Homesteading: A Woman's Journey

Encouraging Little helpers

02:38, Tuesday, August 26, 2008 .. Posted in Personal Thoughts .. 3 comments .. Link

Do we encourage our little ones to help? Yesterday, I wrote about how Abigail was helping me make dinner by putting the dry kidney beans into the bean pot - one bean at a time. She had a lot of fun doing it and I had fun watching her. I later thought how easy it would have been for me to just do it myself. It certainly would have been done much faster than the time it took her to do it. Or, instead of seeing the fun part of the task and not getting impatient, I could have fussed about it.

How often have you listened as a parent complains that they have trouble getting their kids to clean their rooms or help out around the home? How often have you been one of those parents? Even the most well-intentioned parent can have those times of frustration.

I wonder, how many times did that child who won't clean their room had tried to help in their very early years only to be set aside and not included in the tasks? In the child's early years, we help to set the tone for the kind of helper they will be.

From the time Abbie was able to walk, she would follow me to the washing machine and watch me load & unload it. One day, she held her hands up to me reaching for the laundry I was taking from the washer to put in the dryer. The laundry was heavy for her, but I let her help me. She took the laundry one item at a time from me and added it to the machine. I had to help support larger items like my Beloved's jeans or blankets. I also had to adjust the laundry as she was too little to put the laundry towards the back of the dryer. Now, at 2 yrs old, she automatically comes with me to help with laundry and will stay near my side. When I am washing by hand, I set up a little tub for her with warm water for her. As I wash the wash cloths and other small items and they are rinsed, I hand them to her. Abbie then "washes" them and squishes out the water. When I am hanging laundry on the line, she hands me items to hang or the clothes pins. After the laundry is dry, she again will help by putting the laundry in the basket or putting the clothes pins in their container.

Would the job go faster without a 2 year old helping? Certainly it would, but I would be missing an opportunity to teach her how to help out. Teaching the idea of having a good work ethic doesn't happen overnight or is an attitude that can wait until a child is a preteen to teach them. We, as parents, must start early and let the idea of doing chores and helping be something that they learn to do from habit. Yes, there will be times when the child will become resistant and rebel against helping, but we need to continue to encourage them.

When I was working, before becoming a SAHM, I often saw the effect caused by parents who did not teach their children how to work. The kids grew up to be lazy on the job and some were having to be trained in even basic skills that should have been taught when they were growing up. I will never forget a girl who came to work at the fast food restaurant I was working at. When she was asked to wash some dishes, she literally had no clue how to do it! I asked her if she ever did dishes at home. Her reply was that her Mom always did them in the dishwasher. This 18 yr old girl had never washed a dish by hand in her entire life!

As parents, are we training our children to be independent or are we training them to be dependent? Over the years, many well-meaning women have made the statement to me that they hated doing chores when they grew up, so they were not going to burden their children with chores. These mom cleaned their childrens rooms, made their beds, did all the household cleaning, laundry, meal preparations, and such themselves without the help of their children. Her children grew up very unprepared for life on their own. They lacked the skills to know how to do their laundry, how to prepare meals, or take proper care of their homes.

How sad it is to see children who are not expected to help around the home! How sad that there are parents who do not see the chores as a form of preparation to teach their children about real life!
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04:37, Tuesday, August 26, 2008 .. Posted by seventhheaven
My lil boys always wants to help while cooking. With three this became too hectic, so I allow one at a time to help.... The now see this as a treat.... they love to be mommy's helper. There is always away to let our kids help if we will take the time.

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11:13, Tuesday, August 26, 2008 .. Posted by gabbie427
Great post!!! And again, I agree with you!!! LOL Our Noah (28 months) helps do the laundry as well. He loves to follow me around the house, and stands on a chair to toss the laundry in the washer! And he puts his own laundry away too!! He takes his dirty clothes to the laundry room every day too.

I heard on another site, that a mother was complaining about doing all the housework and not getting any help from hubby. Another person replied, why don't your children have any chores??? She said because they are 6,7 and 9 and too young. I couldn't leave this one alone!!!! I had to reply that Noah has started his training already on chores. He straightens his bed every morning by straoghtening the pillow, laying all his stuffed animals on the pillow and straightening his blankets. He helps with loading and unloading dishes in the dishwasher, he helps with laundry and putting away, and he is in charge of putting his toys away. And then I told her, and he is only 2!!! LOL

I think children should be taught, trained, to clean up after themselves and be a part of keeping the house running smoothly even at a young age.

But I, as you, have seen friends children whine and throw themselves on the floor when mom asks them to hang up their coat and bookbag as they walk in the front door. Or please make your bed before coming downstairs for breakfast starts a tantrum! And these are middle schoolers who should know better than to act like this!!!!

My how I gave my mother a hard time, as a teenager. LOL She made me clean my room, and on Saturdays I helped her clean the house top to bottom. At age 13 she started making me fix 3 meals a week (supper) for the family. She was there to supervise if needed and answer questions, but the planning and cooking or baking was all my responsibility. I did this until I moved out of the house until 19. Oh I hated doing it!!!

But my hubby thanked her many times before she died, for teaching his wife hwo to take care of him, the house and how to cook and bake! LOL And yes, I thanked her as well!!! Now I love cooking, and baking, and I enjoy taking care of my family and the house.

God's Blessings,
Amy Jo

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09:30, Wednesday, August 27, 2008 .. Posted by Sara
I was always expected to help, just like amy jo. I had just as many chores as my parents did, from dishes, to laundry, to yard work, and caring for my younger siblings. My mom was very sick when I was a teenager, and I was so glad I had been taught to care for my family so that I could help her out. I didn't always enjoy it, but am so thankful these things were taught to me.

Now I'm trying to raise my kids up in the same way. They all love to help, and sometimes it takes me twice as long to do the work with them, but once they learn then they'll be able to do it by themselves and will take a few tasks off of my shoulders.

Thanks for sharing this, it was a great post!

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