How the dress code of women has changed over the centuries and alas, certainly not for the better, hence I have decided to write this article based around women & femininity. This is a topic that The Lord has been speaking to me about more and more over the past fourteen months and is now becoming a topic  close to my heart. I also know that I am not the only woman who has voiced opinions especially in the regard to the area of women and modesty and I certainly won’t be the last!

If today's women  lived in the early part of the 19th/20th Century and went to church and probably went out generally dressed the way a lot of women are today - they would have been arrested there and then - how our society has changed so much!

It has become clear to me especially amongst Christian women in today’s world, that there are those whom God is speaking to  regarding modesty & feminine dress. These are women who desire to go back to dressing in a more appealing way to the Lord. They are:

v     Women, who long to be obedient to His Word by the way they dress.

v     Women, who desire to be feminine in a society where “anything goes” dress wise.

v     Women, who desire to be different and to speak out through dressing in a more modest and feminine manner

v     Women who desire to dress in a more pleasing way for their husbands

v     Women who want to set an example to those around them including the younger generation of today

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. 1 Timothy 2:9-10

The Lord, tells us through a few scriptures in His Word that we are to dress modestly and pleasing to Him. His Word does not tell us that we should go out “alluring men”. Please don’t get me wrong here, as I am sure a lot of us, especially  Christian women don’t go out with this intention but unknowingly for the most part we do go out focussed on our outward appearance.

Men are attracted by the female form, fact – pure and simple – how we are dressed outwardly (as well as inwardly) matters and speaks volumes. In today’s society, the message is that there is nothing wrong with women wearing:

v     Short skirts & shorts show off legs

v     Tight and low cut blouses show off our bust line

v     Sleeveless and/or thin strapped blouses and tops again can show off our bust line and even more in some cases....

v     Trousers/Jeans again can show both the crotch area and bottom (there was no easy way to word this)! (I do still wear jeans but not very often & a ongoing challenge for me!)

v     Swimwear – especially bikinis and high cut swimsuits reveal too much

So often we don’t think about the men or what they are seeing,

What message are we giving across to those around us and to our brothers?

“We do not want to be responsible for causing a brother to stumble. Sadly, few ladies consider their brother when choosing their attire. “It’s his problem if he lusts!” is the more common reply.”

Sorry, but I totally disagree with this statement big time – why? How we dress can cause our brothers to stumble and so we have a responsibility as Christian Women to make sure that this doesn’t happen. By dressing according to biblical principles and guidelines will not only be pleasing to Our Father, but we won’t be focusing so much on ourselves and the message we give will speak volumes to others especially and others will know that “we are different”

Our dress code should not change like the wind during the week either. I know from experience that I have gone out wearing clothes during the week that I would not wear to church as I would have felt very uncomfortable. My question is this, if you feel ok going out wearing unsuitable clothing as stated above but then feel uncomfortable going to church meetings wearing the same “type of clothing” then do you know think that God is speaking to you here?

This is why I started revamping my wardrobe last year by getting rid of unsuitable items that I knew I could not wear. As I am moving again, I am still finding clothes that have been at the back of draws etc that I had forgotten about – they have gone straight into the trash!

Again, as I have stated before – the way we dress does not make us better Christians on the outside! Our heart needs to be changes as well, how we are on the inside should reflect the same on the outside and yes can and does take time but this is where we need to keep persevering & moving forward in our desire to please God.

Finally, a closing statement to think upon:

“Women are to dress according to certain standards which included modesty, inexpensive and non-gaudy attire, and clothing that reflects godliness. To be modest means to be decent and respectful. A Christian woman should display the virtues of Christian womanhood. She should carefully and prayerfully select her attire in order to not unduly expose her body. She does not have to be excessively old-fashioned, but she should choose clothing that will dignify her womanhood and enhance her appearance. She should consider that she is to be an example of godliness to those around her, without feeling the need to blend with a society that has no regard for modesty.

She is a disciple of Christ. Her dedication means that she does not seek the most expensive and extravagant clothing, and limits the amount of jewellery she displays. By confining herself to moderate and conservative clothing, she draws attention to Christ rather than herself. She will not allow the Devil to use her to introduce any fashion or behaviour to the Body of Christ that is inclined to worldly trends.”

I know that there have been a few topics on Modesty that have been posted by various people on Homestead Blogger and yes, I am going to add another post here.

This is an issue that I feel is important and just something that is sadly lacking not only amongst non-Christians but also in the churches today too, which I find such a shame. I also find it amazing that there seems to be no or very little teaching on this subject for the women including girls who are about to enter into womanhood in churches today.  This is something that I feel is sadly lacking and my question is why?

Before I go into this subject more, I just want to tell you a little about where I am coming from. 

I guess, I have throughout the years been fairly careful about how I dress especially when going out, but there have been times in my life that I have not taken as much care as I should have done. 

From the time I was a teenager, I have on the whole worn long skirts and/or dresses which I have felt more comfortable wearing. Yes I have also throughout the years worn jeans. But there have also been occasions in the last nine years that I have worn shorter skirts  and one I particular remember ended up being knee length! A dress that an ex boyfriend bought me which was again to my knees and this had very thin straps. The dress was quite expensive but on the couple of occasions I wore this to special functions, I felt uncomfortable, insecure and I felt exposed (which I wasn’t), but this is how I felt and I didn’t wear this because I wanted too! After my boyfriend and I split, I think I vaguely remember taking the scissors to this dress as I couldn’t wait to get rid of it.

Again with the skirt that ended up being knee length, when I purchased this skirt, the length was almost to my ankles and then there was an acquaintance who decided that they had had enough of seeing me going out all the time in long skirts and hence took the scissors to this, sewed a short hem and I was not at all happy. Again, this skirt and I parted company some time later and it was about four – five years ago that this skirt ended up in the trash.

That was the last time that I have worn skirts or dresses that have been practically near enough above ankle length (some dresses/skirts may be an inch or so above my ankles but certainly no more).  I feel more comfortable wearing clothing that is this length and I also feel more feminine.

I have throughout the years, sadly, not given as much consideration to tops and I have worn tops that have had very thin straps etc but otherwise fairly modest but on the whole it is strange that I would be happy enough to go out on a daily basis not worrying too much about the tops etc that I wore but when it came to church I would on the whole cover myself up more – hmmm, something wrong here!

Last year I believe in March, I started  to read through modesty issues on Mom of 9s place, I was not happy and wondered where this lady was coming from and then I felt the Lord starting to speak to me in regards to my clothing. I felt Him remind me about the fact that I would be happy enough to wear certain types of clothing in “every day life” but when it came to church, I would wear clothing that basically, would add more cover. I then started going through my wardrobe and threw out various tops, and some skirts that were long but had splits in them, again I didn’t feel comfortable wearing these skirts and anything else that I felt wasn’t right. But I still kept a couple of tops to wear around the home where no-one could see me – hmmm, wrong!

I have used these tops for exercise but you never know when you are going to receive that “unexpected” visitor or the postman who has a parcel for you – and when this has happened, I have put a shawl around my shoulders to make myself more presentable. Guess what, these few tops that I have left are going in the trash.

The Lord is still speaking to me in regards to Jeans (I don’t wear trousers) so this is I guess another subject.  I have purchased quite a few pieces of clothing now that are modest and I feel so much more comfortable and as I mentioned earlier, feminine and this also makes a difference when outside.  People are, I have noticed more courteous, friendly and to the point of opening doors etc for you………

I do feel strongly though, that sadly this is an area again, as I said earlier that is lacking teaching in the churches of today and an area that Pastors, Elders and teachers need to take a serious look at!

Wearing more modest and feminine clothing:

v     Does this make me more “holier than thou” – no of course not

v     Does this make me look better than others – no of course not

v     Am I saying that all young girls and women are to choose to dress the same way I do – no but I do feel that we do need to be an example to others on how we are to present ourselves on the outside (as well as on the inside of course) not only to the Lord, but, to the world too!

I know that I am being obedient to the Lord and I also know that going down this road is His will for me and Yes, he has more changes to make in my life in this area but I am so thankful for the path that He is leading me down now.

Please note that the following article is used with permission from Sovereign Grace Ministries. WhenI first read this article, I was very impressed by what I read and thought  this is an article  that heeds very good advice especially for women in the church today....

Modesty Check

By

Carolyn Mahaney

Nicole Whitacre

Kristin Chesemore

Janelle Mahaney

So, I’m ready to leave the house, but I still have to do a modesty check, What are some things that I should look for as I stand in front of the mirror?

 First, it's time for a heart check....

“How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examineher motives and goals for the way she dresses.  Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood? Is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to reveal a humble heart devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attention to herself and flaunt her beauty? Or worse, to attempt to lure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.” John MacArthur [emphasis added]

v     What statement do my clothes make about my heart?

v     In choosing what clothes to wear today, whose attention do I desire and whose approval do I crave? Am I seeking to please God or impress others?

v     Is what I wear consistent with biblical values of modesty, self-control and respectable apparel, or does my dress reveal an inordinate identification and fascination with sinful cultural values?

v     Who am I trying to identify with through my dress? Is the Word of God my standard or is it the latest fashion?

v     Have I solicited the evaluation of other godly individuals regarding my wardrobe?

v     Does my clothing reveal an allegiance to the gospel or is there any contradiction between my profession of faith and my practice of godliness?

Starting at the top….

v     When I am wearing a loose-fitting blouse or scoop-neck, can I see anything when I leave over? If so, I need to remember to place my hand against my neckline when I bend down.

v     A word on purse straps: How could a purse possibly be a modesty concern? When you’re wearing the strap across your chest. Regardless of the shirt you’ve got on this accentuates your chest and creates a temptation for men (I am going to add here, this also applies to seatbelts!)

v     If I am wearing a button-down top, I need to turn sideways and move around to see if there are any gaping holes that expose my chest.  If there are, I’ve got to grab the sewing box and pin between the buttons.

v     The same check is needed if I am wearing sleeveless.  When I move around can I see my bra? If I do, I need the pins again!

v     Am I wearing a spaghetti-strap, halter-top or see-through blouse? Not even pins will fix this problem! Most guys find these very unhelpful. It’s time to go back to the closet.

v     Can I see the lace or seam of my bra through my shirt? In this case, seamless bras are a better option.

v     One final shirt check: Does it reveal any part of my cleavage? Does my midriff show when I raise my hands above my head? Is my shirt just plain too tight? If the answer is “yes” to any one of these questions, then I need to change my outfit.

“….Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty  and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness-with good works." 1 Timothy 2:9-10

Moving on down….

v     Does my midriff (or underwear) show when I bend over or lift my hands? If so, is it because my skirt or my pants are too low? Either my shirt needs to be longer or I need to find a skirt or pants that sit higher.

v     I also have to turn around to see if what I’m wearing is too tight around my derriere, or if the outline of my underwear shows.  If so, I know what I have to do! J

v     And for my shorts –I can’t just check them standing up. I need to see how much they reveal when I sit down. If I see too much leg, I need a longer pair.

v     The “sit-down” check applies to my skirt or dress as well.  And I must remember to keep my skirt pulled down and my knees together when I’m seated.

v     And speaking of skirts, watch out for those slits! Does it reveal too much when I walk? Pins are also helpful here.

v     Before I leave, I need to give my skirt a “sunlight check.” Is it see-through? If so I need a slip.

v     Finally, I must remember to do this modesty check with my shoes on. High-heels make my dress or skirt appear shorter.

And don’t forget – this applies to formal wear as well.

A note on swimwear – the pool or beach.  Look for one-piece bathing suits that aren’t cut high on the leg or have a low neckline.

Copyright 2002 Sovereign Grace Ministries, Gaithersburg, MD. www.sovereigngraceministries.org

It is so difficult to find modest clothing in any of today’s high street stores which is such a shame, especially for those who feel led by the Lord to wear more feminine and modest attire.  I realise there are quite a few sites on the internet that promote modest clothing but below is a list of a few modest clothing sites which have come highly recommended.