A Christian Woman Thinks (And It's Dangerous)

Lucky Thirteen

Where did it all begin? Well, pull up a chair and I'll tell you. It's not an unusual story, but it's ours, and I tell it here to celebrate our day....

In April of 1992, my engagement to a young man I'd dated for about three years came to an abrupt end. I suffered through my brother's wedding in May of 1992, knowing my own wedding day was no longer looming on the horizon (that had been planned for February of 1993).

Thinking to help me out, a friend at work decided to set me up on a blind date. She had done this before, without much success... but for some reason I agreed to this new proposal. How could I lose? I was scheduled to meet John, and if I didn't find him cute or interesting his friend Ernie was going to be at the house, and he also lived with a single uncle. Three chances in one night.

Michelle had gone to high school with John. They had been buddies for a long time. So John wasn't too thrilled with Michelle's proposal, either - perhaps she'd set him up before, too? In any case, he found himself agreeing, too, despite having just ended a four-year serious relationship himself.

Neither of us took care to extend our best face forward - at least, I didn't. I figured I was NOT going to go to great lengths to impress this guy, because I didn't care too much about the outcome. It was a long shot when you got paired up by a friend. In this case, Michelle thought we might like each other because we were both "religious" (whatever that meant).

Michelle and I worked out at the gym before heading to John's apartment. I didn't even shower afterwards. I just changed my shirt. Jeepers! I did bring my guitar along, though, because Michelle told me John played bass and wouldn't mind playing some songs with me. If you know me at all, you know this was an effort on my part. For someone who has been playing guitar since second grade, I do NOT enjoy taking my guitar to picnics, family gatherings, etc., to play for folks. Weird, eh? I just don't know what to play to entertain you... but I have always been part of church folk groups and contemporary bands.

Back to the story. We arrived. We played some songs. I thought John was kind of cute. He must have found me cute, too. We left. Michelle did the mutual calling of friends to find out what we thought about each other. Oh, and before we left, I believe I gave John my phone number.

Since Michelle's polling showed favorable results, John called me later that week and invited me to dinner at his house. What he said on the phone that day has now become family legend. John said I was invited to his house for dinner. He was having BLTs and just happened to have some extra bacon. Well, not wanting him to waste his bacon, I headed over.

He was nervous. This was our first date without any other friends around. John's hands were shaking. I didn't know this - all I knew was, he had the bacon on the counter and said I could make my own sandwich, since I knew how much bacon I wanted on it. In reality, he couldn't make it with me standing there, or I would have seen his hands shake. Strange, strange second date, but it went well enough for us to keep seeing each other.

John was not working at this time. He was actually out on strike. Little did I know what a blessing this would be, because when he went back to work in the fall (September or so) he worked second shift, Friday through Monday. No weekends together! By the way, he worked this shift for SEVERAL years after we were married, too - and to this day he still works part of the weekend, still second shift. Not always an easy thing in a marriage.

The year stretched on. We had ups and downs, but I believed we loved each other and were headed for marriage. Maybe I'd be married in 1993 after all, and even though it seemed quick and on the rebound, I felt at peace about it. I began to attend his church with him, and spent most of my extra time with him. This wasn't easy due to the fact he worked weekends, as I said, and the fact I was working as a newspaper reporter and had to work odd hours as well.

In June or July, about a year after we met, the unthinkable happened. John decided to break up with me. I'm still not sure why! He said something about not wasting my time, since we were older, and if we weren't going to get married I should move on. Why he didn't want to get married, I am not sure. Nothing happened to make him mad at me... I suppose he just got to thinking one day, and maybe he felt pressured to get married and wasn't sure he wanted to yet. At any rate, he agreed we could go discuss our relationship with our pastor. I think he was thinking the pastor would agree he should move on if he wasn't ready to commit.

Instead, our pastor stunned us both. He listened to John & I, and then he said he had watched our relationship grow. He thought it was the best thing that had happened to John (he had known John for a while). And he thought we should be thinking about setting a wedding date.

 

What a whirlwind we got caught up in after that! John's attitude changed. Maybe he just needed to hear it from someone else that it was okay to have a good relationship, and to get married. Maybe God used the whole event to show us where to go next. We bought rings. We planned for December, only four months or so away. We began cashing in all our change to help pay for the wedding - fortunately we had help from my mom and from John's parents. We had a very modest wedding, about 120 people were invited to the service and simple fare in the recreation room attached to the church afterwards.

I had a wedding gown to use from my previous engagement. I really liked it, I believe it was an Alfred Angelo, full of beads and sequins. It was heavy! When you put it on, it kind of weighed you down, but how wonderful it felt to wear it. I still have it tucked away, hopefully to share with my two daughters when they marry (perhaps they can use a piece of it in their own gowns or wedding attire somehow).

One other note of interest: the pastor who let us schedule the December 4 date got in trouble for doing so - it seems our wedding conflicted with a previously scheduled holiday craft fair! He did call and ask us to change the date, but we begged for mercy as our invitations had already been printed, and we did NOT have the $140 to print them again. So he took the heat from the craft fair ladies, who had to print their flyers again and change their date. Boy, were they mad - and boy, was I relieved.

Another trivia fact: We found out just before our wedding that John's sister had attended my cousin's wedding a few years before I met John. Seems they were friends from work. I did not know her then and didn't notice her at my cousin's wedding, which I was a part of. Strange, eh?

Happy Anniversary!

{ 06:32, Monday, December 4, 2006 } { Posted by Anonymous }

What a sweet story! I really enjoyed reading about it. I was so glad to see you yesterday and the hug felt great! Our lives have changed since the coming of my father-in-law as he has been going down hill really fast. Hope to see you and Joy Tuesday night!!--Jennifer

Happy Anniversary

{ 09:56, Monday, December 4, 2006 } { Posted by sharps }

Very nice story. I hope that you and John had a very nice anniversary. I think about and pray for you often. Building can be stressfull in itself and you have the added stress of having to share the space your in. Living with parents/inlaws can't be easy. Know the Lord knows your struggles and will bless you abundantly for seeking and doing His will, as hard and as lonley as that may be at times.
Love ya bunches
Connie

Have a good one!

{ 01:06, Monday, December 4, 2006 } { Posted by erisarei }

Or really a good many! :) I enjoy listening to how other people got together.



I wanted a Christmas wedding, but someone else was getting married that month at church. If it were at a different church, we probably could have went ahead and gotten married then. But we weren\'t, and that\'s a completely different story!

Happy Anniversary

{ 03:50, Tuesday, December 5, 2006 } { Posted by Darcy }

Ah Chris, I love the way you told your story. Isn't it funny the things that people say that stay with us over the years? Just think, if John hadn't had that extra bacon who knows what might not have happened! Congratulations to both of you and may there be many more years of BLT'S ahead of you!

God bless your marriage in this coming year,
Darcy

Congratulations!!

{ 04:55, Wednesday, December 6, 2006 } { Posted by HeMarriedMedusa }

Dear Chris,
Your wonderful story gave me the lift I needed to login. I loved it. Truly! And as for the Bacon everyone else said it all (lol). And the addition, maybe you and I can have a race (j/k) to see who finishes first (mine's already taken 3 yrs and it only needed two walls and a patio, so I know who'll win and it's not me!). Happy Anniversary and Many More to Come! Thank you for sharing it.
Sincerely, Brenda