Homesteading: A Woman's Journey

Submission in Marriage

08:38, Thursday, August 31, 2006 .. Posted in Study Parlor .. 1 comments .. Link

My beloved, Joe, is a member of a yahoo group that has lots of debates on the topics of relationships. He loves to debate, which is sometimes fun to watch him do, but not something that I would enjoy doing myself. Today, he sent me a copy of a message he posted to the group in regards to marriage and the issue of submission. Before he wrote his response to a group member, he and I talked about it on the phone. It seems that there are many who believe that submission of a wife to her husband is a way a man abuses his wife through controlling her. Something that those who truly understand the topic of submission know is very far from the truth.

In our studies, Joe and I have found the command of submission to be a great blessing to a marriage. In Ephesians 5:22, it says: "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord." Most Christian couples understand that this does not mean that the wife is to be a meek little doormat always jumping to her husband's every command. Unfortunately, however, we also know that there are those who use this directive as a license to bully and abuse their wife in the misuse of their authority in the home.

Early in our relationship, when we reached the point where I knew Joe's heart and that he would be faithful in his authority, I began to follow the directive of submission. At first, alittle to test the waters. Because of my past, it was a great leap of faith for me. One that Joe understood and, I think, he took very seriously. As time went on, I began submitting more and more. What a blessing. I found that by following the directive to submit to my husband, I was being freed to become the kind of wife that I wanted to be.

What a joyous blessing. By allowing myself to submit to my beloved's authority, I am able to see him become the husband and father that the Lord wants him to become. There is great wisdom in following the Lord's guidelines for marriage. Men, by nature, are much more decisive. They do not allow emotion to drive their decision making process. Women, on the other hand, are emotion driven. The man and woman together form a perfect balance if they work together. Each is able to influence the other. If a mother is facing a situation and is emotional, the father is able to step in and offer another perspective that is made without all the emotional mess. Not that they don't have emotions. Men just have a better control over them. Likewise, if a father is making a decision and is being too direct, the mother can gently intercede and maybe bring to the father a different perspective. I have never envied men their position of head of the household. They have a great burden on their shoulders. If there is an immediate decision to be made and the couple do not agree, the man must make the decision that is best for the family. His word is the final authority. What a horrible responsibility to carry. To know that the decisions that they make will have a direct impact on the family. In a good Christian marriage though, the times when the man makes the decision alone would be few. I have told Joe and others this analogy: "The man may be the head of the home, but the woman is the neck who can turn the head." Women have the ability to influence the decisions of their husbands....thus turning the head.

The way that Joe words it, when it comes to things within the house, I am in charge. He trusts my judgement as to the needs within the home. He never questions me when I tell him that I have to use a specific amount to stock the pantry, or I need something for Abigail or the home. He also trusts my judgement in regards to the setting up of our homestead. Though we both grew up in rural areas, he knows that I have more experience with farm animals. So, when it comes to the choosing of animals, size of our garden, care of the homestead, he lets me take the lead. He has lots of suggestions and we implement them also. We have equal say in it. Only difference is that he does differ to me if the idea needs alittle "tweaking" to make it something that would work.

When it comes to decisions that are about everything else, he is the final authority. He has authority over the homestead decisions, also, but by his own choice he lets me take the lead in it. I differ to him in all the decisions which are his authority to make. One thing that I have found is that it takes alot of pressure off of each of us. We both have our areas of expertise and we recognise that in each other.

I am so grateful to have a husband who uses his authority in a faithful manner. I trust in him completely that he will never use the authority in an abusive manner. I have seen the way he treats situations that we have faced and know that any decision he makes will be for the family's best interest. He makes his decisions after much thought, discussion between us as a couple and also prayer. Just as I do with the decisions that I make.

I pray each day that when Abigail grows up, she will be blessed as I have been, to find a good faithful Christian man who will treat her with the gentle loving respect and care that my beloved shows me. As a mother, you always want the very best for your child. I know in my heart that the best for my daughter would be a man just like her father.......my beloved, Joe.

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great post

09:21, Friday, September 1, 2006 .. Posted by deedee06
Paula, you have explained submission very well. We have been married for 25 years and I am only recently learning more and more about submission. As I apply the knowledge to our relationship, our marriage is flourishing. I thank the Lord that I can teach my daughter these things while she is still in our home. It is helpful with her to compare God's way with worldly choices. Then we can compare the fruits of those choices. Bless you today..............Denise (prairiemom)

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Submission in Marriage

great post

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