Friday, February 8, 2008

Do I Ever Feel Old

I was sitting in the kitchen, knitting on the Calgary Flames Illusion scarf that I have been designing - the kids were in the toy room cleaning it up. While they were cleaning, I overheard them discussing Transformers .... Josh told Charlotte "I can't believe that you don't like Transformers - don't you know that they are antiques .... they were made in 1984!!!!!!!!!"

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Monday, January 21, 2008

Thought this was funny

Posted in Funnies

This was shared with me the other day, and I thought that some of you might get a kick out of it as well:

≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈≈

After every flight, pilots fill out a form (called a "gripe sheet," at some airlines) which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

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Monday, January 7, 2008

Addicted to Coffee

Posted in Funnies

You know you are addicted to coffee if ...

... You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

... You sleep with your eyes open.

... You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

... The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

... You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

... You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

... Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

... You chew on other people's fingernails.

... The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

... You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

... You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

... You can jump-start your car without cables.

... You don't sweat, you percolate.

... You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

... You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

... You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

... People get dizzy just watching you.

... Instant coffee takes too long.

... You channel surf faster without a remote.

... You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

... You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

... You short out motion detectors.

... You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

... Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

... You help your dog chase its tail.

... You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

... Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.

... You ski uphill.

... You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

... You answer the door before people knock.

... You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

~ Author Unknown ~

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Free Cowboy and Western Quotes

A Glimpse Into My Life ...

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV ~~

A Glimpse Into My Life ...

~~To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:~~ Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV ~~

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1, KJV ~~