Little tidbits of my life

Ordination Service

I wanted to mention to my friends here that my BIL Brian will be ordained as a preacher in a couple weeks.  I am SO proud of him for making this step!  He married my oldest sister in 1991 and is the "brother" I never had (well one of them, as my other BIL Tim is also my 'brother" I never had!).  Brian has preached for many years and I always love to hear him.  He has a sort of "visualization" style that really brings the message to life before your eyes.  He and my sister currently work with Children's Church and he brings amazing messages to the kids.  He often dresses up as a bible character, or just whatever he can do to make the message memorable to the audience. 

My BIL also asked me to play/sing at the service, so please pray for me and my BIL both.  I have several ideas spinning through my head, but I am not settled yet as to what I should play/sing.  I know God will show me in His time, though. 

SIDENOTE:  Fibromyalgia has been really tough all week...pain is increasing again AND I'm still sleeping way too much.  After sleeping since 2 am, I got up at 6 pm.  Now it is again 2 am, I am about to go to bed AGAIN.  Mainly I ask you, my blogging friends, to pray that God gives me good rest tonight and that I will feel better and well rested in the morning at 9 am and be able to go to church.  Mornings are the worst time usually, so it's often difficult to get up and do anything before noon or so.  I know that things could be much worse, so please do not take this as complaining.  I just simply need prayer to help me during the more difficult days.  Please let me know if there's anything you ever want me to pray about as well. 

Thank you and God Bless you!

Teresa

My Mother's Day Story

As I have shared before, although I am a mother at heart, I am not able to physically have children (at age 32, I had to have a total hysterectomy a couple years ago due to severe endometriosis and severe PCOS).  My husband does not want to adopt at this point.  I am at peace with his decision for now.  PLEASE NOTE, I am not sharing this for pity.  I want to share my story to show how GREAT God is.  So here is my Mother's Day Story:

It was the FIRST Mother's Day after my hysterectomy.  I had MANY thoughts that day:

I was NOT going to have a rough time sitting in the church service because I had waited such a long time before deciding to have the hysterectomy.  I was TOTALLY at peace with this decision, WASN'T I?  My doctor had told me I needed the surgery a year before I actually agreed with him and scheduled the surgery.  I'd prayed and prayed.  This WAS the right decision.  I couldn't stand the pain anymore.  Was I just being a wimp, or had I made the right decision???  No, I saw the pictures from 2 prior surgeries of the irrepairable damage and scar tissue.  I was ABSOLUTELY SURE I had tried all I could do prior to scheduling the hysterectomy.  I had taken fertility drugs month after month, purchased and FAITHFULLY used an ovulation kit for years, took Lupron injections per doctor's advice, as much as FDA would allow, to give us more time to try...NOTHING HAD WORKED.  The fertility clinic had even told me I was not a viable candidate for IVF.  I KNEW THAT IT WAS NOT GOD'S WILL FOR ME AND MY HUSBAND TO HAVE CHILDREN!!!  Ahhhhh.  peace overwhelmed me with the reality that it was NOT my fault that we couldn't have children.  It was simply a fact that we must live with and MOVE ON. 

The peace took me through the singing portion of the church service.  BUT when the flowers started being passed around to all mothers, an overwhelming despair hit me all over again.  I MUST NOT CRY, I MUST NOT CRY, I MUST NOT CRY!!!  I just KNEW everyone was thinking "poor Teresa", "pitiful Teresa", "maybe someone will give Teresa a flower"...(as if everyone in the service was thinking about me) the LAST thing I wanted right then was a FLOWER.  Don't make eye contact!  As a deacon tried to hand me a flower, I QUICKLY got up and left the auditorium.  I found myself going downstairs and before I realized what I was doing, I was standing in the nursery.  WHY I AM IN THE NURSERY, I DO NOT KNOW, I thought to myself.  I had avoided the nursery for months and never signed up to be a nursery volunteer.  Miraculously, I was NOT crying!  I told the nursery worker to head on upstairs and get her flower, I'd take care of the nursery for her.  She was SO excited, she just ran right out to get her flower.  I sat down to regroup.  I felt better as I focused on my surroundings.  At this moment, I met a little boy named Tristan.  At the time, he was 6 years old.  I had never noticed him before.  I quickly realized that Tristan was different than anyone I had ever met.  He sat down beside me and said "shoes off".  Hmmm...my shoes were on, so I took them off.  He grinned ever so sweetly and said louder "SHOES OFF!!!". He seemed at that moment the happiest person in the world!  After about 20 more comments ranging from "SHOES ON" to "SHOES OFF", the nursery worker was back with her flower.  She immediately started talking to me about the upcoming Vacation Bible School, of which she was the director.  During this conversation, and for the rest of the service, I observed Tristan's behavior.  Assumingly because he was not the CENTER of attention, he was knocking over rocking chairs, tossing toys around, doing whatever he could to hault our conversation and get our attention.  Something about Tristan really intrigued me.  The nursery worker proceeded to tell me that Tristan is autistic.  He was also adopted from birth by a couple at our church.  This was my first encounter with a child who has been diagnosed with autism, so I was very surprised at how active and sweet that he was.  I realized that maybe stereotyping is NOT useful when it comes to something like autism.

I left the service that day with Tristan dwelling on my mind.  I started praying that God would lay it upon someone's heart at church to start a Special Needs Program.  I realized Tristan was too old for the nursery.  He simply was BORED in the nursery since no one really had a program in order to keep him busy.  They just sat around holding babies and watching toddlers and Tristan play in the floor (and after all, isn't this why we volunteer to work in the nursery???).

I generally put this out of my mind as the weeks passed, but I did still remember to pray about Tristan's needs and the possibility of a Special Needs Ministry at our church.

A couple months later, I was at the nursing home when our pastor told me he would like a few minutes of my time after the service.  I often play the piano at the local nursing home for a ministry our church does, including a service of singing and our pastor also preaches at this service.  I waited for the pastor after the service and we walked out to our vehicles together.  He told me that for a few months, God had laid it on his heart to pray about the development of a Special Needs Ministry at our church for children.  He said that for the past few weeks, he realized God wanted him to ask me to help him pray about this ministry.  I readily agreed and Tristan again came to my mind.  I assumed this was the end of the conversation, so as I turned to go to my car, I heard him say that he felt the Lord wanted ME to be the Special Needs Coordinator and Sunday School teacher!!!!  OKAY, SHOCK, I was AGHAST, UMMMM  NO, NO, NO!  I had NO IDEA how to be a teacher to kids with special needs like autism.  I at once told him I thought he was HUGELY mistaken in whom God wanted for this ministry.  He smiled and simply asked one thing of me:  PRAY ABOUT THIS FOR ONE WEEK BEFORE GIVING HIM MY ANSWER.

Well, as you can imagine, one week later, I knew without a doubt that God was calling me to this ministry.  I had researched the topic and contacted several people from various churches that already had such a ministry.  Everything just fell into place, as things often do when GOD IS IN CONTROL of the situation.  I presented a very detailed plan to the deacons and as the new Sunday School year began, I found myself with Tristan as his teacher!

I remember last year (2007) on Mother's Day, I actually sang the "special" for the service.  I sang a song I had written in honor of my mother called "A Mother's Love is a Special Gift".  That's how well I was holding up in this service, NO CRYING, and NO LEAVING THE SERVICE EARLY!!!!!  AND when the flowers were passed out, Tristan's dad brought me a flower and told me that he and his wife realized I had a mother's heart toward their son and that I deserved the flower.  That was just such a wonderful moment for me.  This flower was given to me in gratitude, NOT PITY.  I realized AGAIN how much God loves me.  FOR a YEAR, God had fulfilled my mother's heart by letting me serve God at church with our Special Needs Ministry.  I found that I looked forward to class.  I LOVED the time spent with Tristan.  We bonded immediately and it was so obvious to me that God had planned it all!!!  He's clever like that, you know.  I had learned a whole new language in the year we spent together.  (He has his own language to communicate).  My thoughts that day were fully centered around thanksgiving to the Lord for His blessings and for the surprises that come along that make us realize just how much He really loves us.

SO HERE I AM, MOTHER'S DAYS 2008...I realize as I type this that I didn't have even ONE "poor pitiful me" moment during the entire service!  I contentedly sat in the service with Tristan beside me.  I realized again how blessed I am to have this special child in my life.  I have had the privilege of seeing him grow for the past two years.  From our first class together, I had held his little hand while we prayed...simply because he is SUPER ACTIVE, so to make sure he is not running around the room getting into anything while I have my eyes closed praying, I held his hand...BUT Tristan now insists on holding hands any time someone prays!  It has actually became such a sweet thing for him to reach for someone's hand as soon as he hears "Let us pray".  More recently, I've been trying to help him grasp the concept of bowing our head when we pray.  WELL, when I tell Tristan to bow his head, he promptly puts his head down on the table with nose touching!  LOL...I was so tickled the first time he did this.  I quickly assured him he was NOT in trouble and that bowing our head is not the same as putting our head down in school.  Nevertheless, now every time I start to pray in our sunday school classroom, with nose touching, Tristan puts his head all the way down to the table!  I'm still trying to figure out how to help him differentiate on this one.  Tristan wanted to put the sunday school money into the envelope, but could not easily pick up the coins from the table.  His motor skills is one area he needs individual help.  I showed him how he could scoot the money to the edge of the table, then pick it up as it is halfway off the edge.  He figured it out from the first time I showed him.  Now he does it almost without even thinking!  I play the fiddle and this instrument is now one of the objects for which Tristan has became very intrigued.  I played it for him one day, so now if I don't bring it to class on wednesdays, he lets me know immediately that it is missing.  He tries to say "fiddle", but it sounds more like "diddle".  When he sees a fiddle in a book, he points to the area in the room where mine sometimes sits and says "diddle!!!".  These are just some of the victories I have been privileged to be a part of in Tristan's life. 

Below is a pic of dear Tristan...this was taken last year during a "parents day out" event.

Tristan is not the only child in our church with special needs.  I have been praying for awhile about another child in our class and look forward to learning how the ministry can serve his family.  This little boy is a classmate at school with Tristan.  We've already had opportunities to help him, but I know God has more in store for him and Tristan, as well as any other child who becomes a part of this ministry. 

If you would like to start praying for this Special Needs Ministry, please start praying about incorporating the program into our church's AWANA program.  This is something I've been contemplating and praying about lately.  LO AND BEHOLD, this past wednesday our director of AWANA shared with me that he, too has recently started praying about how to incorporate this ministry into AWANA.  I am just CONSTANTLY AMAZED at how God works and even lays on our hearts things to pray and ponder! 

I hope everyone had a WONDERFUL Mother's Day this past sunday!  If you know anyone who is a "mother at heart" like me, start praying for ways God will use them.  Above all, let us all pray for VICTORY in our Christian walk, regardless of circumstance. 

God HAS A PLAN AND WE ARE PART OF HIS PLAN!!!

Prayer Request...Sad News

I just received news this weekend that a friend of mine was found dead friday.  His name is Brian Ramsey and he is close to my age (I'm 34), so still quite young.  Since hearing the news, I've found out he evidently overdosed on methadone pills...and also, his bride is now expecting their first child!  I call her his bride b/c they've only been married a year or so.

I'm just so sad to have heard this news of him.  He was in my youth group when I was a teen/early 20s.  We were all VERY close, spent every single weekend together.  We'd have bible study, supper, swim together, take crazy rides, make home movies, just all kinds of fun things and we all bonded.  As we each got married and started living separate lives, we all lost touch.  I still consider them all lifetime friends, though and I am just so sad for his bride.

Please pray for his bride and family as I just can't imagine the sorrow and pain she is going through. 

UPDATE ON ME

Some folks here have written to see why I haven't posted lately.  I've not posted much lately b/c I've been sleeping alot and don't have much to share.  My rheumatologist had changed some meds, so it's causing me to sleep much more than usual, but the pain hasnt been as bad.  I was pretty bad a couple days ago and last night, though.  I think it was from the storm front coming through friday...not sure...I came home from church today and could barely stand from the fatigue.  My hubby put me to bed and I woke up 6 hours later!  I'm still tired, but not hurting now.  ANYWAY, I have a checkup appointment this week w/the rheumatologist and will probably get more test results.

Thank you for your prayers!

Teresa

Prayer Request for me...health related

I just wanted to ask my new friends to pray for me.  I've been having these spells, I am trying to think how to describe...weak spells, sometimes shaking, dizzy...sometimes not...it kinda feels like the muscles along the sides of my neck are restricted some???...I get pretty thirsty when it happens, too...the spells is one of the symptoms my dr (internist) has been trying to diagnose.  He doesnt seem to think it is related to my fibromyalgia diagnosis.  It happens almost every afternoon/evening when I've been active at all.  We've determined it is not sugar related b/c I was already on medicine for insulin resistance and checking my blood sugar levels every day.  At the time these occur, my sugar has always tested in the normal range...my dr had told me he doesnt think it's sugar related, but he hasnt told me what it might be.  He's just been ordering more bloodwork.  He also took me off the meds for insulin resistance and so far my sugar is doing well w/o the meds.  I had originally been put on avandia about 4 years ago b/c I had PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and it is caused by insulin resistance...ANYWAY Lately b/c my widespread pain was worse, my internist has focused more on that than these spells.  I've laid around more b/c of pain meds, and then I had about 6 days of almost no pain this week, so I haven't been taking the strong pain meds and I've been up moving around more and cleaning.  During this time of increased activity this week, I've noticed these spells are EVERY single day.  I  guess I didnt notice them while in pain b/c of effects of both the pain and meds...I did well this evening at church, but for the past hour, I have felt really odd...kinda woosy, just dont feel right...

I'm going to lay down and read and try to relax enough to sleep, but I knew I could count on you to pray for me, so I felt led to ask you to do so.

ANYWAY, at least I  have a praise, too!  I praise the Lord that I've had about 6 days now with very little fibromyalgia related pain!  I am just so relieved to get a break from it.  I think it is somehow related to barometric pressures for me.  I tend to be very sensitive to the pressure dropping in our area.  I don't know, I'm just glad the suffering has eased for a few days!  Now if I could just stop having these spells!!!

Bone Scan Results...

The nurse called today regarding the bone scan I had last monday.  She told me the tests showed normal.  I asked if this means I do not have arthritis.  She said it means I do not have bone cancer!  I had not realized that my doctor was checking for cancer.  For some reason, I just assumed he suspected arthritis.  SO, I was VERY relieved to hear it was normal.  My grandmother had died from bone cancer, so this has been a concern of several family members.  The nurse suggested that the fibromyalgia could be getting more debilitating at this point as an explation of the worse pain I have recently experienced. 

I have prayed for clarity of this situation and this did somewhat settle the issue for me of the diagnosis of FM. 

Thank you so much for your prayers and concern. 

Love in Christ,

Teresa

About My Day Filled with GOOD Friends and RVs!!!

I just had a super-wonderful day.  I spent it with my super-good friend Ronelle.  I met Ronelle when I was about age 5 in Vacation Bible School.  We became fast friends and enjoyed VBS every summer growing up.  When I was in 7th grade, I was transferred to a new school due to zoning issues.  I did not know ANYONE there EXCEPT Ronelle.  She really helped me to settle into the new school.  We've been friends ever since!  We are both now 34 years old.  Ronelle was diagnosed with breast cancer last June and has been battling it ever since then.  She had to have a double mastectomy and it was also in at least 3 lymph nodes (?), so 12 lymph nodes had to go.  She has recently finished chemo and is at the halfway point of 32 radiation treatments.  I have witnessed her grow spiritually by leaps and bounds.  A webpage is set up for her to tell her journey and to receive support from everyone.  If you would like to read more about her journey and let her know you are praying for her (and I would LOVE for you to support her with encouraging words, we are all SISTERS in Christ), the website is below: 

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ronellestokes

At the same time she was first diagnosed, I was battling this horrible strain of staph that has been going around.  The tests showed positive that it was this worst strain that is so hard to get rid of.  It was in the right side of my face and nose, half of my face looked like the beast from that old show Beauty and the Beast (I never watched it, but I once crushed my nose in a wreck and my sisters called me "the Beast" b/c of all the tape on my face after the surgery...we were obviously youngsters at the time...so I knew well what he looked like).  I had a HORRIBLE time getting rid of it b/c I am allergic to antibiotics made from sulfa, which is the #1 preferred drug to kill it...SO ANYWAY, Ronelle's doctors told her specifically to stay away from anyone who is even suspected of having this staph.

I said ALL that to say I FINALLY got to spend the day w/her TODAY!!! It's the first time I got to see her since JUNE!!!  I knew for sure I was infection-free b/c I had to have bloodwork a couple weeks ago to make sure a sinus infection was "dead" as my doctor called it, so I was no longer BANNED from getting to visit her.  I had visited the Bath and Body Works outlet in January on our church's annual Women's Retreat and bought several wonderful products on clearance for her so she could really pamper herself and take time to relax...and I bought the little pink rubber ducky for her, too since proceeds were for breast cancer research.  I am a VERY thrifty shopper, so I was AMAZED at how much I was able to get for her for VERY LITTLE money....anyway, she looked really good.  Please PRAY for her b/c her left arm is swelling really bad from lymphodema, I think they call it...basically b/c the lymph nodes are gone, her body is having trouble moving that fluid through that part of her body, so it's swelling...her hair is starting to come back and it's so THICK!!!  She has been kinda' irritated w/the shortness b/c she thinks she looks like the spitting image of her little BROTHER!  lol.  Her husband said he felt a little odd the first night they went to bed after she had it all cut off b/c of the similarity.  We all had a good laugh.  I assured her, though that she looks like Ronelle, not Ron (her brother's name).  I got to tease her a little b/c it's coming back w/quite a bit of gray.  I normally wouldnt tease like this, but I am EXACTLY 2 weeks older than her and EVERY year, I get a birthday card reflecting on HOW MUCH OLDER I am compared to her...lol

We went to eat at a fairly inexpensive Japanese Restaurant Sho-Gun, then we went to the Chattanooga Trade Center for an RV show.  I haven't been to a step aerobics class in years, and today I remembered why!!!  lol.  We had so much fun, though.  After that, we went to Krispy Kreme Doughnuts because the HOT sign was flashing!!!  lol...and then we went to Target before finally parting ways.  WHEW AM I TIRED!!! I felt like I was an "old fogie" when I looked at her clock in her car and said "I haven't been out this late in years!"  It was ONLY 8 pm!!!  lol  We had so much fun, though and it was just wonderful to get to see her and know for myself that she is on the mend.

A SIDENOTE ABOUT THE RV SHOW:

I called my hubby while at the RV show and let him know I found an ideal camper for us.  I told him I thought it would be great if we sold our house and bought one b/c he works out of town alot anyway and we spend so much money on hotels.  I am always home alone when he works these jobs, so this way I could just stay with him ALL the time.  We could really use some time together like this, too.  PLUS I found a camper that had a little ramp that pulled down so that instead of using the bunk beds, we could put a motorcycle INSIDE it!!!  This would really be perfect b/c of the price of gas!  His motorcycle gets over 50 mpg!!!  ANOTHER BONUS.  WELL that was all he had to hear.  He's ready to pack up and go work out of town again!  lol.  We are going to talk about it more and I want to pray about it before making final decisions, but tentatively, we could sell our home.  We have a large pre-fabricated home, about 2,200 sq ft, so we would need to check w/the manufacturer to see if they suggest moving it once onsite, or if that would be too much on the home.  It would be great if we could, though b/c we want to keep our 2 acres for later.  ANYWAY, it's been something I've been researching for months online, but had never went to look at them till today, so OBVIOUSLY, I'm bubbling over w/excitement and just had to share the latest w/my newfound friends!

I plan to post another blog to introduce you to my family soon...until then, have a BLESSED sunday!

Love in Christ,

Teresa