Homestead Longings

Reading through Ruth....

I have been reading through the book of Ruth. Over and over again. Each time a new little light bulb flicks on. I didn't and still don't understand everything, but I am working on understanding more and more of it. Lots of reading and research. In fact, I am thinking of finding a book called "Shattered Dreams". I read a comment about it in another book the other day that said, "he tells how God stripped Naomi of happiness to prepare her for joy." Wow. I can relate to that feeling, though.

Anyways, I have to admit that I am struggling a little with something. I think I might be a little too emotional to discern properly whether God had a message for me in this or not.

While reading Ruth, I was struck by the fact that Ruth was married to her former husband for 10 years without ever conceiving a child. It made me wonder why? Then I learned more about Moab and their god Chemosh. It was a pagan place that practiced child sacrifice. I wondered if I should consider it ironic that God didn't give them children in a place like that. Something else I wondered. If Ruth HAD had children, would she have dared make the journey? I don't know. It made me start thinking, though.

I am not exactly infertile. I am not the most fertile either. I have had my issues. I knew a long time ago, that my fertility was in question. When I left home I engaged in many ugly things. There were many partners over the years, and I never used anything to protect myself. But I never got pregnant. Now I am married to a wonderful man, and now we have 2 wonderful children. We are praying to have more. In fact, I just sent a prayer request out a few weeks ago to many of my friends regarding this topic. At right about the same time I sent out that request, I found Ruth.

(That is kind of ironic now that I think about it. My friend Ruth, the person, was just telling me that she felt this was the time, and that a baby would be coming soon, and then I start reading the book of Ruth. Coincedence? Creepy, hehe.)

Well, there I sat, pondering this message, and wondering if I was not so different than Ruth. Maybe God wasn't so much withholding as delaying. Maybe I wasn't where I needed to be to receive the blessings he had for us. And in that message, I found hope, thinking that God led me here to tell me that the blessings are going to come. Only in the past 2 to 3 years have I even begun to believe in children as a blessing from God as opposed to merely extra baggage in life. I admit that I have been praying that this really is God's message for me and not just my wishful thinking.

Just the other day, I came across an article in my email box that really seemed to be the "icing on the cake" for all the things I have been thinking about lately. In the article "Work the Wait" by Stephanie Voiland, I found SO MANY things that struck right at my heart. I cannot even begin to summarize the article, because every bit of it seemed to speak directly to me. I will try to add a link at the bottom. She did talk about Lazarus, though, and how "God sometimes doesn't give us what we request so he can give us something better." Jesus could have healed Lazarus before he died, but could that possibly have compared to being able to RAISE HIM?

There was one other thing from that article that I am making my own and clinging to. I want to grow during my waiting seasons rather than become bitter or lose faith!

www.christianitytoday.com/tcw/2008/julaug/2.22.html

Untitled Comment

06:43, Saturday, July 12, 2008 .. Posted by beccasue1029

Is this the book you're looking for?
http://product.half.ebay.com/Shattered-Dreams_W0QQprZ1860477QQtgZinfo

~*Becca*~