Homestead Longings

Of Deserts and Wives

(yesterday)

“I almost had to get my car washed the other day.”

Why is he telling me this? Did something happen to the car? “Why?”

“I drove by Hooters the other day and they were having a car wash.”

My eyebrow raises.

“Have you ever seen a Hooters carwash?” he asks.

My nerves suddenly feel like they are crackling with electricity. I notice that he is watching me out of the corner of his eyes. He is trying to tease me. When I realize this I try to calm my nerves and try to think of a way to respond that will not wound him, but still express how this made me feel.

With a smile I tell him, “Honey, I know you are teasing, but that doesn’t exactly help my self-confidence right now.”

He turns to look at me. “Oh…sorry. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

I am getting much better at this. Many times I have wanted to just vent and tell my husband what a complete jerk I think he is being. In the past I would have done just that, and just as the Bible predicted, it would cause more hurt feelings and anger. This is one of the times that God’s word restored peace quickly to our marriage.

When encounters like this happen it always reminds me of a very defining event in my life. Back before I became a Christian and had God’s word to give me guidance.

When I was still in the Army some of our group was put on a detail with a bunch of the tankers and infantry guys. That was not bad in itself, but after a week or two of being on this detail with them I had only heard them speak poorly about their wives and marriages. There was a lot of grumbling and complaining.

On another day, I was sitting and listening to one particular guy talk about how much he just wanted the detail to end. It was the kind of detail where we were all bunking in a random little building somewhere and didn’t get to see our own homes or rooms for nearly a month. Then the man stated, “….and then I get to go home to my wife.”

Assuming from my previous experiences that this guy must be being sarcastic, I said, “I am sorry to hear that.”

Startled, he looked back at me and practically yelled, “Are you KIDDING? I can’t WAIT to get home to my wife!”

The single thought that stuck with me from that day forward was, THAT is the kind of wife I want to be!

When I think back on that event now I find myself feeling very sad that this one unnamed wife seemed to be the exception to the rule. Sometimes I still feel like I am failing miserably in this area, but I still would like to think that my husband would have a wealth of good things to say and think about our marriage. That coming home to me is still a better part of his day. This has become an even more present thought in my mind as we prepare for my husband’s upcoming deployment to Iraq. He really will be living in a desert then. (Proverbs 21:19) Will it be better than being home with me? I am confident now that I can say NO to that question.

I always wonder to myself and of other women, what do you think it is that your husband is going to remember about you?

Beautiful.... Thank you for expresing this, Regina!

08:33, Tuesday, June 3, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

~Tammy~