A disturbing phone call from mom....

Posted on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 07:37

I want to preface by saying that I love my mother.  I love all of my family.  My mother, my sister, nor my brother agree with our lifestyle.  We don't usually argue over it, we just all know that they think we are fanatics.  Having said that, my mom every once in a while has to let me know what she thinks.  Lastnight was her night.  She told me how incredibly unfair it was that I am deciding my children's future.  She is referring to my girls and the fact that I don't push college.  She hates the whole homeschooling thing and the fact that I don't encourage them to go to college just pushes her over the edge.  She wants them to be like everybody else.  That is the last thing I want.  I don't want my 16 yr. old girl to be like girls today or like I was at 16.  I don't push college because if God leads them to have a family then years of college are just wasted.  We firmly believe that a wife is to be the keeper at home.  All that to say, we are not anti girls and college.  My girls may take some classes in areas that they are interested or the Lord may clearly show that they will need a college education for something in their lives.  They may end up being a missionaries wife and need some type of linguistics, etc.  We just do not know yet, as God is still leading.  As for my son, we firmly believe he will have to provide for a family if God provides one.  Therefore, he will need a sound college education or training in the area he will be going into.

I can not understand why people can not look at 3 children who love the Lord, love their family, are very respectful and obedient, and not think we could possibly be doing something right.  It boggles my mind.  The funny thing is my dad, who is as lost as the day is long, looks at my children in awe.  He thinks by the standards of todays children that these are the best.

Have a great day,

Trixi

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Posted by Anonymous on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 08:03 - Link

By what you've said you were not raised as you have choosen to live, what if your girls decide the same thing? And even if your girls decide to follow in your footsteps and become wives and mothers and choose to homeschool, wouldn't you want them to know enough to keep up with the changing world and be able to teach their children correctly. I agree with you on most everything you've said, but to say that a college education is wasted, is not right. Do you know how many kids would love to have a college education buy can't for one reason or another? Well this is just my opion I hope I havn't offended you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You have not offended me. I hope that what ever my girls do choose that I respect their decisions. Especially, if they see it by Faith. Which is the only thing that I am asking for. I don't know if wasted is the right wording. It's more that I have this education and it does not help me in the least with my job here in my home. I would have benefitted more from some other type of training.
Trixi

Edited by homesteadinthemaking on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 08:22

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Posted by Sara on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 08:23 - Link

I'm a little new to this, but here's my two cents. Although I do agree with you that I also pray that my daughters choose to do their God given duty as keepers at home, I have to say that I don't think that if they did choose to get a college education that it would be wasted. I think it would only add to the person that they are, even as keepers of their home. I will say that if they do choose to go to college, I will ask that they go to a local college so that they may still live at home with us until such time that they move into a home with their husband. I think you are doing a wonderful job raising your children and I understand the issues of other famillies not understanding your different lifestyle. My response to those that disagree is...Is it hurting you? Is it effecting your life? Did I ask your opinion? A little rude, some may say, but as long as I am not hurting my children or what I do is not effecting others then I don't worry about it.

Blessings to you,
Sara

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Posted by HandsNHearts on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 08:28 - Link

Are you sure we aren't actually sisters???? My mother and family is the same way. For the most part, it's benign, and everyone has a sort of understanding: they aren't going to change our minds, and we aren't going to turn their children into models of our own (on purpose at least).
But, then, we have those same days where someone gets their knickers in a bunch and feels the need to let us know, yet again, where we have faltered in our child raising, where we have gone over the edge with this "bible thumping lifestyle" and of course, where we have totally ruined our children's lives by moving them into 'seclusion' in the midst of nowhere and tortured them with homeschooling and church studies. Boggles the mind...I do agree with you.

Know what -- Boggle was one of my favorite games growing up :o) And we play it often with school :o)

Chin up...it's a seasonal thing :o) Once they spill their thoughts on the matter and fester a few days, it will go away for another while and life will resume as normal again (well, as normal as it can be for us freaks and social misfits!)
Deanna

Mine was!

Posted by Jonash2004 on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 11:32 - Link

I know there are people who say that a college education can't be wasted, but mine was. I spent 4.5 years getting a Liberal Arts degree. I don't know of a single thing I learned that is helping me be a wife and mom. Maybe there are 2yr degrees that you can get and then use them in being a helpmeet, but I sure took the wrong classes! And all a AA degree does is qualify me to flip burgers and work retail.

Oh, but if anyone asks I can say I went to college and therefore, of course, I'm slightly more qualified to teach my own children. LOL

I'm not anti-college, either. It's a tool. If you are into photography, take photography classes. IF you want a degree, go for it.

Going to college for the sake of getting a degree 'in case something happens' as I was pushed to do .... I feel like I accomplished zilch. My degree means nothing; liberal arts degrees are a dime a dozen.

*shrugs*

Just my two cents!
Ashley

Oh, my dh has a 4yr degree in engineering. Then his work place taught him everything he needs to know. He asked what on earth he went to school for if none of it was going to be used - he was told that his degree means he is teachable - and his GPA is how well he learns. Deep, huh? LOL :)

Hi

Posted by TheGoodLife on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 11:47 - Link

Hi Trixi

How my husband & I are looking at it - is both kids ds & dd have to get something be it via college or a trade.

We see the world as changing & I can actually see our son being the stay at home dad - doing part time work with his hands while the wife works.

For dd I would love her to be a kept woman like I am but I also want her to be prepared for life - eg a death or injury of her dh -

We want both kids to be able to support themselves & their family if someone else can't.

We also have a family trust in place so no partners will have legal rights -it is a family trust only not spouse.

I too would like them to study from home or close - otherwise board rather than flat.

Plus we are teaching them now about money & they are planning for further education to attend it debt free - Lainey's letters really sparked this one.

Just our view on all this. Not saying I am right just sharing.

With love Leanne

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Posted by gokings13 on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 02:33 - Link

What if THIS was posted?

As a child of the 60's I am choosing to expose my kids to pot and lsd in the privacy of our own home. I think that is what is best for my girls, that they experiment with drugs, with me at home. I have done them, so I want to expose my kids to them so "they can decide". Then I give 40 / 11 reasons why I think it's a great idea to let them try alcohol in my home. I don't have to worry about drinking and driving or if they pass out, I can roll them over so they do not aspirate their vomit. I have been drunk, so I want to expose my kids to alcohol so "they can decide". I can then tell you why my girls will go on birth control pills the moment I think they are getting ready to start their periods. I will get them the HPV shot and buy them condoms for safe sex. I will give you 40 / 11 reasons why this is the smartest way to do things for my girls. I didn't wait till I was married, so I will let them experiment so "they can decide"

Any level headed person would look at that post and say OH NO ARE YOU KIDDING---THIS IS CHILD ABUSE!! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!! THIS IS WRONG!!

But this is exactly what the world is advocating in a 'watered down, sweeter packaged, sugar coated' way.......via the public and private school systems. Via colleges. Via tv / magazines /internet. Via peer pressure. Via our churches.

YOU stick to your guns Miss Trixi!! It is you who will stand before God and give an account----not they. He is your guide, and HE is NEVER wrong!

Praise God for your 'stick to it-ness!!' :-)
Laura

I

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Posted by TheWedhornFamily on Friday, November 9, 2007 at 03:12 - Link

Hi Miss Trixie,
Sorry Mom I will have to agree with you.my children are grown but my grandchildren attend public schools.If it were my decision they would be homeschooled too:) I help at their school and my interview consisted of being told whatever I saw at that school stayed at that school no matter what it was....Well, I got to wondering about that..Why would a school decide to keep things hush hush and away from other parents? It made me wonder just what does go on in public schools that we never hear about? So... I agree with you! Your babies are better off in your care than a system who hides things:)

Boy Trixi, you know how to get things stirred up !!!!

Posted by patintenn on Saturday, November 10, 2007 at 12:31 - Link

I have read all of the comments here so far. Here is my comment:

I too, at first, had to listen to things like this. Then my oldest graduated from high school, homeschool that is.

I teach each one of my daughters here at home, as if they are heading to college. If they do great, if they don't, great also. But they will have had the college prep high school courses here at home.

My oldest one, she did so-so on the ACT, she is not a great test taker. But she chose to go to college, here at the local 2 yr state college, where my husband has worked for over 27 yrs. I have a degree from this same college. We all prayed about her going to college, she feels confident that this is where the Lord has led her to go. It has been proven to be blessed by God, in the way that so far her schooling has been FREE . Even textbooks and computer software needed for her courses. God is blessing her and us (the parents) with this education. Will she ever use it? Only God knows her future. Is it wasted? ( I do understand how you were using this word,), some may ask, No, education at any level is not wasted. Will she graduate with a degree? Once again, only God knows, if He will have her to finish. But for this time in her life, she is moving in the direction, which in all acounts, appears to have God's blessing on it. She is working part-time at a daycare here in our small town She is loving it. It has nothing to do with the college classes she is working on. She chose an area of study that if needed, once she is married and has a family (if this is what God has for her), then she could work from home, with a small business of her own.

Now, my middle dd, she only wants to be homemaker. She has thoughts of maybe using her baking skills for a living if she needs to. She has plans to go to this same college for some classes in this area. She is only 13 and there is still time for all of this.

Now, on the other hand, my sister, who also lives in a small town around here, had to leave work in the middle of the day, because her daughter called her with her cell phone, scared to death, because the police were "walking" the halls that day, incase "gang" activity picked up. They had locked all the classroom's doors and she was so scared, she was getting sick to her stomach. My sister kept both of her daughters home from school for the rest of the week. Wasted education? What do your family members think of that? They received no education for 2 1/2 days because of gang activites.

They just don't see what we see. I do not judge those who do not homeschool. But I do ask that they don't judge me either.

We are doing what is right for our family, not theirs.

Hang in there.
Pat

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