At Home in Georgia

God's Goodness and Our Perspective

You might know that in August I went back to work as a nurse at our tiny local hospital after a 5 year "break" to be a full-time stay-at-home-mommy.  I never planned on going back to work until my children were at least in high school (if we decided to send them to private school at that time) or possibly even college. 

Although I would only be working one 12-hour shift a week, I did NOT want to do it, and I really struggled with disappointment and anger that I couldn't just continue focusing completely on my family and home.  I also had a very hard time dealing with all of the articles and wonderful encouragement and testimonies of moms who stayed home and God provided needs because of their committment to not go back to work when times got tough.  I was afraid maybe we really WEREN'T trusting God enough, and making this decision out of fear and lack of faith.  Our main reason for my going back was to save money to buy a used van to replace our worn-out, ready-to-die van, and to get out of our remaining debt.  There's so much to this story, I can't type it all out, but that's the background in a nutshell.  :)

Anyway, 7 months later, God is helping me to handle the whole situation much better.  Whether our decision was the right one or not, God has blessed us amazingly anyway.  That's what is so breathtaking about God's goodness - that even when we doubt and stumble and don't know where we are going, He still holds us and protects us and loves us. 

The 12 hours that I'm away from my family each week has made me appreciate them even more.  During that time our children have special time with Daddy all to themselves.  Daddy appreciates me a bit more after having them all to himself for a day, too.  :)  I've been able to make a difference in the lives of my patients for the 12 hours I spend caring for them.  I appreciate our extended family more after being reminded briefly each week that most families nowadays are broken, fracture, or at least strained and unhappy.  It's shattered my "tunnel vision" that has come as I've chosen to surround myself with uplifting, encouraging friends, books, etc., which are all wonderful and edifying, but in doing that, I chose to shut out the realities of a hurting, dying world that exists beyond my church and home. 

Although I'd NEVER encourage another SAHM to go back to work for any of those reasons, God has chosen to take this situation and teach me and bless us through it.  And these are the things I've learned.  It's still difficult and I still feel sick every time I have to leave and I still miss having my whole weekend to be with my entire family - I can't deny that.  It's not easy to jump into the medical world for that short period of time and still try to keep up with all the changes and information that I'm responsible to keep up with.

This past weekend, we received the news that Carter's grandfather in Arizona is failing fast and most of his sons and grandsons are planning a trip out to AZ to see him for what everyone believes will be the last time.  In the past, this wouldn't have ever been an option for us to consider.  But it was with such peace that I could agree with my husband that he needed to be there too.  And even more interestingly, I had agreed to work 2 days this weekend instead of one to help with staffing issues.  What I made in that extra day will almost cover the cost of his airline ticket. 

God continues to amaze us with His grace.

~Michelle

No Time to Blog!

You can sure tell it's spring... we're back to feeling like there just aren't enough hourse in the day.  I did read an article in "Above Rubies" today, though, that was a great reminder to slow it down a bit and find times of rest and relaxation together as a family.

I have finally succumbed to some sort of bug.  I made it for 7 months working back at the hospital and thru 5 months of flu season without so much as a sniffle, but after fighting off "something" for about a week, it finally won.  It's just a nasty cold, but it's really the first thing I've had in ages.  I'm so thankful to God for His gift to our family of a very healthy winter.

It's beautiful here again.  In the upper 60s.  I have a few things planted in my garden and gradually more and more things starting inside.  Lettuce, broccoli, tomatoes inside and lettuce, carrots, broccoli, and peas outside.  We'll see what makes it and what doesn't.  I'm keeping very close notes on what sprouts and when.  Almost all of our inside things have sprouted and come up very quickly.  Now if I can just keep them alive!

While I've been feeling a bit rotten, I've been trying to catch up on a few indoor cleaning projects (just the usual vacuuming, bathrooms, etc., that have been left behind as we've worked outside and I've been on a sewing rampage). 

So with all of this, there's just no time to blog!  :)

~Michelle