Perplexing question and thought...

Posted on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 04:08

We live a simple life.  We feel the great need to protect our children from the world in these perilous times.  However, when is protection too much?  This is our situation and scenerio....

We live about 15 minutes outside of town on 10 acres.  Everyone around us has atleast 50 acres.  Ok, down the dirt road about 1/2 a mile lives a family who have a little boy my son's age...The family is rough around the edges.  The family is a split family with 3 children at home.  2 of which are the mom's and one is the stepfather's.  I hope this is all making sense.  The stepdad is loud, boisterous, and all in all very rough.  He says he was saved about a year ago but I do know that he still drinks.  However, we all see things at different times.  Anyway, this little boy comes down to play with my son some.  We have boundaries set up that when he is here either I, my husband or oldest DD is outside listening and watching.  We have neighbors whose land  immediately joins our land, who also have a son my son's age... They have told their son when this little boy is at our house he can not come over or even speak to this little boy.  The reasoning is that he comes from a "bad" home.  I have trully been perplexed by this.  I do want to protect my children to the upmost.  However, when do we apply.. You shall love the Lord your God with all your hear, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength."  " The second is this, ' You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'  There is no other commandment greater than these." Mark 12:30-31  He doesn't say just when they are "good" neighbors.  My other one is.... Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.  The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:7-8  I want my children to know and love God.  That means they have to love God's people, good or bad.  I also will tell you this little boy is very sweet and well mannered.  If I tell him to do or not to do something he always obeys me.  Anyway, this is my delimma and I would love to know how you would handle this situation.

And one last thought, If we are say stand offish to people, why would they then want to be Christians?  There again I am not saying throw our children out to the world.  I'm just saying how are we to show true Christianity, love of God, to others?

Blessings,

Trixi

Similar Situation

Posted by GoofyMamma on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 05:09 - Link

Ok we don't live on 10 acres (though we are looking too lol) but we have a daughter who has a friend across the street. They have known each other for 8 years. She is 14 and my daughter is 13. Their family isn't saved but we have tried being a light to them. Now when the friend comes over I've flat told her what we will and will not put up with. She is so welcome to come over as long as she remains respective of our rules. We are like you. The door to the room remains open. We keep an eye and ear out. Plus my daughter would tell me if she was doing or saying something that goes against what we believe or approve of.(at least I hope so lol) We have home church and last weekend she spent the night and then had church with us. I know in her heart she is a great kid. She just needs the Lord. So I say lay down the rules, continue to be a light, and unless you start seeing some negative effects on your son then let them play or hang or whatever they do. Oh my daughter NEVER goes over their house though. That's a big rule in our house. That's where we put the foot down. Invite him to church. My parents got saved through my older brother getting saved. Well I hope this helps.
God Bless,
Kim

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't worry we rarely let any of our children go to anyone's house alone. We have a handful of likeminded friends who they visit with but that is it. He would never be allowed over to this child's house.
Trixi

Edited by homesteadinthemaking on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 09:47

Hmmmm

Posted by imspecl on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 05:21 - Link

Well, in my experience, you are doing what you need to do in a positive way. My daughter isn't the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to friends and her best friend and family is something to be desired. Now my daughter is no saint by any means. She's 17 and on adult probation. She's been to jail twice and placed on an electronic monitor. She made poor decisions and is easily influenced by others (namely her "friend" and her family) to make those bad choices. All in all she's a good kid when she wants although she chooses not to exercise her relgion. As a mother, I would be greatful if another parent welcomed my daughter into their home along with whatever guidlines/rules that parent felt necessary. Her friend's mother doesn't have rules for them, allows them to smoke with her at her kitchen table and go where ever/whenever they want. With the help of the probation officer and the ankle tracking device, we've been able to put a huge curb on how much time is spent over there. The friend is allowed into my home but like you I have rules and expectations when she's there. My vote is you're doing what God would expect us to. Open our hearts, minds and homes and make an effort to guide those who need it.

<i>Untitled Comment</i>

Posted by gokings13 on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 06:35 - Link

I was that bad kid.
I came from a home where the was no God. No rules, no respect. Unsupervised most of the time, I did as I pleased.

My neighbors were the Wilson's. Don, Donna, Donnie, Danny, and Deanna. They invited me into their home. They took me to church. They took me to VBS. They had rules, and when I was on their property, I had to follow them. And I did. I loved the structure. I loved the attention. These people showed me Jesus. I firmly believe that this family planted the seeds when I was 9-13, that grew into my Salvation at 33.
I didn't act up at their house. I didn't disobey at their house. I didn't break stuff, steal stuff from their house.
I did every where else though.........so I am SURE that the Wilson's heard the same thing : "when that laura child is there sally cannot come over".
That didn't stop them.
Thank you Jesus for the Wilsons.
Laura

~~~~~~~~********~~~~~~~~~
Oh, Laura, if I was not convinced that we need to be a light before now I am. I too was the bad girl and I didn't have a Wilson family. I ended up getting married at 17 to get out of my mom's house and having a baby 13 months later. When my daughter was about 2 my husband and I were on the brink of divorce and shortly after both got saved. Thank you Jesus. We are now strong in the Lord and our marriage. I wish it could have been at an earlier age.
Trixi

Edited by homesteadinthemaking on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 09:50

Untitled Comment

Posted by mc2rwe on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 06:59 - Link

Trixi,

As I was reading your post a certain scripture kept coming to mind. 1 Pet 1:9 But ye are a chose generation, a royal priesthood. An holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light:

The definition of peculiar is as follows: Peculiar - 1 : characteristic of only one person, group, or thing : DISTINCTIVE 2 : different from the usual or normal: a : SPECIAL, PARTICULAR b : ODD, CURIOUS


We as Christians are not like the rest of the world. We are special and distinctive. Praise the Lord! In my honest opinion, you are doing everything that the Lord has instructed you to do. You are not hurting your son by letting him play with this little boy… you are teaching him to be charitable and good. For you to know that the father was saved last year means that talking about the Lord has come up in conversation. Maybe God is using you to help this family draw nigh to Him. As for the other family who will not allow their son to play with your son if the boy is around… well I am going to assume that they are Christians also that is why they have put these restrictions on their boy. I honestly feel that this is the family to pray for. We as parents want to protect our children from bad but we inadvertently cause them to sin sometimes. By not showing mercy, love and charity. I personally, would never want to stand before God and have to answer to Him about costing another person their salvation. Maybe you are being used to remind the other family about true Christianity. So if your son playing with the little boy causes problems, rest assured that you are doing the right thing. You are planting a seed in this little one that he will more then likely never forget. Remember that God’s timing is not our own… you may never know that this little boy could grow up to be a mighty warrior in God’s army.

Kat

little boy

Posted by Anonymous on Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 08:05 - Link

I think you are doing right by being good to the little boy. He will remember it long after others have forgotten. You and your family may be a very bright spot in what could be a dismal life. Pray for the family and the little boy. Pray for the ones who think they should stay away from the little boy. God would not want them to do that from what I have read and understand in the bible. We are suppose to be a light to the world.

Untitled Comment

Posted by meme21713 on Thursday, May 17, 2007 at 10:23 - Link

What I would say, has already been said...I would add for the time being, just stay close and watch what is going on...Having the boy there may just bring the family over at some point for you to witness to...Even if they are saved, some love being showed goes a long way with NEW christians...Praying for direction to this delimma...Debbie

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