Quiet Life Homestead

How do we help our sons become men?

I've just begun listening to Reb Bradley's tape series "Biblical Insights into Child Training: Raising Your Children as Warriors for Christ."  Reb was speaking on the part I was listening to yesterday about how this past 100 years we've prolonged our children's, well, childhood.  Over 100 years ago, boys were considered men around age 14.  Girls were considered women and some even married as young as 12.  Ok.  I'm not saying that I want my daughter to marry anytime soon, my husband says she can get married when she's 30. 

I would like, though, to find ways for my boys to become men.  I agree that we should not have them in youth groups, they should become active, contributing members in our churches.  Many youth groups are just dating services in a church building.  I know there are exceptions, but why prolong the time before they are held accountable to the church.  I'm not talking salvation.  Let me give you a few examples of what our family wants to avoid.  These are all from churches we have attended in the past, each before our children were youth group age.  Church A - The youth group was a place to discuss and fawn over the leader's new baby when not going to concerts and playing volleyball.  Church B - This church's youth group room came equipped with a rock band.  It was so loud that we could hear them from the other side of the building.  Church C - Not only did this one have a band, but also such biblical things as video games, pool,  & foosball.  Church D - The youth group was meeting in a separate building behind the church and several members were caught doing some very unbiblical things with members of the other sex.

I'm sure everyone has their own stories they could tell.  Like I said before, I'm sure there are exceptions, but I'm not taking the chance.  Our children do not go to separate Sunday school classes either.  We keep them with us and if they aren't welcome in there then we all leave. 

The purpose of this entry was to ask if any moms have ideas on ways to help our boys become men not when they have turned 18, but when they are yet young.  My oldest, Dallas, is wanting so much to get a job to help take care of the family.  We live across the street from a feed store that was hiring.  He went over to ask about the job and they did everything but laugh in his face.  Ok, I understand that he's 14 and would only be able to work parttime.  But he is very polite, hardworking, honest, dependable.  It is very frustrating when things like this happen.  I pray daily that God will provide us some land where our boys can do more to contribute. 

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense with all these thoughts running around in my head.  But if anyone has ideas, please let me know.  By the way, we checked on volunteer work, like at the library for instance, there seems to be nothing for anyone under age 16.

Thanks,

Vicki

Untitled Comment

{ 07:07, Wednesday, February 28, 2007 } { Posted by Andrea }

Vicki, you could always assign chores for your children to do and bring them into "your world" rather than take part in "their world". The boys can help cut grass and take out trash and all that jazz... the girls can help cook and clean and that sort of thing. It sounds like you're basically doing that (bringing the kids into "your world") when you demand that they attend church with you and not go to a separate "kids church". Just carry that through to home as well.

Just as idea. I know exactly where you're coming from.

Love~ Andrea

Excellent life lesson

{ 07:18, Wednesday, February 28, 2007 } { Posted by gokings13 }

You can take this opportunity to share with you son how "the world" just doesn't understand the Lord's Plan for boys to men. Tell him not to take it 'personal' but that they are mocking God, not the boy.

We too have tried to get our kids involved in volunteer work (red cross and the like) and they will not take them until they are 18. The "world system" is set up to perpetuate immature boys to men.

Is there someone in your church that has a farm that could use a hand? That could work out well. He could be under a godly family, and be working too.

As far as youth groups............we have had similar experiences. We pulled the kids out of youth group 5 years ago......and wow what a difference!!

www.visionforum.com Has tons of great materials about raising boys to men!!

Laura

Untitled Comment

{ 08:03, Wednesday, February 28, 2007 } { Posted by Rhen }

Our children are still young (oldest is about to be 10) but I can see exactly where you are coming from. Sadly, even the "children's church" can be a glorified baby sitting service. All they do is color and be entertained while the parents are being spritually fed. We are now blessed with a church that actually feeds our children spiritually as well. We have already started teaching our children about them looking to God for His plan for their lives. We also have started planning on how to help them to mature into men and women through their teenage years- not at the end of them. Our girls and boys will have to learn to take care of a home inside and out. No segregating because of their sex. Have you thought about getting together with a few other families and having your own "youth group"? A group that has a bible study and volunteers to help others in the church? Maybe like helping someone who is elderly to clean or to work in their yard? Just an idea.
Prayers to you and your family!

In Christ,
Rhen

Raising Men

{ 04:37, Wednesday, February 28, 2007 } { Posted by jjrustyrelics }

We have two boys, ages 6 and 8, and we are contemplating this as well. I just purchased a book, "How To Raise A Modern Day Knight" and I can't remember the author's name right now (sorry) but it tells how to give your sons a vision of what manhood is, and ways to teach him, things to do and even having a ceremony for him stepping into manhood. It's really neat!