First I met a really neat Godly woman that radiated peace. I really don't think I had ever been exposed to someone that had peace. Not just a fake worldly peace, but a deep seated indescribable peace. She stirred a hunger in me for that. I started looking at her and her walk with God. I believed in God. I called myself a Christian. I had no use for organized religion. (still don't have much :) ) I can look back and see how badly “religion” had hurt me as a child, but that is another rabbit trail. As I got to know her and met others that were really walking with God, not going to “church”. I started to see the difference in Living for God and Living for Religion. I started reading my Bible. I found some non traditional churches to attend. Some I grew out of, some died. I fed my hunger for God by spending time with Him. By putting Him first. I am not sure how many years ago in a Bible Study God opened my eyes to the need to put Him first. That was before coffee, and eek, before Internet time. That was hard! What if the friend I wanted to talk to got off? What if someone I knew had a question and I knew the answer? I bought a Yearly Bible and started reading what ever it said for each day. I have been putting Him first every day since. Seldom do I not spend time with Him, in His Word before I spend time with even my husband. I plan my day no matter what time we are getting up to be up 15 minutes earlier to do my “Bible Time”. My kids know they have 2 choices if they get up before I am done, either be quite or go back upstairs.

Over the years I have weeded out my friends that aren't growing in God. I have surrounded myself with people that are hungry for God, and more of Him. I have read and read and read books about God, about the Holy Spirit. I have such a long way to go, but as I lay down me to Him and fill me up with Him the growth gets easier. The depth of my walk is into places I didn't know there were. My relationship with God is deeper than I even knew or was ever told God was.

Do I still struggle? Do I want to do sinful things? Yes, I struggle, but not so much in wanting to do things I know will displease God, but in just falling short of where I want to be with Him. Most often my falling short is in being a wife and mother. I just don't have that down to where I want it to be.

I also learned to write letters to God. I don't do this all time, but do when things are not sorting out in my head. At about the same time I bought my yearly Bible I was given the plan on how to build a Prayer Journal. I did this. It was really easy and a great way to learn to pray.

Take a loose leaf notebook of any size. I like the ones about 5x8. Take some card stock and cut it to make dividers. You will need 8 dividers. One for every day of the week and one for daily. Now start building. I had to decorate mine, but you could just write daily prayers on your divider. This will be where you pray what is on your heart each morning. Just dump it all out for God. Doesn't have to even make sense. Behind this do the days of the week on dividers. This is what or who you pray for each day besides your daily prayers.

On Monday you will pray for your family. This is your children, spouse, who ever is your family.

Then on Tuesday pray for Friends.

Wednesday is personal stuff.

Thursday is Finances.

Friday is Illness.

Saturday is the Military, National leaders....

Sunday is your Church Family.

When I started I felt really silly doing this. I didn't know how to talk to God. I had heard all these rehearsed prayers and they sounded really good. As I got to know God I came to understand He wants our heart, not our rehearsed prayers. I didn't and still don't let anyone read my journal. That is between God and I. If I write something I feel led to share with someone then I will share that page. Over time I learned to listen and write as God spoke to me. I have some awesome conversations written down. Most of the time it was just me pouring my heart out to Him.

Doing this did help me understand how to talk to God. It helped me understand that I don't have to be perfect or have a great need for God to want me to seek Him out. Just as I like my children to seek me out and just visit, so does God. He is there when things are tough, but He is also there when things are wonderful or just “normal”. If we think of Him as our parent, or for some the dream parent, not the kind we had, but the kind we saw on TV, and think how much we want to share the good and the bad with our parents, God wants it even more. He doesn't just want us to pick up the phone and call when we need money. He wants to hear about our good day. About the flower we saw that He put in our path just for us to notice. About the funny thing our children said or did. Just about our life!