I need advice.....

Posted on Wednesday, January 31, 2007 at 09:52

I didn't know if I should blog about this or not, when in doubt...blog.LOL 

First, I want to say that we will be thoroughly searching the scriptures and God on this matter.  However, I would love some Godly counsel, as well.  I am going to be very vague....  My youngest son has been slandered by a cousin who lives states away.  They are both children and my in laws are kind of siding with the other grandchild.  We are not quite sure what the deal is here.  We do know that we are judged harshly for our beliefs and stand.  We have found that when you see something in the Word and then do It, that you are judged.  The biggest issue here is character and slander.  Our children's and our character is very important in this house.  We do not take slander lightly.  Our initial reaction is that we can no longer have fellowship with this family.  I just don't know that this is Biblical.  We are struggling here.  My DH is going to go and talk with one of our elders on this subject tomorrow.  This is devastating for our family. 

Blessings,

Trixi

Oh how hard!

Posted by mulberrylane on Wednesday, January 31, 2007 at 10:16 - Link

Trixi, I'm not sure what to say. I have never really studied the situation out as far as so specifically. There is a text about not having friends with the ungodly, but in context the verse means... not to take counsel from... and that makes sense, because Jesus was friendly to all, those he knew that would betray Him and those who would stick by His side. But it would be wise in my opinion to not have such a friendship that the influence was negative on your family.
I have family that is not living as we would and they also would not live as we are. But I still see them, I still visit them. But, visits are probably less often and less ummm relaxed... we don't often just let it all hang out, if you know what I mean... conversation is guarded on both sides, but in recent years, I've seen some neat things... relatives that wouldn't talk religion are now asking questions and now feeling free to discuss "topics" even. God is so good. I pray that He leads you to an answer that ultimately brings Glory to Him and is something that you all can be comforted with.
Warmly, ~Melissa

no real answer

Posted by countrydreamn on Wednesday, January 31, 2007 at 10:57 - Link

But wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you and your family Tirxie.

Blessings,
Debi

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Posted by mcgyver959701 on Wednesday, January 31, 2007 at 11:44 - Link

Hello Trixi,
I have been in a sitation with my parents, that made my kids and I both really uncomfortable. They didn't like the fact that we homeschool. And I was asked not to attend my sisters wedding reception, do to this fact. We were given instruction on how to leave the wedding, etc. I found that prayer handled this very well. Of course, I'm leaving out alot of detail here. My parents and siblings were ashame of my family and I.
So I got a prayer line going and God took care of the matter. It wasn't really what I was expecting, but HE knows how to handle these things. And my parents and siblings no longer speak to me or acknowledge that my family exist.
I will be praying for you and your family.
Lynn

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Posted by gokings13 on Thursday, February 1, 2007 at 04:55 - Link

Romans 12:18 KJV
18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
(( I appreciate that the Lord says "IF it be possible"))

1 Corinthians 2:9-10 KJV
9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.
10 But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.

2 Corinthians 6:14-7:1
14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.
18 And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
((2 Corinthians 7:1)) Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

Matthew 10:32-42
32 Whosoever therefore shall confess me before men, him will I confess also before my Father which is in heaven.
33 But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.
38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.
40 He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me.
41 He that receiveth a prophet in the name of a prophet shall receive a prophet's reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man in the name of a righteous man shall receive a righteous man's reward.
42 And whosoever shall give to drink unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall in no wise lose his reward.

Trixi: I understand where you are coming from. *In my personal experience* when someone one 'attacks my children' I come up with my dukes up!! As I grow older, I am finding that 90% of the "dukes up" is my pride. *I* am offended that someone would "imply" that *I* am not mother enough to teach them any better!! The other 10% is "genuine" slander. To which I truly have no control over! That stinks!!
We have "disconnected" from some of our family because we felt that "being yoked to them" was not in the best interest of all. It is where God lead us. Maybe some day things will change? Maybe not. But for now, separation is what is best in our situation!!
I would love to hear the feed back from the elders of your church! I do hope you will share!!
Laura

Hope

Posted by MamaDuke on Friday, February 2, 2007 at 10:19 - Link

I believe in the Bible it states that if you have a problem with someone, that you should address the problem with the person directly - work it out, figure out what's wrong and try to deal with the situation. If that does not clear it up, then seek counsel/intervention from the church.

From personal experience, I have attempted this route with my own family members. And, when it was not able to be resolved, I cut the ties with that family member.

Hopefully over time, the wounds will heal, perceptions may change and people may forgive or come to a new understanding - not in all cases, though.

As in all things, pray for those that persecute you that they may open their eyes to the wisdom of God. God will lead you in the direction you should follow. He won't lead you astray (but, of course, you already know that!)

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Posted by meme21713 on Monday, February 5, 2007 at 10:20 - Link

I really do not know what to say since I have not been in such a situation..With a friend I have and for several years we went our seperate ways, but you know that the Lord sent us back together just at the time we needed the love and a shoulder of a friend..This has happened several times...So I will pray for the Lord's will and for a peace of mind for you and your family..It will all work out for the best, you know that already, don't you? lol...Praying for showers of blessings to you...Debbie

Edited by meme21713 on Monday, February 5, 2007 at 11:21

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