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Keeper of the Home has posted a great question, I chose the first question because I'm trudging through the middle of teaching about purity in our own home. I'm posting my response here as I would like to read your thoughts.

Original Question: ..............If you could please give me some advice on handling some situations with them.  First, my oldest, my stepson Nick, is going on a weeknd trip to Savannah with his 8th grade class this weekend.  I was fine with him going until I found out that I cannot be a chaperone because they already have enough.  And, Nick got a new girlfriend in his school that he has already gotten in trouble with for hugging in school.  First of all I do not approve of him having a girlfriend, but that is SO uncool not to have one.  Plus, she's a popular girl, and for the last 2 years of attending this school has been looking for acceptance.  When I was in the 8th grade I went to England for a trip and though I didn't join there were tons of hotel parties.  I really worry that with Nick's insecurities and with not being properly chaperoned he could do something that could change his life.  I told my husband that I am tempted to just follow behind the bus.  I guess my question is how do you live according to Christ, but still fight the urges of acting like the rest of your fellow teenagers?  How can I as a parent protect him without being there or making him upset with us?

My Response: This sounds like a heart issue. Your son is looking for acceptance where he can find it, which in this case seems to be his school friends. He has normal desires that every single boy has which thankfully is the way God designed it to be. Unfortunately he is giving away things that aren’t meant to be given away yet, the time isn’t right.

Ask yourself this question, why do we date? What is the goal? The purpose? The goal in dating is marriage. At 14 is he ready for marriage? Absolutely not! At this age dating is purely for selfish and lustful desires it appeals to the flesh.

So why do so many Christian young men and women fall into impurity? Because they are usually bombarded with it, billboards, magazines, t.v. the way young women or men dress. You become desensitized.

What are we to do? As Christians we have to start with Gods word. But how? I believe we have to line our thinking up with the Word. There are so many resources available on the subject of purity. Here are a few. But let me say, not only on purity but also on getting our children’s hearts so that through the teen years when they need our guidance more then ever they are willing to listen. How do we build a relationship with them so that we have their heart? So they are willing to listen to what we have to say about purity, lust, morality, and any matter really??

Before I share links, and other resources let me address something that really bothers me. It was from another commenter, about being a homeschooler so we don’t have to deal with this issue. Are you kidding me? If you have any young adult, male or female, under your roof they are struggling with lustful thoughts, or desires, if your not talking with them about these things, preparing them for advances they might receive from a girl such as a brush of the hand or a well placed giggle, grabbing of a hat, or even something like, “You have the cutest laugh!” then you are fooling yourself.
If your not preparing them for what to do if someone shows them a dirty magazine and sharing with them the seriousness of this then you are setting them up to stumble.
If your not reviewing, memorizing, learning what the Bible says about Purity (which it says more then I ever realized) you are fooling yourself. We are not immune because we home school or because we don’t have a TV in our homes. Remember these are God given natural feelings we have to be attracted to the opposite sex, but God gave us away to handle these desires.

You don’t have to look far for answers this is an excellent post by a fellow homestead blogger. She really poured her heart out and I have shared this with my oldest son (15) we talked about this and about how looking at others as brothers has helped her.

Here is a great article called Jumping Ship. It is long, at 5 parts, but worth every little minute you spend reading. (while your there do a search at the top for purity)

A great FREE AUDIO: SCROLL TO SM Davis "Why Sexual Purity Still Matters" Listen by MP3 or Real Player another great listen is "Freedom From the Spirit of Anger" It is a long list, scroll slowly under SM Davis.

FREE AUDIO: Keeping The Hearts Of Your Children Ann Brubaker. (VERY GOOD!)

Book Recommendation: Keeping Your Children's Hearts by Steve & Teri Maxwell

A Great CD FOR YOUNG MEN called, "Success Or Failure Where Are You Headed?" By Maxwell's & Reasonably priced, pop it in the car as you drive they can't get away while your speeding down the highway.

A Great CD FOR YOUNG WOMEN called, "Experiencing The Joy Of Young Womanhood" By Maxwell's- my boys listened to this too because I want them prepared for what to look for in the right woman.

And my favorite, order it immediately if you want answers yesterday. Excellent for those of us who grew up dating! Reb Bradley Preparing Your Children For Courtship and Marriage.

Iron Sharpens Iron

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Friday, May 2, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by quiverfullacres

Excellent resources and advice!

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