Homestead Longings

A Doorkeeper's Cookies

Recently a friend of mine said to me, “Sometimes I feel like Santa Claus. I give and give until I am left wondering…Where are MY milk and cookies?” At first I just sympathized. Later, I realized that I can totally relate.

I myself have been battling with discontentment a lot more than usual lately. Questioning God’s plan for me. Wanting more. Is this really all there is? This wife and mother bit is such a thankless job. Where ARE my cookies anyway? I am yet again guilty of listening to the world when it tells me that I deserve more. That what I have is not enough. It can be difficult to die to self when everyone around you is busy glorifying self.

When I read these verses this morning, I saw myself and so many others in these guys. I especially like the New King James Version of verse 3. “You take too much upon yourselves.” Can’t you just hear the underlying words? Let US help you with some of that burden! HA! God gave them a ministry. It was one that to me seems a bit behind the scenes. I wonder if they “rose up” because they wanted a little more glory than what they felt they were getting. As thankless as it might have seemed, their reaction showed thanklessness towards God and what he had entrusted them to do. In the end, they ended up with a lot less than what they started with. Nothing. Unless you want to count the ugly death.

I learned a while back during a bible study that Psalm 84 was a psalm “of the sons of Korah”. I don’t know how many were actually left after the earth opened up and swallowed their family, but I imagine it made quite an impression. I have no doubt that they really meant it when they sang “I would rather be a doorkeeper” than nothing at all in the house of God.

God reminded me this morning that he has already given me a very important ministry, whether it is very visible to others or not. I may very literally be the one who will open or close the door to God for my husband and children. I must find contentment in being a doorkeeper or risk ending up with nothing. I will get my “cookies”. I just may not ever get them on this side of heaven.

Thanks again for saying things I really needed to hear...

08:52, Thursday, June 26, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

I enjoy your insights into God's Word.

God can speak to our hearts in the strangest places. Once I was scrubbing gunk from under the hood of the stove in a house we were renting. It was apparently the first time in the stove's life that it had ever been cleaned.

I was thinking, "why ME?... Why am I the one who has to clean out this hidden horrible gunk? No one ever sees it anyway"
I scrubbed awhile longer, thinking about how well this powerful cleaner I was using was working, taking over the goo and grime in layers.

God spoke to me as I worked: HE sees the hidden layers of filth in our hearts. He sent Jesus, who never once asked "Why ME?", to use his super powered cleansing blood to wash away the layers of filth from our hearts.

I went back to my scrubbing with a renewed spirit.

Thanks for sharing with others those things God speaks to you.

~Tammy~ (Becky's mom)