Fear, Doubt, and Educational Gaps

Posted on Monday, January 28, 2008 at 11:03

"Take my moments and my days....let them flow in ceaseless praise"

So Sunday morning at church, this (well meaning I'm sure) fellow homeschool mom approached me about the co-op she is involved in.  She asked if we belonged to a co-op and I responded no.  She proceeded to tell me that her girls (high school aged) go once a week, get their assignment for the whole week and return same time the next week.  I'm thinking this sounds really neat I guess but of course being the human sponge, I had my gazillion questions ready for her. 

I asked her what curriculum they used and she said whatever they (school) use.  So that was the first thing that turned me somewhat off.  Then she said that if I were to take my 2 elementary aged kids, I would have to "co-op" as a teacher of course.  On 6 weeks, assist 6 weeks, and off 6 weeks.  That was turn off #2 for me.  Call me lazy, weird, whatever but the whole purpose of homeschooling my kids was to live by our schedules, not be run ragged all week and not have a school dictating our curriculum. 

All was fine, even with my turn offs brewing in my head, until she pulled out the big guns and aimed right for the big flashing sign that read "MY WEAKNESS IS DOUBT AND FEAR".......she said, "This way I know they won't have any gaps in what they learn.  I could never teach them high school stuff because I don't have a college degree. And "Sally" is taking journalism there and on the yearbook committee which will look really great on a college application!"

BAM........instantly......DOUBTS!!!!

Am I suppose to do this co-op type thing?  Do I need to do it?  Are most homeschool moms doing this??? Am I failing my kids by not participating in something like this???  Do my kids need science labs??? Are they missing out???? Aren't all homeschool moms trusting in the Lord to fill any gaps???

I have struggled with these doubts the 3 years we have homeschooled.  They fight their way up, I pray them back down.....its the pattern. 

Honestly, I don't know how you ladies that have done this for years and years do it!  You get beat up from every direction of the world and there are pressures even within the homeschool community!  How do you tune it out???  How do you see all of the websites, new curriculum, field trip ideas, "must have" craft ideas, latest and greatest foreign language programs, etc., and not worry that you are dropping the ball somewhere???

I started this blog as accountability to myself so I promised to be transparent when I struggle.  I just thought of another pressure....to seem as though you have it all together! 

I realize this was more of a vent for me tonight but I would love to hear your ideas on the subject of co-ops...when to...when not to...what to stear clear of...what to not get caught up in...the right age they may benefit most....

Tyler The Prodigy is 11, Maggie The Visionary is 7, and Aidan The Fierce is 5......

Dear Father, thank you again for this opportunity to teach my children your truths....please forgive me when I may fear and doubt this way you have made for us.  I ask for courage and confidence to face the world and even the pressures that come within this homeschool world.  Help me to remember that your ways are best for our family and your plans are greater than any shiny new curriculum could promise.  And to trust that any gap my children may have at the end of this journey, will be filled with a knowledge of you and a passion to seek your heart and your will in their lives.

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Posted by schatzila on Monday, January 28, 2008 at 11:44 - Link

I myself did a co-op and would never do it again...it was so stressful for me, that I lost the joy of homeschooling...so we never did it again. And also speaking from a mom who homeschooled for 71/2 years my three older girls, the oldest is special needs..but the other one has graduated and attended public school going into her 10th year....she had no problem fitting in or joining in any subject....third daughter has been in public school now since grade 7 and is now in grade 11...she has been on the honour roll since we enrolled her in school....she also is receiving so far a $2,000 scholarship because of her marks and if she keep up the work until she graduates it will be more than $5,000. So you see, we did the basics of homeschooling...my kids loved biology and we dissected everything from worms to a fetal pig...we spent lots of time on Math and Writing...the rest was "life"...second oldest is now getting married....and we are now homeschooling two children adopted from Africa ages 9 13...came to us when 7 and 12....and one other nine year old son, is in public school.

You do NOT need a co-op to teach your children...Gaps??? There is always gaps in life...and if your kids think something is missing, they can always learn it....teaching them the foundations, will also teach them how to search out things that they need to learn and where to find the answers.

You sound like a very attentive mom, and I would only do what God calls you to do...never listen to the other voices that can sometimes plague our minds when it comes to guilt:-) YOU and God knows what is best for your children.

Hope this helps a little.

Connie

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Posted by Citygal on Tuesday, January 29, 2008 at 03:05 - Link

Hi Talysa,
I just thought I'd say hi. I enjoyed reading your blogs so far - you sound so like me! I'm not a natural homeschooler either - it's a 'dying to self' practice everyday for me too. I'm going into my 4th year this year with homeschooling, and I still don't know if I'm doing it right, but I think I'm a bit more relaxed about it than I was 3 years ago. I don't know much about co-ops (not sure if we have those here in NZ), but it sounds like something that could become a burden after awhile. As for gaps in education - I have a major maths gap from my whole highschool years in public school! LOL!!
A dear friend who homeschools her 5 children here in NZ and who used to be a school principal told me at the beginning of my homeschool journey to make it fun, not just for the kids, but for me too, even if that means changing curriculum, and tweaking things around so that we all enjoy it. It was good advice, and I've used it. It's helped alot.
Also, discovering homestead blogger has been great for me. It helps having the encouragement and advice of some of these dear women on here who inspire me and help me remember why what I'm doing is so important and of eternal value.
Nice to 'meet' you and I look forward to reading more of your blogs.
Rachel from Down Under!

Edited by Citygal on Tuesday, January 29, 2008 at 03:07

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Posted by Amanda on Tuesday, January 29, 2008 at 06:35 - Link

Wow! You sound like I did when I started Homeschooling. It has only been by the grace of God that I have continued on.

The LORD will supply all of my needs. NOT a co-op. The LORD will control my day, not another. The Lord is in control of my Homeschool, not fear!

The fears still come after 8 years. But The Lord is my strength and stronghold.

Seek Ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and ALL things will be added unto you!

Blessings.
Amanda <><
II Corinthians 5:7

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Posted by gokings13 on Tuesday, January 29, 2008 at 07:29 - Link

We did co-op one semester and it was horrid. It was just like the public school we pulled them out of only worse!
There was no 'support or mentoring' of new home schoolers, they just 'threw you in a room and said: prepare a lesson and teach!".
No thanks.

I have 2 high schoolers, and one 8th grader.

You can have them California Acheivement tested. Go to Christian Liberty Academy's web site and look for 'testing'. You can have the take the PSAT / SAT / ACT and that will give you an idea of where they are in Math, Science and English. Collegeboard.com is a great resource.

No you don't need co-op. But if it makes you breathe easier to know where they are 'academically' then find a few standardized tests and that will ease your mind!!

Laura

Hi

Posted by TheGoodLife on Tuesday, January 29, 2008 at 12:01 - Link

Doubt will always pop in to your head - it is a huge that we are holding in our hands the education of our children.

So it is very very normal to have doubts - we all have had them.

Co ops have not been my thing - and not all kids are interested in co ops of what is being taught or even at the ability of what is being taught - sound a bit like school???

A friend told me when you need some help it will come along - this has happened for us - eg our ds is dyslexic & we were told he was the worst they had ever seen - he may never read or write. A wonderful lady came into our lives & helped me - gave me encouragement. Ds is very gifted in art - I am not and we have found art lessons that suit him and even now he has just had a new tutor come into our lives.

Your kids are young - enjoy your days.
When they hit high school - there are many wonderful curriculum written from specialized teachers in their field we can use - eg Apologia - now you cant get such a high quality learning in a school as apologia for science.

Love Leanne NZ (into 11th year hs)

curriculum

Posted by wstoller on Tuesday, January 29, 2008 at 12:23 - Link

Our co-ops are much different. They are only 8 weeks each semester and they are FUN! :0) This next semester they have art & sign language. It's just a fun class where they can be with other homeschool peers (odd balls like them!) :0) and learn something in a very relaxed environment! woo hooo!
I sometimes worry also - especially when our 2 yr old keeps school from amounting to much more than interrupted workbook times. But... Look at the numbers that public schools publish - lots of kids fall through the cracks. you are spending one on one time tutorying your children!!! What could be better!!! I do the basics so far. I was talkign to a friend and all that she plans to do next year just exhausts me to think about it. It's not me. Keep it simple and stick around the home place - little running as possible! Much less stressful!!! Keep truckin!!

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Posted by dlynthomas on Friday, February 1, 2008 at 08:21 - Link

I know how you feel. I use to stress so much over the whole gaps thing. My oldest is 18 and we homeschooled from 4th grade. I bought the boxed school from Calvert and we followed it to the letter. I was so afraid that she wouldn't get what she needed. I obsessed and it ended up turning her off to school. She is such a bright student, but I think I pushed to hard to be like "real" school!
Second daughter went to public kindergarten and has homeschooled since. Except for half a year I sent her to a church school that was to stringent, she stress and had panic attacks over it. She is in 7th grade now. We have tried several different curriculums and I have tried not to stress over it to much, but do panic now and again. We haven't done the co-op thing, my oldest was in a homeschool group that met once a month when in lower grades, but we moved and didn't have access to anything like that for a long time. Now that we could, I chose not to. I heard a podcast last year sometime that made me reexamine my way of looking at the whole thing. It is on American Public Media- The Story, if you haven't hard it follow this link and listen... http://thestory.org/archive/the_story_191_School_Not.mp3/view I began to relax some after hearing this story. Maybe it will help you too. It is called School-not...
I think I forgot the reason why I chose to homeschool in the first place. I began to allow pressures from other people to stress me. And instead of following my own feelings about it, I let others tell me I was doing wrong. It doesn't help that my husband has never been a big supporter of homeschooling--he will come home and ask: what did y'all do in school today? And I feel like I have to have this detailed lesson plan to share with him. He has just never gotten the whole thing. I let him listen to this podcast and he kind of relaxed a bit, but he hasn't been won over yet.
I know that my kids don't have some of the opportunities that they may have if they went to school or co-ops. But they are very bright kids and I think will learn what they need to learn. I went to a public school from K-12, and I feel they are getting a better education than I got. I wasn't prepared for college when I graduated. But I went, got a degree and did well in college. So I think they will do the same. And my reasons for homeschooling are still the same and I still believe they are worth it.