The sun was beating down on me, boy it was so hot, too hot to be climbing up these cliff paths I thought, but the view, oh the view was just amazing.  I paused for a moment and looked out across the bay.  The colour of the sea was a clear blue and looked amazing with the sun shining across the waters. How inviting the sea looked. I could see yachts and lots of them which seemed so small from where I was standing.  I could just about make out some surfers too and envied them some what, out there having fun without a care in the world.  I could really do with a swim to cool myself down if only for a short time.

I located a hankie from my bag and wiped my forehead before walking over to the bench and sinking down onto it.  I took out the bottle of water that was in my bag and had a long drink, I didn’t realise how thirsty I was but I had done quite a bit of walking and knew that it wouldn’t be long before I reached my destination. Another opportunity to stop and rest and I knew this quaint little tearoom where I could have lunch, nothing much but just a salad would be fine.  It was far too hot for anything else!  After lunch I could then wander down to the beach and go for that swim that I had by now promised myself and knew I needed before relaxing on the beach with the book I had with me.

Sitting here I found myself looking around me, taking in the beauty of the cliffs, the wonder of the sea and all the wild flowers which were all around me. What an awesome and wonderful God we have, to have created all this.  Just the sheer beauty all around, was so very precious. How could anyone not believe that You don’t exist I wondered. That You are alive.  You created all this beautiful and idyllic scenery.  Sitting there I just drank in the sheer beauty of Your creation.

Looking at my watch, I knew I ought to be getting on but was I really in such a hurry to leave, no I decided, I could stay here a little while longer.  I reached into my bag and taking out my sketch pad I started to sketch the scene before me.  Taking in the ragged cliffs and the sea with the sun making ripples across the waters, my pencil was making remarkable work of the paper in front of me.  I missed out nothing, every little detail before me was put down on paper until finally I stopped and had a look at my work.  I had to admit that I was quite pleased with the result and noted that I had missed out nothing.  I had captured this beautiful piece of scenery before me on paper.  This was a piece of my Father’s creation that I had captured and I was so thankful that I had taken this opportunity to rest and therefore take time to capture this beauty on paper.  I was so thankful that The Lord had blessed me with the gift of being able to draw.  This was a gift that I didn’t think I had and was newly discovered just a few months previously.  I come from an artistic family and I remembered my father time and time again trying to encourage me to draw and trying to get me to draw straight lines which I couldn’t do when I was a child.  You see my father was very articulate and everything had to be drawn to detail and I think after awhile he gave up on me and I guess I also gave up on me for years after that.  So this was such a surprise when I discovered that I did have this wonderful gift after all. I also knew that The Lord knew the right time for this gift to be unwrapped!

I yawned and after taking another drink of water I got up and started making my way down the cliff path, at least the last couple of miles were mostly downhill and then I would reach my final destination.  Looking at my watch, I would still make it in time for lunch before heading down to the beach for my swim.  I could feel the water beckoning me already and trust me this would be most welcomed after the heat of the day.

This story is dedicated to a friend who is starting to become very dear to me. Her strength, courage and faith throughout her illness is amazing. She has a congenital (meaning born with) brain malformation.  It is called an Arnold Chiari Malformation-1.  This is something where you may go through your life without knowing that you have this, but can be brought on by a head injury in later life.

Staring out of the window onto a white blanket, everything was covered in this white soft blanket of snow.  The branches of the trees were bending as they were so heavily laden.  The fields below were transformed into a carpet of white so beautiful and elegant where not a hint of green showed.  Looking down onto the garden, the pond I could see was frozen solid.  Out of the corner of my eye I could see a squirrel scurrying across the lawn, its little footprints etched in the snow.  The scene before my eyes was just like something from a picture postcard – stunning!

I turned away from the window and slowly, very slowly made my way back to bed. Moving about was so painful but the scene outside was worth every step I undertook.

Each step was full of pain, every breath I took was difficult and even moving from the window to the bed took every bit of willpower I had, though it was just a few steps.  Finally, I sank back down onto the pillows and just lay there for a few moments before adjusting the covers.

I could hear the peels of laughter from my children downstairs and this made me smile to myself.  What a blessing my children are.  The eldest has had to grow up quite quickly and take on a lot of responsibility, responsibilities that I as a mother am unable to undertake at the moment.  Not once has she or my other two daughters complained; everything they do is done with love.  Even my youngest who at almost 3 is too young to understand what has happened to Mommy. She never whimpers but is so full of love and constantly comes and lies with me in bed. She even has her own little routine whenever she comes to see me! My girls, they are my three pinksJ.  

 My husband, another smile - The Lord could not have given me a more wonderful, loving and awesome husband.  His continued faith, his patience, his love, constant care and hard work are there for all to see, every day.

My eyes fill with tears when I think of my family, my awesome precious family that Our Father has given to me.  I am so very blessed and so thankful to Jesus for the many blessings he has bestowed upon me.  Even when times are tough, and boy, these times are many; my family are here for me and help me through no matter what!  Also Jesus, He has been my constant help and support especially through times when  I struggle to comprehend and I often question why! I have and never will give up on him; He is my rock, my fortress and my strength.

You see, several years ago I was involved terrible car crash where I suffered a severe closed head injury. Over a period of time my whole body became affected.  Speech, vision, gait, hearing, memory and severe headaches took place. There have been months spent in hospitals and several operations. Just when I believe I am on the mend, complications start up again.  

I know The Lord has allowed this to happen for a reason but not once have I ever questioned why. For me especially, The Lord has reminded me time and time again of the much bigger picture he has for me.  He has taught me many lessons, valuable ones at that.  Lessons I can pass on too not only my family, but, to friends and others that God has chosen to bring across my path. 

I need to be open to all the lessons that God is showing me through these times.  I also know that The Lord will end my suffering when He decides the time is right, and the time will come when my health will be restored one hundred fold!

It was cold outside, raining and miserable.  Boy, I was glad to be inside wrapped up warm besides a glowing fire.  I turned to the woodpile to add some more wood, watching the flames grab the wood hungrily until very soon, the fire was roaring again.  I pulled my cardigan tighter around me and just stared at the flames.  I sighed and turned away and made my way to the kitchen to get a cup of tea. 

When I walked in, mum was already there and had the kettle boiling on the aga cooker.  She didn’t see me at first as she silently went about adding cups and saucers to the tea tray.  Her shoulders hunched and her steps were slow, she looked so pale and drawn and I could tell she was trying so hard not to cry.  I walked up to her and gently wiped away a tear with my hand; we just looked at each other for what seemed like several minutes but were in fact only a few seconds.

The pain in her eyes was so raw and my heart went out to her.  She shouldn’t have to go through so much agony, not now, not ever.  She tried to smile and opened her mouth to speak but a sound like a sob came out instead; she put her hands to her mouth and then the tears started falling.  I reached out to her and held her small but tiny frame, stroking her hair and praying as the sobs started to come; it was almost like she had no control over them.  I just stood there holding her and I could feel tears pouring down my own cheeks.

The sobbing was a release in my mother that was needed.  For three months, she had hardly spoken, hardly cried, and just kept to herself most of the time.  Three months of pain and agony that had been building up inside of her.  Even after the funeral, she had refused to see anyone, to venture outside the home and wouldn’t even allow the doctor to prescribe her medicine to help numb the pain in her heart.

Holding her now, I was praying that this was the release that was needed that here was at last a breakthrough.  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see my brother start to venture into the kitchen.  He stopped and stared and then made his way over to us and he reached out his hands to both of us and I could hear him offering words of comfort to our mother.  He always knew the right words to say, the right thing to do, especially of late and I admired his calm but controlled manner.

This went on for several minutes and I could hear the kettle whistling in the background, but decided the kettle could wait  as this was much more important.  Soon our mother’s sobs started to subside and gradually ceased altogether.  She took hold of our hands and started to pray, something which I hadn’t seen her do in almost three months now. She thanked God for all the precious years she had had with our father, for his commitment to Him, and to us as a family.  She thanked Him for his continued love and affection and also that his suffering was now no more, that he was finally at home with our loving Father.

My brother and I were crying as she was praying as this is what we had missed these past several weeks and we felt that this was now a turning point for our mother and for us!  Though the pain would be raw for some time to come, it now seemed mother could at last gain some control over her life again.  When she stopped praying, she opened her eyes and looked at both of us.  She squeezed our hands and gave a tiny smile before turning around to remove the kettle from the fire.

The sun was starting to fade as I walked along the path by the river.  I felt like I had been on my feet for hours when it had only been a mere forty minutes or so.  I decided to rest and take a break; the tree ahead seemed like the ideal spot in which to rest.  I walked over and leaning against it, I looked up at the sun which was fast disappearing now behind the clouds.  As I stood there, I could feel the cool evening breeze on my face which was very welcome after the heat of the day.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a squirrel near my feet, as I looked down it suddenly stopped before scurrying away into the distance.  There was complete silence around me except for the rippling sounds coming from the brook near by. Letting out a deep sigh, I closed my eyes and let my mind wander back to the events of the past few days.

Events that I would rather forget and put behind me once and for all.  I knew I had decisions to make, important ones at that.  I was also aware that I could no longer continue in the way I had been going.  The road I was going down was going to be long and hard where challenges and trials were going to come up time and time again.  I had to face them, I knew that! I also knew that now was the time to start letting go of me and allow You to be in total control of my life otherwise I would continue falling.  I could no longer allow this to happen. I had to be strong and accept my identity in You.  This was the time for me to start growing up and to mature. It was time to start standing on Your word, to commit myself and my life totally to You.

As I continued leaning against the tree, I heard this still small voice which seemed to come from nowhere saying “the joy of the Lord is your strength” I wasn’t sure if I was imagining this but it came again, clearer this time and then the words “Don’t let the devil steal your joy”. I let these words wash over me again and again, I couldn’t move and besides which it seemed in appropriate to do anything.

Finally after what seemed an age, I opened my eyes and realised tears were streaming down my face.  I didn’t care and just allowed the tears to fall.  I slid down against the tree and sank down onto the ground.  Burying my head in my hands I just sobbed allowing all the pent up emotions within me to be released.  Tears of pain hurt and anguish that had been locked up inside me for months – it was time to let go and a time of healing to start taking place in my life!

After awhile the sobbing ceased and I sank back against the tree, looking around I noticed the drooping branches and realised I was sat under a weeping willow. Quite appropriate for this moment in time I thought.  I felt as if the branches were protecting me and that this was the place of sanctuary I needed for this time where I could remain oblivious to everything and everyone around me.

I felt this peace wash over me and I just remained there not wanting to move or interrupt what was happening.  I couldn’t bring myself to move so continued sitting there under the weeping willow. I had no idea how long I had been here for but when I finally looked at my watch, I couldn’t believe the time.  Where had the past hour gone?

I sighed and finally after a few moments, I eased myself up off the ground and started making my way home with a new purpose and spring in my step. I knew that no matter what lay ahead that I could and would allow You to take control of every area of my life.  I would face whatever challenges came up no matter how hard or difficult.  I would give myself totally over to You.

The short story below is pure fiction & written for this weeks Faith Writers Challenge....

Brrr, it was cold outside and Mr Frost had already begun his visit I noticed as soon as I opened my front door. Wrapping the scarf around my neck so as to keep out the winter chill, I closed the front door. I made my way down the steps and out onto a pavement that was buzzing with people – unusual for this time of evening I thought. Where did all these people come from?  Where were they going? Then it dawned on me, middle of November; today was Thursday, which meant late night shopping had begun.  Great, just what I didn’t need! I felt a little pang of guilt then and as quickly as this thought popped into my head - I got rid of it.  

It seemed to me that Christmas seemed to be getting earlier and earlier each year, even the Christmas lights were all switched on I noticed as I neared the shopping mall.  All along the sidewalks, shops were gaily lit with colourful lights, windows adorned with decorations & lots of gifts displayed in the windows to entice the shoppers.

I hurried along wanting to get away from both the gaiety that seemed to be all around plus the sharp crispness of the air – I wrapped the scarf even tighter around me, boy it was cold. Crossing the road, I hurried down a side street which was also brightly lit and for this I was thankful. I checked my watch to realise that I was running later than intended, so I quickened my pace until finally I was outside the gates to the church.

I hurried on into the building to find that I was not the only one who was late which was a relief. I removed my gloves and scarf – it was so nice to be in the warm and away from the coldness outside.  The church building, I suddenly realised, was already packed full of people as I looked around for a spare seat which I eventually spotted over on the on the far left hand side of the large room. 

The speaker had already begun which meant that the worship was going to take place later on in the evening.  If I had left home a little earlier then I wouldn’t have missed the beginning but, at least at the end of the service I could purchase the teaching on cd – this was something that had only just started and was a fabulous blessing especially for those who couldn’t make any of the services. Oh yes, this was a blessing indeed!

I reached into my bag, took out my bible, notepad and pen and settled myself back into the seat to listen to the words being spoken by the speaker at the front. This was a guy who was very well known in various countries. A preacher, who over the years had become renowned for his gift of teaching; A preacher, who had the ability to capture and hold the attention of his audience, who also had this perfect knack of making  them laugh at exactly the right moment.  Oh indeed, he was good and he was a man whom I had come to admire & respect over the years. 

I smiled then remembering how we first met, which was at Bible College many years ago. From that very first meeting, we both somehow knew that the Lord had not only bought us together, but we were destined to be together for the rest of our lives. Just at the moment, the preacher in the pulpit at the front, caught my gaze and smiled. My heart melted as always when he smiled at me in this way. You see, this man in the pulpit was not only a gifted international speaker who was loved by so many, but to me he was even more special. For at the end of the day this was a man whom the Lord had given to me all those years ago – this very special man was my husband.

Looking out across the sea crashing against the rocks, the waves were coming in faster now and I shivered against the cold wind.  I could feel the first drops of rain on my face which was so welcoming. I knew this storm had been expected for the last half hour especially as the clouds had become darker overhead, but, I didn’t mind. As I looked around I could see the opening of a cave that I could shelter in until the storm passed so I moved towards it.  There was a bit of a climb which was difficult against the wind which seemed to be increasing in speed, I stumbled slightly but managed to keep going until finally I reached the mouth of the cave.  I found a seat where I could at least rest for awhile until it passed.

I undid the flask of coffee I had bought with me and poured myself cup of the hot welcoming liquid. After taking a few sips I then leaned back against the cliff wall. From where I  sat I could see some sheep in the distance happily grazing despite the rain that was now coming down thick and fast. In the distance I could hear the rumble of thunder.  I hadn’t envisaged this and the thought of sitting here in the midst of a storm seemed quite exciting somehow!

I was so glad that I had made the decision to come out and do something different for a change. For me this was a sense of achievement which was needed big time. I had come to the conclusion lately that I no longer wanted to stay in the same place that I had been in for the past two years; I wanted to improve and to get myself back into a “normal” every day way of living, something that I needed to work at daily.  I was also thankful that I had the Lord in my life especially whilst struggling against the dark days of depression and despair. I knew that when times became tough that He carried me and didn’t just walk beside me. Some days could be so difficult that I would often go back to bed and stay there - this for me was a place of refuge and safety. At the same time I knew I was wasting away the hours – not a good place to be in I had decided.

The sudden clash of thunder interrupted my thoughts for a moment and I watched as the rain was now coming down in torrents. I was mesmerised especially when a flash of lightning lit up the whole sky. Wow, it felt so good to be experiencing this powerful storm whilst sitting here in this cave in the heart of the countryside. 

Letting my mind wander back, I knew especially in these last ten days or so, that some changes had slowly started taking place, good ones at that.  I had more to focus on and one friend who had come into my life had helped me more than she could ever envisage. This friend had given me the ability indirectly to help me set tasks for myself and had given me the courage and strength to move forward.

Yes, the goals and achievements to get myself back into a routine were going to take time, but there was more of a purpose and a desire now to improve and get better. I knew that the Lord’s purpose for my life was one full of joy and hope and not one of despair and self harm.

Also, this move that had recently taken place in my life was one of change and of new expectations. Over a period of time I knew I would look back on these last two years or so and see how much the Lord had done for me. But for now, all I could do was to take one day at a time, but this would be with a more added purpose than before.

 I suddenly realised that the rain had stopped and looking out of the cave I could see this beautiful rainbow with the sun behind it.  A rainbow so beautiful, it spoke of hope and also of God’s promises. These promises would be of healing, renewed hope and full of God’s goodness and love. Getting up from the seat, I stretched and then gathered my things together before making my way slowly down the hill towards home.