We put W on the plane yesterday morning about 9:30.  I did really well, no tears, that anyone noticed.  I did almost loose it when he hugged me goodbye and clung to me in that way all moms know.   Will he be willing to change his life and come live here?   Tough choices for an adult to make, much less a 14 yo.  I know he needs a say.  I just wish he had trusted adults in his life that could really help him weigh everything.   I do like his case worker, but who knows how many kids she has to "help".   Foster parents have 9 kids in the home.   I can't see a lot of time for help.  If you feel led just pray that God puts people in his life to help him make this decision or that the Holy Spirit works in him to know the right choice.  It really would be life changing.  We want God's will in this not man's. 

The kids have ask if I miss W several times since he left.  Last night I was SOOOOOOOOOO tired that when MN ask I almost lost it.  She has already ask this morning if I miss him.  I think she really enjoyed him.  They are very alike in personalities.  Loving to tease and pick on others.  This gave her a good outlet to tease.  MJ doesn't get teasing very well.  T just squeaky/wines "QuiiiiiiiiiiiTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT"  Drives ME nuts!   She swears she doesn't miss him.  He is "annoying".  Like she isn't!  

Today is get back in the swing of life as normal as normal gets around here.  We didn't do a lot of the babies born Sat. and Sun.  I was just to beat Sunday night .  So we will catch all of them we can.  I need to get laundry done today.  The high tomorrow is 50 something.  Not even sure what.  I saw the 5 and the rest didn't matter to darn cold for me!   The wind is blowing so keeping clothes on the line will be the challenge.

I also want to start Thanksgiving stuff.  I need to get my pie crust made so that is behind me.   I want to tweak my menu to reflect our better eating.  Even if I do that we still won't eat as healthy but that's OK, it is once a year! 

I am having a teary morning.  Guess my weekend has caught up with me.  Lots of emotions flowing and being held in check all weekend so this morning I am drippy.  Kids haven't caught on yet.  Good part of not turning lights on to play on the computer.  They are busy doing their school.  MN will be the one that catches on.  She is very sensitive to emotions.  She will also look at me and nod her head when I tell her why I am drippy.  Such an old soul in a 10 yo body! 

I have to admit of a morning I love the time change, but of an evening I hate it!  I love getting up and it not being hours until daylight.  But, it makes evening chores so much harder/earlier.  We will never be done with chores before dark.  At least we have lights in the barn.  I just have to remember to not wait to late to start checking the nannies.  Also,  with the time change Dh won't be home before dark until the time changes again.

Yesterday after we left the airport I was reading my Bible.  Dh had grabbed the Bibles for Church.  He didn't grab the one I usually use for Church.  This one has 4 versions in it.  We are studying Jude.  I decided to read it in the Message as I waited on Dh to run in the store.  These words just jumped off the page at me. 

Relax, every thing's going to be all right; rest, every thing's coming together; open your hearts, love is on the way!  

Am I looking for a sign, or was God sending me a comforting sign.  Does anyone else struggle with knowing if they are reading more into something because they want it than what God intended, yet knowing God does give us signs and comfort?   Does that even make any sense to anyone?   Either way I am holding on to them.  They are the Word of God and they speak to my heart.  I do need to relax and know everything is going to be ok, even if it isn't the way my human mind sees it. God does have a plan and He will bring it all together in His time.  I have to keep my heart open and allow His working to take place. Not mine.   I can't "fix" I can't "make it happen".  This is a God thing!  He will bring it to completion in His time.  I have to wait upon Him.  Not what I do best, but I am learning! 

I have rambled way more probably than I should.  If you took the time to read this post a commit so I know I am not talking to myself. 

Everyone have a very blessed day!