Starfish Dreams
Back from Africa!
OK, I admit - I'm terrible at keeping up on a blog. can't figure out why that is, LOL. It couldn't be because I have 5 million other things calling my name . . .
Remembering Gordon B Hinckley
Our church has just announced the passing of President Gordon B Hinckley.
I am so, so sad. He is and was a wonderful, wonderful man and prophet of our church. My friend Monica just called me, knowing that we don't have TV in our house. I burst into tears, but I know that he is happily reunited with his beloved Marjorie. He has been the leader of our church for almost all of my married life. I knew he was called of God, that he led this church with competence and inspiration. He accomplished SO much. His testimony of Christ was firm and unwavering. He testified of Christ in a powerful way. He loves our Savior. He truly "walked the walk and talked the talk". I know that I will really miss him. I also know that he will leave a legacy and that as we follow his counsel, we will become better people, better spouses, better children, better neighbors and better Christians. The world just lost a great man - but wow - how the heavens must be rejoicing as he arrives.
Is winter done yet?
We are all healthy – hooray! That's the good news. We've had sickness going around, but we're all doing better. We are tired of the cold, cold weather. Even 35 degrees would be nice, but we have been seeing temps of 2-10 degrees at night and 20+ degrees for highs. Brr!
We have had some GREAT snow though – wow! The kids have had a great time snowboarding down a little hill close to us and 3 of the kids have actually done “real” skiing/snowboarding up in the mountains with their school classes. And – we finally met the normal average for snowpack – yeah! Only five more years of good snowpack until the drought is over (ha!)
The baby is getting less fussy - hooray! Her sleep is not a lot improved, but she is no longer crying every waking moment.
In fact, she is smiling more - enough that we can sometimes even capture a smile or two on camera. She laughed for the first time just a couple of weeks ago. At 7 months, she is delayed, but not as delayed as our daughter, E - she was 11 months old when she laughed for the first time! (For those of you who may not know or remember, she has hydranencephaly, meaning she is missing most of her brain.)
Some sewing fun
I have done some sewing for the girls – I found a cute “twirly skirt” pattern on another blog and used her simple guidelines to make a couple of darling Valentine's Day skirts for the younger girls.
On Thursday, K decided not to go skiing or snowboarding, and class was canceled for her, so she stayed home and sewed with me. Her little friend, A, came over and the two of them worked on making skirts for themselves. I should have been a little more selective in which materials I let them pick, because they chose fabric that frayed easily and then the second layer was just too gauzy for them to easily work with. Oops. Well, we all learned. ;) And honestly, they are DELIGHTED with them - Mom just notices a little more.
Moving update
We got K's birth certificate. Hooray! It came from California, a state notoriously slow in sending out bc's and marriage certificates. I was told to plan on close to a year, especially since it was an adoption completed in another state (this was 3 weeks ago). I went on-line, found one of those places that gets bc's fast, sent in my application and got the birth certificates in less than 2 weeks - woohoo! The annoying part was her delayed birth certificate was not OK'd until she was almost 3 years old, reminding me once again of LA County's nasty business of billing the federal government for a “special needs child” on their foster care rolls for 2 full years after her adoption was finalized. Boogerheads. Anyway, as soon as I got it, I mailed it right off to the Department of State and expect that her passport will be here within a couple of weeks.
We also re-applied for M's passport, within 3 days of his old one expiring. He is now an adult, so has a 10 year passport, instead of 5, which will certainly get him through his mission (now watch – he'll be called to Montana). And, it came back within a WEEK, even though we did not ask for expedited service. It looks like they've solved the problem of the backlog. With his back, we now have 5 “pending”, which we expect to receive in the next couple of weeks, and then we just have the baby left. We'll apply for hers right after her adoption is final.
We got a new homestudy done – at least the home visit part – as well as the post-placement visit prior to finalizing Angelia's adoption. It's always great visiting with our homestudy worker – we're in agreement on so many things that at least some people “don't get”. It won't be fully completed until we get police clearance back from Africa . . .
I have had a number of people talking to me about helping in our new organization. It's really quite wonderful and exciting. A friend of mine who used to head up an NGO doing work in South America sent me some info on an attorney who is eager to help us with the non-profit paperwork for not a lot of money – that's great. Dh and I met with her Friday to talk over her experience and to get her guidance. She had lots of great input for us on non-profit stuff, setting up organizations, etc. She's coming down in the next week or two to talk to us about traveling with kids (she's writing a book). We have a bit of experience with that . . .
We also had a woman contact us about help with funding, in-kind donations, and volunteer work. She heard about us from a homeschool friend and it sounds like a great fit. They are heavily involved with Thomas Jefferson education and service/giving back/finding your life's mission are all important aspects of this program.
We have had non-specific offers of corporate funding, so we'll be following up on those once we firm things up.
We've run into our first "accusations" of "colonialism" by someone that has done a lot of humanitarian work around the world.
Right off the bat, the first thing out of her mouth was “If you are going to spend that much money to move your family, why not just find another family for your girls and use your money to support Africans in Africa. It would help a lot of people, not just those three girls.” She told me again that I should just find them an African family to raise them, and pay them to do so – that's what would be best . . . .
Next, she told she would NEVER hire an American family to run a baby home and take away jobs from the local folks. I think she told me that part at least three times, at least three different ways, including that she found it morally offensive to even think of having Americans come in to “run things”.
I understand the concerns, but I still feel like we need to keep working on getting our girls home. Who knows - we may find a different location to "land" outside of Africa . . . still exploring all our options
A birthday!
As you can imagine, we have them frequently!R is now 7! She had her birthday on January 19. She is such a dolly – we just LOVE having her in our family. She chose waffles with raspberries and whipped cream for her birthday breakfast. Then, she had dinosaur chicken nuggets for lunch and homemade pizza, root beer floats and cupcakes for dinner. For gifts, she got several new puzzles (she LOVES doing them and is really quite good at it), some new clothes, chips, gum (a HUGE pack from Costco) and a case of Sprite. She has the cutest grin ever, with her missing teeth. It's a race to see if she'll have new front teeth before the side ones fall out! They are loose, but the first little nubbies of her big teeth are starting to come through. I just adore that girl. She is doing well in school, overall. Math is a BREEZE for her. Reading is harder but coming right along. She is always well-behaved and never (and I do mean never) a behavioral problem there. (Or at home, really, although we still see an occasional tantrum and some great pouting.) She has a new haircut, too, that she is very fond of. She's a real sweetheart and blessing to our family.
Ready to start!
Here's that puzzle, all done!
Blowing out the candle on the cupcake
Quickie
I never think I have anything interesting to blog about - what's so exciting about running a family of 16 kids, LOL?! So - the quick update is this:*We have all passports back now except the baby's, whose adoption will be finalized this month, and our daughter that was born in California. We are waiting on her birth certificate. I ordered it through an online service that says it will have it to me in about 2 weeks, but I've also heard it'll take a year.
*The kids all got 4 shots each and will go back in a month to get two more. Fun, fun!
*We're incorporating next week, then applying for non-profit status
*My tickets are paid for to fly to Africa in March and visit our adopted daughters who aren't allowed to immigrate. We will start paperwork on that side once I/we get there.
*I'm practically begging dh to come with me.
*I'm aiming to move in June or July . . . dh thinks it will be at LEAST a year. In these issues, I usually end up being right - we'll see
*I'm still making bread 4+ times a week. Just made it again this morning before everyone went off to school.
*We de-junked two rooms . . . .
TTFN!
Living there vs vacationing
Blogging off of Gloria's comment about homesickness and vacationing, one of the things that might be different for us is that we KNOW we have to be there a minimum of two years. We can't "pray for pink", or wish to exit PGN just a little faster. We know that it will be at LEAST 730 days.I expect we'll all be homesick at various times. I expect that we will be surprised at what we miss and to some extent, to which parts of the culture drive us crazy. I expect there will be days when we long for the good ole' US of A. And yet, I also think we will really love it. I expect that we'll grow closer than ever as a family and that we will create memories that will last a lifetime. *My* fear is that after two years or more, I won't want to come back!
You know, I lived overseas as a teen and while adjusting to the language was hard, I don't remember ever being homesick. We were there 3 years and 3 months and I sobbed and sobbed when I had to leave and come back to the States.
There are a lot of issues to think through, to be sure, but the bottom line is that if we go, we can parent our girls and bring them back to the States after a couple of years. If we don't, they are likely lost to us forever. Everything else is just details . . .
Other people's reactions
As I've started to tell people of our plans to move to Africa, the responses have been interesting. For the most part, people are supportive and understanding, nodding their heads as I explain it's the only way to get the girls home. I've heard comments like:*"It makes perfect sense"
*"I know you guys can do it"
*"What a great experience for your kids"
*"I'd love to do something like that"
*"Coming from anyone else it would sound crazy, but for you, it sounds 'just right'"
*"How can I help?"
I think it's great! We've had some doozies, too. Just last night, the younger kids went over to the church to meet their Sunday school teachers. I was at a little table with my 3 yo, her new teacher and another mom who is married to a professional ball player. The ball player's wife thought it was great, said her hubby would be glad to donate sports memorabilia to help with fundraising. The other woman, however, looked at me and said: "But is it worth it? Don't you love America?" I said, "Of course I love America, but I love my girls more". She literally shook her head and said again "But is it worth it?". Well yeah, duh. They're my kids!! Maybe because I have many children she thought I wouldn't love new ones as much? I've also had several people tell me that we should sneak the girls out of Africa and into Canada maybe, then make our way across the border. Uh, no. Thanks, though. There were a couple other illegal suggestions, but they're not really options, kwim?
For the most part, though, I have been delighted at the kind, supportive reception our "crazy" idea has gotten!
Africa update
While we still can't say we've decided "for sure", we are moving forward with our plans to move to Africa and start a baby home. We will keep going until it either comes to fruition, or until the Lord stops us. So far, though, it's the green light all the way.We have done passports for all the children, even though the post office folks didn't really understand what needed to be sent in.
I told them that for the internationally adopted kids, we needed to send some sort of proof that they entered the country legally - their green card or their passport with the appropriate visa. They were sure we did not need to, so off it went without those documents. I got called from the National Passport Center this week, asking me to send in verification that the children were in the country legally. Since we're not in a rush to leave, it's not a problem, but still. . . . Yesterday, I took the whole passel of kids down to the docs for vaccinations. We are delayed/selective vaccinators at best, but living in Africa for several years puts a whole new face on it. Except for the baby, they each got 4 shots: the MMR, Hep A, Hep B, and polio. The baby got the polio and Hep B vaccine, but is too little for the others. We go back in a month for the second Hep B and the second MMR. . . .
We are also moving forward with the paperwork for a foundation and 501c(3) - but I need a name! Ideas are welcome.
DH and I are just heading off to the docs right now, to get our own physicals for our latest homestudy (to continue the process for the three girls that were legally adopted a year ago!) Oh well. We go to a great guy. Not only will he do the physicals, but he'll write a GLOWING letter of recommendation for us. That's always a real boost.
TTYL - and give me name ideas that aren't already taken!
Christmas morning, part two
I need to tell you about our Christmas morning. We had some lovely people from our church anonymously help with Christmas this year. It was very welcome. They made sure that each child had some new church clothes - white shirts and ties for the boys, dresses for the girls - and that they each got a "fun" present. They also gave mom and dad some presents. The "big" present was a painting - we could tell by the size and shape of the package. I told dh that I wished it was the new picture of Christ holding an African child (from the same country where my girls are) done by Liz Lemon Swindle. I "knew" it couldn't be, as she just painted it in October and who would even know of my longing to have that painting in my home? Well, apparently God did, for He inspired someone to buy that very picture - and have it personally signed by the artist! When I opened the package Christmas morning, I burst into tears and cried steadily for at least 10 minutes. I felt very loved.. . . . it made my whole Christmas.Here is a picture of that picture. I LOVE looking at it.
Not just moving, but
how about running an orphanage . . . ?! The latest thing rumbling around in my head is this: Move to Africa, purchase property with or without a home and set up and run a baby home, ages newborn to three. Plan on staying 3-5 years . . . Starfish Daddy just smiles at me and says he's "not there yet", but he's not really opposed, either - just concerned about finances. We would basically sell all that we have, put just a few things in storage, or have them stored for us, and follow God to Africa . . . Of course, we wouldn't even consider it if we didn't have three daughters legally ours and "stuck" there. But - if we have to live there for two years, why not make it long enough to really get a good orphanage project off the ground? This current idea has only been rattling around in my brain since Saturday and I already have more than a dozen people interested in helping, including one (major) corporate sponsor . . . wowee! I'll probably be headed over in March to visit the girls and lay some (more) groundwork . . . .talk about "homesteading"!$1,000 later . . .
All the kids (except the newest one) now either have a passport or have applied for one. We trooped over to the post office (after making an appointment) with 13 kids, 12 of whom needed passports. It took us an hour and a half and as I said, about $1000. Only a couple of the kids were born in the US - they were really easy. The others weren't hard, necessarily, but involve more paperwork. I had already trooped all the kids to Costco and taken pictures a few weeks ago. Then, I filled out all their application forms online and printed them off, then I created folders and filled each one with all of the necessary paperwork. Lots of work before we even got to the counter. :) Both Starfish Daddy and I had to be there because of security concerns about international kidnapping, so we had to find a time when we could both go! All the kids had to go too and at least "be seen", since they were not old enough to sign their own adoption applications.We submitted US adoption paperwork, but they didn't want to take the foreign stuff. I think that's probably a mistake on their part, but hey - we'll see! If they need more information, they'll contact us . . .
They told us to expect passports back in 4-6 weeks "officially", but said it's been taking as little as two weeks recently. We are doing it now, as I anticipated 4-6 months, with the backlog they've had.
I can't tell you what a relief it is to get them off! I swear Satan did not want us doing this and tried to stop us in a myriad of ways, but we did it. All kids are US citizens and now they'll have proof! Of course, I'm still hoping we'll need 'em to move. . . . .
Christmas and no melt-downs
I seem to be unusually blessed, but we have (so far) avoided the fairly typical holiday melt-down for adopted kids, especially the ones who came as older children. Many of my friends with families similar to mine dread this time of year because it's so hard on their children and subsequently their families. Mine just simply have not had that problem (which of course jinxes me for next year!). They love Christmas, they love the festivities and even all the family togetherness.
I am thankful for small blessings - and large ones too, as this undoubtedly is.
Our Christmas angel
Here is our beautiful baby!
Christmas morning
Here is a picture of the kids and their jammies! I ended up sewing 19 pairs of pants, 3 gowns and 5 tops, with a few more to come.
Our Christmas Eve menu
We decided to go "ethnic" and chose Eastern Europe this time. I made pierogi, also known as vareniki (basically homemade noodles like ravioli, stuffed with a variety of things, but we used a mashed potato mixture). I had them for the first time in 1993 when I was in Kazakhstan adopting our first EE daughter and wow - they were SO good! They served them to me hot and dripping with butter. Heaven. (And let's me know that my attempts are not very authentic . . . . )Greg made pilov (aka pilaf) as we had it in Kazakhstan. It's a traditional dish that it SO important in some EE cultures that a man is not considered ready to marry until he can make a great pilaf (which is very different than US "pilaf".) Greg had an oopsie making it - he was shaking cayenne pepper into it when the lid fell off! He scooped out as much as possible, but it was still VERY spicy. The kids all loved it anyway.
We then had traditional Norwegian rice pudding with an almond in it. The person who got the nut got to open a family present - "Scene It", the new Disney version. It's been a long-standing tradition in our family (but was tapioca) and it was only just recently (last year) that I learned that it came from our Scandinavian ancestry and is still a tradition there . . . cool.
For Christmas Day, we cooked a turkey and had other quick, snacky foods. I did make some bread again, with our fabulously easy recipe. That's it!
Our Christmas letter
A is for Africa, adoption, and attorneys (many of them this year)
B is for being blamed for B's bad behavior (as if his choices were our fault!), baba's (as in no more for the 3 yo), Bella (the kitten born in June), blogs (the good, the bad and the ugly – here's the good one - no names on this one, the bad is the paid one I quit and the ugly is shut down 'cause I was stupid and used real names, which was then used to hurt us), bus (what dh takes to work now), baptism
C is for Charity, camping, canning, chickens, covenants (what keeps us moving forward when heck is raging around us) and Christ (who strengthens us far beyond our natural abilities)
D is for debt (which we are almost completely out of), dating up a storm (which ds-18 has been doing), and drought (again!)
E is for eternity (how long it feels like we've been fighting for the girls in Africa, how long we're willing to fight – and how long we'll be a family), England (where A is still on his LDS mission), and Ebony (the bunny)
F is for Faith, forgiveness (a lot harder for “big things” than I thought), food storage (LOTS of it!), fussiness (lots of that too, in the new baby) and friends (thank goodness we have so many!)
G is for graduating early (M will do that in the spring with his Associate's degree), garden (a big one) and gardeners (dh and I took the Master Gardener class together)
H is for Hope, hydranencephaly (the new baby's diagnosis), hottest summer on record (no air conditioning!), Hyundai (the new little car that Holly gets to drive), Hawaii (where K went with her BFF)
I is for ice cream (homemade!),
J is for junior high, judge, jury and jerks (the folks who don't look at the whole picture and decide to act as judge, jury and executioners without even meeting us)
K is for kisses and kittens (5 of them born in June),
L is for lay-offs (from Novell) and LDS church (where dh is now working in the family history department)
M is for Midnight, our mama kitty who is now missing, milk allergies, midwifing and Mt. Dew (sadly, what I live on due to lack of sleep!)
N is for Novell no more, Never a dull moment and nshima (the staple food of Zambia)
O is for operations – 2 this year (a “release” so ds13 can bend his knees and a shunt for the newest one) and odometer (the van went past 200,000 and the bus went past 300,000)
P is for politics (that I am still involved in) and Papa Murphy's Pizza (where dd worked from January to September)
Q is for quiet (or the lack thereof)
R is for room mom (third year in a row),
S is for sleep – the definite lack thereof, soccer, shunt, Shadow (our older cat), school (where all the kids are now except for two, ages 3 and 6 months) and sewing (what I do a lot of this time of year)
T is for teeth, (the ones that fell out), totaled (what happened to the little car), thumb (what replaced the babas for the three-year old ), Tweety (The Magpie that joined us for a few weeks and learned to talk), temple (where I try to go every week) and testimonies (stronger than ever),
U is for UVSC (aka UVU), UCAS and unusually difficult (what this year has been, even for us).
V is for vacation – a quick, short one and variety (something our family is never without)
W is for Washington, where we went for a family reunion and wondering “why” all this bad stuff happens to us
X is for xenophobia (fear of aliens – OK, doesn't really apply, but we couldn't think of anything us. If it were going to apply, however, it would be K who had this – she hates anything different.)
Y is for yippee, this year is over! It's also for yahoo (where our email addies are
Z is for Zambia (where we spent 8 weeks and adopted three little girls who are, sadly, still there)
Happy Birthday
to some one I admire and respect more than words can say - the Prophet Joseph Smith was born on this day over 200 years ago. Here's a brief quote from him:It is a time-honored adage that love begets love. Let us pour forth love—show forth our kindness unto all mankind, and the Lord will reward us with everlasting increase; cast our bread upon the waters and we shall receive it after many days, increased to a hundredfold.
Have a good night - I'm going to put my sick self to bed (think a string of nights with only 3 hours of sleep had anything to do with that . . . ?!)
Happy birthday to me
So today was my birthday but I seem to have gotten mostly lost in the shuffle. I wrote my birthday list and decided to share it with all you lucky people:*a long, hot bath with a great book
*a long massage
*a pedicure
*a manicure, with fake nails
*a new, attractive hair-do
*GREAT food with fabulous chocolate something-or-other
*a clean house
*my 3 girls in Africa
Bwahahahaha, heeheehee, hahaha - phew! Now I'll pick myself up off the floor from laughing so hard and get back to the frenetic, chaotic life that is mine.
About Me
My Profile
Archives
Friends
My Photo Album
Links
Categories
AdoptionAfrica
Family doings
Food storage
Heart musings
Hot button topics!
Our favorite recipes
Self-Sufficient Living
Recent Entries
Back from Africa!Remembering Gordon B Hinckley
Is winter done yet?
Some sewing fun
Moving update
Friends
smmagersmorningsunshine
panshrmu
lerdman4
blessedmomof10
lbjpmommy
browns71280
Southernangel
oldfashionedgirl