in our home, and God uses them to shape us and open our eyes to His truths. And we are blessed.
I always wanted a boy first. I wanted a boy for three consecutive pregnancies. I could not see the future. I did not know what a blessing girls are. I did not understand what it is to be a woman, to train young women, to teach them how to become women. I did not foresee all of the times we would cook together and laugh and cry and scrapbook. All of the heartaches and tears. The smiles and fears that we overcome with the Word of God. And now, to have two daughters who are almost adults, to watch all of my girls, at ages 18, 17, 14, 8, and 1, just love on each other; it is such an honor. It warms my heart in a way that I know only God could have foreseen.
I do not deserve the unconditional love that my daughters show me on a daily basis. Or that any of my children show me, for that matter. I am not always the best example of gentleness, love or holiness. I do not always start my day off in the Word as I would like to do. We have by no means arrived, nor am I saying that our particular journey is the only way to become who God has created woman to be. I am still so sinful, and I do not feel worthy of so many blessings as God has given me. It is a good thing that neither my goodness nor my sinfulness is the measure by which God gives me His grace. It is a good thing He measures it out much more than any of us deserves.
Learning that truth in the past few years has allowed me to look at the role of a woman, a wife, and a mother differently. It is not self that I should look to apply the blessings in Scriptures to. It is not my perspective that is important. It is God’s. My perspective is important in shaping what I believe, but looking at the Word through His eyes is what I need to do. It is the only way I can show God to my children. It is the only way I can stop stomping my foot and demanding my way over my husband’s or my children’s. It is the only way I can be an example of a woman of God, Help Meet to my husband and lover of my children. I know it is my lifelong journey, and I want to fulfill this purpose. And, we have by no means arrived, nor am I saying that our particular journey is the only way to become who God has created woman to be.
Last year I opened a blog on homesteadblogger entitled Training Daughters, Teaching Wives. My intention was to blog about things we had learned or were learning on this journey we have made in becoming Godly women. We were going to be reading Created To be his HelpMeet together, and I thought we could post about it on there. Though we do not blog on it regularly, the TDTW blog has become a little blog compilation of some of our posts,
Instead of worrying about keeping up the blog, I created the Training Daughters, Teaching Wives blogroll. The TDTW blogroll is for moms training their daughters in the Biblical admonishment of training our daughters in the Word and for women teaching wives in the Titus 2 admonishment for the older to teach the younger. Of course, as we train our daughters, we will begin to teach them about being a Godly wife.
We have many wonderful blogs of on the blogroll already. If you are interested in joining the TDTW blogroll please contact me. Adding the blogroll to your blog will not automatically add you to the blogroll itself! I will contact you with the code after taking a look at your blog. :))
I am going to be blogging about the TDTW blogroll, and I will be linking posts about daughters or mothering daughters or being a daughters. If you would like to have a specific post on it - a favorite - or one you want to post new, please email me the link.
Here is the post: A Lifetime Journey ~ Training Daughters, Teaching Wives
Info about the blogroll:
"The TDTW blogroll is for moms training their children in the Biblical admonishment of training our children in the Word and for women teaching wives in the Titus 2 admonishment for the older to teach the younger. When I started blogging, I thought being a part of a blogroll was just a great way to get my blog url on a bunch of other blogs. After blogging for the past two years and seeing the influences of blogs and bloggers on adults and children alike, I have come to realize the responsibility I have in linking to sites. The TDTW blogroll is not just for Mommas; it is also for daughters. I do not at all expect to administrate anyone's blog content at all, but I can choose to which blogs and sites I am linked to and endorse.
I will only place blogs on the blogroll that are safe for all eyes to read, including daughters. I do realize that there are posts sometimes that Mommas blog that may not be for young ladies, and that is understandable and acceptable. If you could put a warning on that post, I would greatly appreciate it!
I reserve the right to deem what is appropriate according to my convictions and interpretation of the Word. I am, however, open to your understanding, and you are welcome to email me if you have anything you would like to tell me. :)
Also, the blogroll is a reciprocal link. If you are linked on it, you *must* link the blogroll in your sidebar. Feel free to link it on a links page, but it must also be in your sidebar. You will be added after the blogroll is found in your sidebar.
Anyone interested in joining the blogroll will need to contact me if they would like to be added to the blogroll. Adding the blogroll to their blog will not automatically add them to the blogroll itself! They will need to contact me, and then I will add a blog and contact the owner with the code after taking a look at the blog. :)) "
Please be sure to invite whom you think may be interested in joining.
I had to blog this. It really touched me so deeply. I wish I had been taught to lovingly discipline my children. I'm sure my Mom does too. This is an eye-opener. I am going to make a check list and make sure I am not saying these things to my precious children!
"But the worst thing about shame if you’re a Christian is that you tend to think that God has the same feelings about you that you have about yourself. This creates a huge problem. How in the world are you supposed to have a deep, intimate relationship with a God you think has written you off as worthless and unloveable?
As John Bradshaw says, "When I feel guilt, I feel that I have made a mistake, and when I feel shame, I feel that I am a mistake." How can you believe God loves you if you feel like you're a mistake?
Shame takes six common forms and does not have to be blatant like the Red Lobster incident. In fact, it can be more damaging when it's subtle because then it's not obvious what is happening, so our defenses are down.
The six common forms of shame are:
1. The put-down: "You naughty boy!", "You're acting like a spoiled child!", "You selfish brat!", "You cry-baby!" "You're mean!" "Rug rat"
2. Moralizing: "Good little boys don't act that way" "You've been a bad little girl" “God isn’t pleased when you act that way” “Angels are crying right now because of what you’ve done”
3. Age-based expectations: "Grow up!" "Stop acting like a baby!" "Big boys don't cry ” "You're 10 years old--you should be able to do this by now""
4. Gender-based expectations: "Toughen-up and take it like a man!" "Don't be a sissy!" “Stop being so emotional!” “Don’t be such a silly girl”
5. Competency-based expectations: "You're hopeless!" “You’ll never be good at anything” "You should be able to do this math by yourself " "You should know better than that" "Any idiot could have figured that out"
6. Comparisons: "Why can't you be more like so-and-so?" "None of the other children are acting like you are" "You're not as _____as your sister (brother) "
Shame not only makes us feel like we intrinsically have no value, but it also gives us a distorted perception of what love really is. Why? Because the people who shame us the most tend to be the people who tell us they love us. So we get mixed messages about love. On the one hand we are told we are loved, but on the other we are made to feel like we are not worthy of love."
God works in ways we cannot see, and if we will listen, He will show us what to do if our hearts are truly open to receiving it. I put on my Winter Reading Challenge: My Books 2008 that I am reading Preparing Sons by Steven Maxwell. I am also going to be sure to read Hints on Child Training by H. Clay Trumbull. I have read parts of it, but, in where the Lord is leading me in my study to train our sons... especially our oldest, Eric at 10, I am also going to teach our daughters about the differences when disciplining boys and girls as they become young men and young ladies.
The one thing that keeps going through my mind from reading Hints on Child Training is that sternness is not a good thing. The list above reminded me of that. It will be interesting to read if he relates sternness to shame.
In addition to that, I am reminded that Discipline is a form of the word Discipleship. Are you discipling your child when you discipline him or her? That is a huge question. We carry great responsibility to these precious children.
How many of you would like to learn about proper etiquette? I will give you some insight on the proper manners of the earlier centuries. Nowadays we don’t have too many rules of Etiquette that too many people follow. I thought everyone could learn from this…even guys. So I am going to do a series on it.
Part I
Etiquette: Socially Acceptable
Manners make the man…or woman, as the case may be. During the Victorian age in England, proper etiquette was key in achieving self-worth and respect. From day to day social behavior, to personal relationships, etiquette during the time that Arcadia took place (in the early 1800’s) was a dominant force effecting the actions of the people. They are all very well-thought ideals.
Socially acceptable…
• When in the company of multiple acquaintances, it is offensive for one to blatantly inquire about the time.
• The only proper gifts to be given to those people other than one’s relatives include exclusively books, flowers, music, and confectionery of sorts.
• Upon one’s first encounter with a new acquaintance, it is not acceptable for one address the other in a less than formal manner.
• All greetings should be carried out with the same tone of voice–no favoritism should be shown.
• Despite your interest, or lack thereof, it is only proper to show apparent sympathy with the situation at hand.
• When you are accompanied by a companion while traveling, it is customary to inquire about their preference in routes, and consequently, use that route.
• You should always greet someone and call them by their correct title: sir, madam, miss, lord, lady, etc.
Questions:
• Did you know any of them?
• Which ones? • How many are still in affect?
• Do you do any of them?
• Why they are important?
A book called “Georgisms” is a great manner book. It was written by George Washington throughout his life - starting when he was very young. Simple manners makes one pleasant to be around.
Coming Next: Part II Table Manners
I am also writing for the Girlhood Home Companion bythe Novak’s. Please subscribe to it to read my articles coming in future issues.
“What do you do when you can see through anything?”
Clark Kent asked his mom as he looked through a wall with his x-ray vision. This was on SMALLVILLE, so you may not have seen it. The reply his mother gave, I thought, was very wise. “You learn to close your eyes,” was her simple answer. I have felt for a couple days that I should write a post about the subject of Modesty and learning to close your eyes, heart, and mind to the evil of the world. Mother has posted 2 posts about Swimwear & Modesty and such, which is probably why I’ve been thinking about this. Also SuperAngel was reading the bible to us last night, and the verse she was reading struck me funny.
Isaiah 6: 9-10… “Then I (Isaiah) said, “Here am I! Send me” And He said, “Go, and tell this people: Keep on hearing, but do not understand; keep on seeing, but do not perceive. Make the heart of this people dull, and their ears heavy, and shut their eyes: Lest they see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart, and return and be healed.”
This verse is very well spoken, in my opinion. The Lord is saying, Keep your heart closed to my Word and do not hear with your ears, but when you are ready to come back to me and you want to see with your eyes and open your heart, the Lord will be ready to heal you; and he will, over and over and over. But lets talk about Isaiah. He said, “Here I am, Lord send me!” Now, if you are wondering what my point is, I’ll tell you. When you can do anything or see anything, and in our world today of free thinkers, we as Americans think it is ok to NOT close our eyes. Especially Christians.
Let me give you my definition of a Christian: In today’s world, a Christian is someone who believes in Jesus as their savior but fails to live TOTALLY biblically. They do what’s right to a point, but when it comes to dressing modestly, their schooling choices, church and other such things they discard what they know to be true. Some people don’t know, and they are deceived, but, they should know, because, Bibles are readily available, even at the local Wal-Mart. On the subject of HSing… I have often heard this phrase used: “My children are being a witness in their school.” People often say this when confronted with the idea of HSing. We, of course, don’t bring the subject up unless it pertains to us but people often feel the need to defend themselves, anyway. I 100% disagree with PS and will NEVER put my children in it. I enjoy teaching young children and it will be a great joy when I have own.
So, “What do you do when you can see through anything?” As a believer and as a biblical young lady, I find this very disturbing to see Christians knowing they should close their eyes but don’t. I see girls running around in 2 potato chips and a Band-Aid, as Mom recently heard. Movies and cars, girlfriends and boyfriends are things that Christian young adults just need to close their eyes about. Why is it that a parent can’t protect their son or daughter about dating and hold them accountable? Why can we not be totally apart from the world? The Lord did not say, “You are in the world so blend in as best as you can.” No, He said, “You are in the world NOT of the world.”
I don’t date (Never have never will).I saw where another blogger posted a requirement list for her daughter's future husband. I don’t dress immodestly (I always have a skirt on that goes well below my knees – not tight- and only wear long t-shirts at home. In fact, I am too embarrassed to wear anything that would show skin. I have never been able to wear a shirt if it did not come to the middle of my backside. Another thing about being modest is we all of us women in our family have long hair. Having short hair would make me look like a boy and unfeminine so, and I don’t watch every movie that comes out. Mom and Dad preview it first to make sure it is appropriate. I don’t need to see everything in movies. The more I’m away from those things the less I know. To close this post I would like to ask everyone to stop by Mom’s; and read up on her posts. I am open to comments, but please no open debates. I thought I would post a little list of requirements for my future husband. Overall I will do what He says but I think it would be good for me to check these things out first.
1. The young man needs to ask my father for permission to court or see me.
2. He has to be a biblical believer and know the Lord. He should have a role of leadership.
3. HSing would be another issues, because I would like to home educate my children and I think it is important.
4. We would have to agree about the way to raise children, such as spanking and discipline. The number of children will also be discussed.
5. Eating habits, sleep times (Because I am not an earlier riser unless I have to be. I am a night owl… LOL ).
6. I don’t want in-laws like Ray Ramon’s…
7. I am attracted to brown, curly hair, so if the Lord could grant that wish, I would be grateful.
7 But when ye pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do:
for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking.
8 Be not ye therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth
what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
9 After this manner therefore pray ye:
Our Father which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
10 Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
12 And forgive us our debts,
as we forgive our debtors.
13 And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil:
For thine is the kingdom, and the power,
and the glory, for ever. Amen.
Exodus 20:1-17 The Ten Commandments
1 And God spake all these words, saying,
2 I am the LORD thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
3 Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
4 Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
5 Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; 6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.
7 Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
8 Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy. 9Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work: 10 But the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates: 11 For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
12 Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
13 Thou shalt not kill.
14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.
15 Thou shalt not steal.
16 Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.
Deuteronomy 6:1-13
1 Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the judgments, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that ye might do them in the land whither ye go to possess it:
2 That thou mightest fear the LORD thy God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command thee, thou, and thy son, and thy son's son, all the days of thy life; and that thy days may be prolonged.
3 Hear therefore, O Israel, and observe to do it; that it may be well with thee, and that ye may increase mightily, as the LORD God of thy fathers hath promised thee, in the land that floweth with milk and honey.
4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:
5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.
9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.
10 And it shall be, when the LORD thy God shall have brought thee into the land which he sware unto thy fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give thee great and goodly cities, which thou buildedst not,
11 And houses full of all good things, which thou filledst not, and wells digged, which thou diggedst not, vineyards and olive trees, which thou plantedst not; when thou shalt have eaten and be full;
12 Then beware lest thou forget the LORD, which brought thee forth out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage.
13 Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve him, and shalt swear by his name.
I am a wife of 19 years and homeschool mom with 8 children, trying my best to learn and teach them the ways of the Lord. We are Bible-first eclectic homeschoolers. Our oldest is 18, and our youngest is 14 months. We enjoy living on 2 1/2 acres where we home birth, garden and raise goats and chickens. I created this blog to share with my daughters and friends what we learn and struggle with as wives, mothers and daughters following the Lord and His Word for our roles as Believers so that we may gain wisdom from each other. Join us in our adventure called life.
Welcome!
I am not thankful. That sounds impossible, but I always end my thoughts, even after frustrations, with how sweet my child is and how much I truly love him or her. That is only from God, because it has not always been this way!
Five years ago, I got a hold of a different homeschooling philosophy through such resources as Educating the Wholehearted Child and The Charlotte Mason Companion. Then, three years ago, I found a few sites that promoted a Biblical life. Sadly, that was all new to me. I had been a Christian for fifteen years, but did not have a clear understanding of denying my rights for His. I started reading my Bible differently, and God put a hunger in me to be a Godly wife. I no longer read it from my perspective, but from God’s. It wasn’t the world’s or the Church’s point of view I saw. I finally saw how different Scriptures I had heard or read over and over related to each other. It was as though I understood a new language. I understood that God has a specific personality and is steady. I can see, in His Word, what God thinks about things. He told us, and it is in there, if we look and listen. The Old Testament became more real to me and more a part of the New Testament than it had ever been.
We started doing things that the world no longer holds in high regard. We were so thrilled to learn them and enjoy each other and have something to show for it. We were blessed to make quilts and include it as a part of their learning. We started sewing. We spent time scrapbooking together. We had home births with our sixth and seventh children and welcomed two new sons into the family together as a family affair. We bought two goats and became interested in homesteading. There were still rebellion issues with the girls, but God walked us through them. He kept us close through the anger and hurt and brought us closer than we had ever been. He had a purpose.
And for their friends! Real life created many opportunities for reflection and soul-searching, and allows them to do it inwardly and openly at the same time. They have grown from the inside out.
I do not deserve the unconditional love that my daughters show me on a daily basis. Or that any of my children show me, for that matter. I am not always the best example of gentleness, love or holiness. I do not always start my day off in the Word as I would like to do. We have by no means arrived, nor am I saying that our particular journey is the only way to become who God has created woman to be. I am still so sinful, and I do not feel worthy of so many blessings as God has given me. It is a good thing that neither my goodness nor my sinfulness is the measure by which God gives me His grace. It is a good thing He measures it out much more than any of us deserves.
Last year I opened a blog on homesteadblogger entitled Training Daughters, Teaching Wives. My intention was to blog about things we had learned or were learning on this journey we have made in becoming Godly women. We were going to be reading Created To be his HelpMeet together, and I thought we could post about it on there. Though we do not blog on it regularly, the TDTW blog has become a little blog compilation of some of our posts,
