Runnels Rhapsody

60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably.People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Wisconsin gets thicker.

20 above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero: People in Miami all die. Wisconsinites close the windows.

10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Wisconsin get out their winter coats.

25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Wisconsin are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Wisconsin let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Wisconsinites get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) People in Wisconsin start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:  Hell freezes over. Wisconsin public schools have a 2-hour delay.