A Frugal Wife

Posted on Monday, April 28, 2008 at 6:23 AM

A frugal wife is truely a blessing.  I have told my wife this repeatedly in our 6 years together, and thanked her for her frugality.  It is amazing how much peace-of-mind it gives a man to not have to worry about his wife overspending, buying things we don't need, and feeling we're on the same team financially.  This all assumes, of course, that the husband is a wise financial steward.  A frugal husband is equally a blessing to a frugal wife.  Regardless, the case with most one-income families is that the wife runs the home and her prudence and frugality in the things she buys is CRITICAL in keeping the family on track financially.

For my birthday my wife bought me a book called "10 Acres Enough", by James Miller.  It was written in 1864 by a man that made the transition from city life to country life.  His success in starting a small family farm could probably not be mimicked today because the playing field is not level.  Back then, small family farms were extremely prevelant and could compete fairly.  Today, mega-farms can out sell and underbid even the most hardworking small-acreage farmer.  There is a niche in the "organic" market that could be exploited, but I digress.  The main reason I wanted this book is because the author explains in elegant words why he made the move to the country and the joy and peace it brought his family to live a more self-sufficient lifestyle.

When reading it yesterday, he commented on the blessings of a frugal wife, and put it so well that I had to share.  My wife had me read it to her twice, it was so good.  When discussing how hard life was in the city because of his indebtedness to lenders, he wrote:

"Besides the mental anxieties [my debts] occasioned, they compelled a pinching economy in my family.  But in this latter effort I discovered my wife to be a jewel of priceless value, coming up heroically to the task, and relieving me of a world of care.  Without her aid, her skill, her management, her uncomplaining cheerfulness, her sympathy in struggles so inadequately rewarded, as mine were, I should have sunk into utter bankruptcy.  Her economy was not the mean, penny-wise, pound follish policy which many mistake for true economy.  It was the art of calculation joined to the habit of order, and the power of proportioning our wishes to the means of gratifying them.  The little pilfering temper of a wife is despicable and odious to every man of sense, but there is a judicious, graceful economy, which has no connection with an avaricious temper, and which, as it depends upon the understanding, can be expected only from cultivated minds.  Women who have been well educated, far from despising domestic duties, will hold them in high respect, because they will see that the whole happiness of life is made up of the happenings of each particular day and hour, and that much of the enjoyment of these must depend upon the punctual practice of virtues which are more valuable than splendid.

If I survived that crisis, it was owing to my wife's admirable management of my household expenses.  She saw that our embarrassment was due to no imprudence or neglect of mine.  She thus consented to severe privations, uttering no complaint, hinting no reproach, never disheartened, and so rarely out of humor that she never failed to welcome my return with a smile."

Don't you love the way they spoke back then?  It was so much more poetic and sophisicated.  Anyway, I couldn't have said it better myself.  Not only did his wife take care of their family, but she did it cheerfully, and that is a great Christian example for all of us.  My wife excels at that, and I often find myself trying to imitate it.

I'm also taken aback at how glowingly he talks of his wife and how much he cares for her.  The modern feminist movement would have us believe that most marriages back then consisted of nothing more than tyrannical husbands ordering there wives around and having no regard for her happiness.  On the contrary, there is great love in this man's writings.  He later writes:

"I had always loved the country, but my wife preferred the city.  I could take no step but such as would be likely to promote her happiness."

He goes on to describe how, through his study of farming and agriculture, he was able to show her the value in changing venues and careers, and it wasn't long before she was on board.  Husband and wife working as a team, selfless towards each other's needs and working together to make a family thrive.  An example for all of us.

So to all you wives and mothers out there who work so hard to keep our families afloat through your selfless frugality and sacrifice....

Thank You.

A Frugal Wife

Posted by Anonymous on Monday, April 28, 2008 at 10:35 AM - Link

When you were 19, you would have complained that those eloquent words did not make a bit of sense. It is very rewarding that you have grown to be such a delightfully understanding, patient, loving, appreciative, and devoted husband and father. I couldn't be more proud of you than I am right at this moment. You are an incredible man and son, and I thank God everyday that your father and I brought you into this crazy world. I love you. Mom

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Posted by CitySteader on Monday, April 28, 2008 at 11:50 AM - Link

That was beautiful. Thank you!