Mothers Who Know

Growing out of "it" Part Two

So, here we are with now five children, starting to feel a little overwhelmed at times. It started to get more tiring. We spent a year betweeen building a house, and moving into the new one, with a stop at my parents house for four months in between. By the time we moved I was so exhausted, at that point, I was hoping we were done having children.

Once we got settled, things improved to the point that I again was hoping that we would have more children. A few months later, I got pregnant. With the pregnancy, and the tiredness that came with it, came again, that exhausted feeling. Our computer crashed, my best friends and supports moved out of state, and so by the time I had the baby, and the kids starting misbehaving during homeschooling again, I decided to let them try school.  They attended for a year and a half.  Nobody's behavior got better, I just didnt have to deal with it all day long. In some instances, it got worse. I noticed that they were not getting along with each other as well as they had prior to school. My oldest daughter, was being made to feel bad at school, because she liked being with her family.

They all came back home, and at first, it was so great. I couldn't believe I had let them go to school!! I so loved having them all home. I was able to recapture my vision of why I wanted a large homeschooling family. I loved my children more than ever. As the days wore on, and the newness of being together wore off though, the behavior challenges came back.

The three year old that had blamed everyone, was now a twelve year old, that blamed everyone - not so cute. The little girl that had been like a hurricane, had mellowed out around age 8, but still wouldn't cooperate unless she wanted too. The little girl who as a baby wouldn't acknowledge people talking to her, was a seven year old with no respect for anyone's authority. (Which believe it or not, I still convinced myself was good, as when she did behave, she was really choosing to behave, she wasn't behaving out of fear) My little boy was still calling me names, and was very defiant towards me.

I want to point out again, however, that they were not always like this. They had very good days. We were complimented every time we went somewhere, especially when we went out to eat. The children amazed us with what they were capable of when they tried. They would set the table up and make it all fancy and make lunch. My oldest could cook pretty well, and behaved excellent for everyone else - I was always hearing compliments about him. My oldest, Cata, was an absolute miracle worker with the babies - they would go to her like a second mother. Ashes was my artist, and very creative. They weren't 'bad' kids, they just had struggles here and there - mostly at home with me. That is why it took so long for me to finally realize that my "grow out of it" strategy wasn't working.

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03:30, Saturday, January 12, 2008 .. Posted by rildapeel1

There is one thing about it~Children do not come with instruction books. So we learn as we go and grow. We as women are usually everything to everybody and they look to us to make them happy. I discovered that isn't going to work when they get older for they must make them ownselves happy. With that discovery I then worked on making me happy and guilt free. Hallelujah it worked. Hehe! I speak God's peace, wisdom, love, comfort, and all that He has for you to be yours this year in 2008. May all your needs be met and all be well with your precious ones. In Jesus' Holy Name! *U* rilda

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10:21, Saturday, January 12, 2008 .. Posted by Anonymous

I know exactly how you feel, but now mine are all grown up and gone and I would love to do it over again, and of course I would do it perfectly this time LOL. I have some dear friends that were homeschoolers too. Their currriculum centered around around the gospel. Spelling words came from Conference report talks, Scriptures, Church magazines. Etc. What you are doing is hard, but rewarding, I know that the Lord will bless your efforts.It all goes by too fast!!!!!!!!!!!! jodalton

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04:34, Thursday, January 17, 2008 .. Posted by micandme

I have a 5 year old like that 12 year old you mentioned... any tips? Sigh....

~Michelle