You know the real flip flops?

Not thongs (the ones you wear on your feet  -  let’s keep it clean around here…)

And not “shower shoes” (that’s what the military issues…).

And not all these wannabe flip flops either – with flowers and thing-a-ma-bobs accented all over them – not to mention how heavy some of these sandal type flops are – you could easily have a Charlie horse scuffing around in some of those things, maybe even anchor a boat!  But besides, those sandal flops don’t really flip flop – they scuff-along.

I’m talking about the foam rubber, color on the bottom – white on the top Flip Flops that were nearly the act of going bare foot only without stone bruises and stickers in the bottom of your feet.  Remember?  They’re the ones we all bought every summer at the dime store or the local Revco/Super X/Wool Worth’s the very minute you arrived at the beach with your family to stay in the aqua blue concrete block motel for a week’s worth of sand in your bathing suit known as a  family vacation.

Apparently, when condo’s hit the scene – real flip flops left it!

I remember the thrill of all the colors – the colors looked like flavors – so many to choose from – like Kool Aid and Pixie Sticks – or better yet: Chiclets.  Yellow flip flops were my favorite color to wear!!  And even better, that one pair would last the entire summer – barring any blowouts (…a blowout being when you were running too fast trying to catch up to somewhere and one of the rubber stoppers came up through the hole where it had been factory-punched through….); a blowout was tragic.  It also usually meant you ended up with a stumped toe (or two…) along with the blowout and the premature end of that summer’s flip flops.  If you managed to avoid a blowout – that summer’s pair of flip flops would be perfect by Labor Day – all fitted to the form of your foot – and usually, I would always have “white straps” on my feet from the summer sun tanning my feet  - like bathing suit tan lines.

Right now, I have only one pair that I’ve managed to cling to – but I doubt they’ll last all summer since last year, my son’s black Lab mistook one of them for a chew toy.  I think I may have paid a great sum of $2.00 for them a couple of summers back.

But do you have any idea how hard REAL flip flops are to find?

A couple of nights ago, I thought to myself, “Surely, I can buy dime store flip flops over the Internet…………”

In this the year of 2006, one would only think so.

Well, yeah – if I purchase a case of 5,000 pairs……..

In size 10………

And black.

YUK!

Whoever heard of licorice flip flops?

And what one store or human being would need 5,000 pair of size 10, licorice flip flops – unless a person was planning to hot glue them as picture frames or string them together with fishing line to make wind chimes sold out of the back of their pick up truck at interstate exits!

Would you believe that there is a FlipFlop.com?  Of course there is – but they don’t sell real flip flops………..do they really think I’m willing to pay $20.00 or more for a pair of wannabe flip flops?  And even some of the $7.00 ones didn’t have the Kool Aid colors (sigh).

It gets better.

If you’re a Greek – as in a sorority or fraternity Greek – well, you and your cohorts can Greekasize - as in customize - flip flops at $12.50 a pop.  Gosh, when I was in college all there was in Alpha, Beta, Chi, Delta, Gamma, Kappa, Phi, Sigma, Zeta – whatevA - was just sweatshirts and tumblers!

Then there were the flip flops from Hawaii – I thought perhaps I was getting warm – but no – not only were they $11.50 and up, one would have to take into consideration shipping from, well, Hawaii.  Then there would be the whole inspection possibility, too.  The USDA would want to probably know if there were any plant cells or Hawaiian agricultural animal poo dust somehow imbedded in the sole of my flip flops.  They might even want to GPS chip my little rubber flipper floppers so they could trace all my footsteps via satellite.

But the most amazing new trend in flip flop fashion is the “Just Married” flip flops for both bride and groom………..I kid you not.  See for yourself.

But all of this research, while insightful, was not helping me in my quest for plain Chiclets flip flops.

[Very big sigh.]

Had I seen the last of the real flip flop?

I finally gave up on surfing the World Wide Web for what seemed now historical summer wear.

Friday arrived and the grueling task of grocery shopping was hanging over me; I finally got it together and off I went to the Super Wally-Mart in our neighboring town.  After hitting the to-do list prior to heading over to the grocery section, I thought I would check to see if, just by chance, any summer shoes had arrived for my shopping delight……….

And there they were………Real Flip Flops: all $1.94 worth.  And while they didn’t have all the Chiclets colors (no yellow) – I managed to claim four pairs for myself – you can see for yourself:

Now granted, they are slightly tropical (including a black and white pair that are NOT licorice – I call them “moonflower”) – but I can live with the 2006, $1.94 version of the original.

Here I was tryin’ to reinvent the wheel (…again..) when I shoulda known all along I could depend on good ol’ Wally.

Hope everyone has a blessed Easter and Orthodox Palm Sunday!

Harriette K. Jacobs

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