My Heart's Desire

The Hard Questions in Life

I have been blessed with one of the most tenacious, strong and courageous children in the entire world. Yet, I find it difficult to answer his tough questions. You see, at birth, Nathaniel died and was brought back. The damage to his brain caused Cerebral Palsy. Nathaniel has fought for everything in life. He has been in Physical and Occupational Therapy since he was 2 months old. Nathaniel had to be taught how to swallow without choking, sit up, crawl, walk, climb stairs, how to fall without majorly hurting himself. Everything that comes so naturally with most children was long delayed and hard earned. His heart is hurting right now because he is tired of fighting and does not understand why God allowed his brain to be hurt. The really difficult part is that he is cognitively very bright and fully understands that he is "different" than other kids. It is such a painful thing to watch your child struggle so. We have been feeding him regular doses of the truth. The truth about his condition (he first asked why when he was 5 yrs old), the truth of our love for him, and most importantly the truth of God's word! He is fearfully and wonderfully made. He is a child of God. God has a plan for his future and his prosperity. I know that we will face these questions again as he grows up, but it got me thinking.... How many times am I trapped in the questioning of God?  Why am I the way I am? Why did you let me struggle so? Why did you let someone I love die? Why? Why? Why? Are you trapped in the Whys? Feast on the truth of God's word. You are fearfully and wonderfully made! You (if a believer) are a child of the King! He has plans for you to prosper and future full of hope! His ways are higher than your ways! Rest in the truth, the answers to why will not change the present, and once we have reached Glory all our whys will be answered and the beautiful artwork of our lives will come in to complete focus!

Marcia