I have a baby shower luncheon to attend this weekend in Atlanta, meaning, I must purchase a gift to take – kind of like swapping lunch for a gift (…what a concept, huh?).
But it’s a family baby – so that in and of itself is a good thing.
Recently, IÂ’ve noticed that the baby gift selections locally, leave a bit for want. So I knew I would have to make the trek into Augusta to shop for this gala event.
Yesterday was the day that I would venture out into the world – leaving the dirt road.
Up and out I went – me with the Dixie Chicks accompanying me – no traffic, ease of parking and was able to assemble a great gift for “Baby” in no time at all.
Little did I know the greater challenge would be found in trying to find something new and “fresh” for me to wear to this luncheon event. I really didn’t want to wear my best friend: Black, black and black, again.
YÂ’all.
Help me, please.
I know IÂ’ve been in seclusion here on the dirt road, but we do have cable (er, I mean The Dish) and I have to tell you, America is in the midst of a fashion crisis. What on earth are women thinking buying this stuff that the stores have hanging on racks claiming to be fashion? What happened to normal clothes for normal 44 year old mommas who need to COVER their bodies and yet look like theyÂ’re in the year 2006? And no matter what store I went in, they had the same merchandise; I believe this to be a government conspiracy of magnamus proportionsÂ…Â…Â…Â…
In the event I were the size and shape of a stick, here were some of my choices:
Those slips you wear on the outside of your clothes.
Camouflage CapriÂ’s with some ribbon up the side.
Three Musketeer blouses.
And if that wasn’t enough – all the other tops and blouses come with this extra part that must be tied up under your bosom line…………well, that bow would well be lost between the bosom-line and my now midriff tire just beneath it (kinda like a built-in flotation device)………..what would be the point of the bow?
Then there were the business/church suits for women – now sporting gauchos or Capri’s.
Yep, you read that right and I wasnÂ’t going near that!
Then I saw them. Leopard print pants.
I think I must be spending way too much time with my cats, because I wanted them. They were to die for! I even went so far as to try them on. Can't you just imagine a homeschooling version of Zsa-Zsa?
That was quite a sight, let me tell you. Good thing I didnÂ’t have an I-POD in the dressing room with me like that TV commercial ~ my dressing booth may have collapsed.
I just wish you could have seen the looks on the faces of the men in my house when I later told them that I tried on leopard print pants. It was that look again.
But since I refused to go UP in size and had exhausted all shopping possibilities, I came home empty handed and will have to wrestle in my closet all afternoon for a fresh new version of black, black and black.
No Zsa-Zsa.
Meanwhile, IÂ’ve decided that when I lose the 50 pounds I plan to lose to attend the Ballerina Reunion next October, IÂ’ll be wearing leopard print pants when I arrive. Zsa-Zsa Ballerina!
Woo Hoo!
Happy Friday, YÂ’all! Have a great weekend!
Harriette
| 
Posted by 
Posted by 
Recent Posts
From the Book Shelf
News Sources
February 24, 2006 - Leopard!
I have the same problem with clothes. I'm too big (and too old) for the off-the-rack stuff in most stores and not quite big enough for Lane Bryant (and their clothes are aiming at younger women these days, too). Fortunately I have lovely relatives that can afford to shop at the better stores and catalogs, which still seem to notice that classy women of a certain age still exist. Expensive these places, though. I'm the benefactor when my cousins get tired of their great purchases and pass them on to me. I can't think when I last bought something for myself.