Dating for our teenagers....To date or not to date.

Posted on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 at 05:34

I got this topic from a question posed by JennIg.  It's a very interesting question and I have been eagerly awaiting her to post her way of doing it.  Well, this is our thoughts on the matter.  First, let me say our oldest is 16, so we are just now getting to the point where we are having people ask what we are doing.  Dh and I both came out of the whole dating era.  Praise God, He can redeem even us.  We have regrets on top of regrets.  We were wild and I look back and think, oh I wish someone had loved us enough to even consider that we might regret some of these mini divorces (I love that wording).  Thankfully, God brought Dh and I together, and we later found the Lord and here we are.  This leads us to our philosophy on dating.  Let me start by saying we work extremely hard on living and breathing God's Word.  That means when you look at a topic like dating you must go to God's Word for authority on dating.  What does He say about dating, marriage, sons, and daughters?  This is what we have found thus far...Let me say we are not experts on this, it's just what we have seen thus far.  Romans 14:23 says that anything done without faith is sin.  That is powerful in the aspect that you can have a no dating philosophy and not be doing it by faith and it will be sin.  God will not bless it!  So we see from God's word that our children are not to be out dating every boy or girl that they see to be physically appealing.  On the contrary, Numbers 30:3-8 says that our daughter's are accountable to their father while in his home.  We also see that they are to be at home until marriage.  Prov. 18:22 says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing.  That leads us to know that our girls should not be out hunting, as they are to be the ones found.  We feel like for our girls that instead of spending their teen years chasing boys they should be preparing to be a Prov. 31 wife.  As for our son, he will have to be the one finding a wife.  This does not mean that he will be out trying on different hats but he will need to decide what he will find appealing in a wife and be looking for those characteristics.  He will also need to be preparing himself to support a family.  In the last couple of years we have seen these thoughts carried out in several other families and it is an incredibly sweet thing.  We have seen more than one young couple getting married, that their wedding kiss was their first kiss.  In today's world that is an amazingly sweet thing.  We are praying this kind of purity for our children, as well.

I find it ironic, that so many people can have horrible regrets regarding their teen years and dating and so forth, but nevertheless, we are criticized for wanting to spare our children from some of that ungodliness.  I challenge you to look to God as your authority on this topic and everything else.

Blessings,

Trixi

well said~!

Posted by blessedmomof10 on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 at 10:30 - Link

Great post, trixi! My husband and I have talked long about this topic........ the kids know how we feel too..... exactly as you do! We are training our sons to be providers --- we want them to have skills to be able to provide for a wife and family when it's time.... so many boys get married and have their wife working on on BC because that's just what you do in society..... but we have taught our 14 yr old son that when you feel the Lord is calling you to marry then that means fatherhood too.........

We also feel the need to prepare our girls for marriage and keeping a home ........ so few girls these days know how to cook!
Just the other night I attend a reception - the bride was very young -- 18 yrs old ( we also don't encourage our kids to marry too young) and she does not know anything about domestic responsibilities. I wonder where was her mother all these years??????

It's wonderful to know that there are others raising their children and preparing them to be stewards of their families and wives and mothers.......

keep up the good fight!

Gloria

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Posted by HandsNHearts on Monday, November 5, 2007 at 11:41 - Link

What more can I add? I totally agree with you and Gloria here :o)

Of course, I say that, having taught my children that all along, and still had to watch my 21 year old move out and live with his girlfriend a couple months back :o( I pray over what steps I took along his path that might have been "off" a bit so we can avoid the same path with the other children, but I also pray daily that he was raised under The Word enough, that he knows...and I have the promises of The Lord that His Word never *ever* returns void. It is there, perhaps being smothered by the world, but it is there, in my son's heart, just waiting for the day to come out and take an active role in his life once again.

Deanna

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