Mothers Who Know

Conversion Part One

I ran into an old friend tonight, that I knew back before I had converted and  during my conversion process, and we were reminiscing, so I thought that might be a good topic for tonights entry.

I was brought up to celebrate Christian holidays, but other than that had really no religion as a kid. We never went to church, or sunday school, or any kind of anything. I actually got quite negative impressions from them about organized religion. I used to envy my cousin that got to church, and my friends that got to go to church classes during the week. I was told I should be grateful that I didnt have to go, or that I was lucky.

As I got older, I took a turn for the worse when I hit seventeen. I wasnt close to being perfect before then, but having the whole image of "sweet 16" in my head there were certain things that were out of the question. I know this sounds odd, but once I wasn't 16 anymore, there were no restrictions to my behavior. I couldn't come up with a good enough reason not to do what everyone else was doing. I continued down this path, until I met my future husband. We were set up on a blind date, and as we started to date, i started to mellow out.

We were married about a year or so after we started seriously dating, and my first son was born the next fall. We were immediately thrown full force into parenting when my son had a rash that wouldn't go away. Long story short, after watching your son go through (at seven months) a spinal tap, bone scan, and light doses of chemo for a few months, you grow up. The closeness and bond that my husband and I gained through that, I think would have taken years to develop if it wasnt for that.

Next winter, as everything had settled down, I had come full circle and was once again interested in looking for a church. I wanted my son, and me, to belong to a church. SInce I hadnt belonged to one ever, I had created what I thought church should be like. I figured it would be like your family. You should know everyone, you should build your life around it. You should be committed to it. You should go every week. The fact that I still didn't really know if God actually existed didnt even bother me at that point. I just hoped He did, and figured in time that knowledge would come.

So I started attending the church in the center of town. Something felt missing, but having no doctrinal background at all, all I could go on was my feelings.

Untitled Comment

09:15, Friday, November 16, 2007 .. Posted by morningsunshine

I love it! thank you for sharing, I cannot wait to read more!