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the ILs and FIL's 806

This was an 806 that FIL used to own and one of his nephews friend's tracked it down and restored it. So the nephew asked the man if he could bring it out after MIL's funeral (that day). (please note that is DH on the tractor, FIL walking away and the nephew who drove it over (and called me a heifer and said that it was a compliment!)

a small portion of the ppl at the ILs:

Tuesday--coming home & Joey's birthday

We had to sort thru the thank yous and flowers, etc. There were at least 2 van loads of flowers brought to teh house! Lots of statues and bedding stones as well. Actually a lot of duplicates cuz those places only carry so many kinds and they got TONS.

I vacuumed and cleaned up from the night before (the trash). There was evidence that  some had helped to clean up a bit, for which I was VERY grateful! But I still needed to vacuum, empty the dishwasher and I had 4 loads of laundry (sheets and towels and one load of clothes) to do. A close friend of DH's (neighbor) came overa nd while PgSIL and Dh worke don sorting out memorial gifts, she and I started in on the 300 thank yous that we had.................UGH! Finding addresses was VERY time consuming! And there were probalby 5 ppl taht we didn't know who they were so SIL will have to call family adn find out to let them know. But we got almost all of that done. I had sent DH to town on Friday to get stamps so almost all of them are stamped. Actually almost all of them were ready to send out by the time I left. There were some ppl who had brought and helped to serve food for the funeral dinner left to do, but we had addresses on alot of them.

Meanwhile, after the funeral, pgSIL's family told them that her MIL was in the hospital cuz she had a seizure and broke her shoulder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So they were trying to work all that in on Tuesday as well! She was being transferred to a bigger hospital, etc.

I wanted to leave so that I wouldn't be driving after dark since my contacts were STILL giving me fits, but that didnt' work out. By the time we got most of that done and walked out the door, it was nearly 5 IN time. ANd I stopped for supper (since it was Joey's bday) and did remember to get gas while stopped, but I was so tired that I got on the wrong ramp and was headed on 70 WEST instead of EAST! Thankfully it was only 4 miles to the next exit, but UGH! Dh even caught up w/us! I called him and I was at mile marker 91 nad he was at mile marker 92!ROTFL! So he followed us home and we got unloaded. I had no intention of unpacking but did anyway.

Today has just been 'dry cleaning' their suits and then NOTHING. The boys are watching TV and playing Knex and hotwheels all day.

FIl called this am and said that over 1050 ppl signed the registry! That doesn't count all of those who couldn't even get in the funeral home!

MIL touched so so so many lives.............

Funeral

We were told to be back at 9 for more visitation and then the service was at 11. We managed to get there about 20 after. We were just all so tired and w/Mat reading and the long day ahead, we opted to let the boys sleep a little bit.

I specifically asked my mom to be at hte funeral home at TEN to watch the boy and work w/Mat on his reading. We had been working w/him since they picked it and he had it down, but I wasn't sure how worked up he was going to be. His cousins had gotten him pretty worked up the night before. FIL is not handling this well at all and some kind, but misguided ppl had made some comments that I needed to correct. Thankfully Mat had just studied a unit on angels and I was able to use that to build from and we talked about how God created us to praise and worship Him adn that gma was now doing that and  so very, very happy and painfree. So I told mom to keep an eye on him and make sure that he didnt' get worked up. We also told him that he had to sit between Dh adn I before his reading and that he could sit w/his cousins after that.

So we greeted lots more ppl and then headed over for the funeral. As previously mentioned, I am NOT Catholic and how it wound up that *I*, the clueless protestant, was right behind the casket is beyond me, but Father is great in these types of situations and thankfully by then the boys had figured out that we just were going w/the flow so it was fine.

Mat was AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He did an AWESOME job reading! Dh asked him during hte service if he wanted him to go up w/him and Mat said no. You'd have thought Mat had done that 100 times! Even his tone and flexion (Sp?) were great!  He's done some group speaking so it wasn't entirely new, but still. A neice (Mat's age) also sang a solo (the only hymn taht they knew MIL wanted, but not very many ppl knew it so it worked out great) and she did an AWESOME job as well!

They service itself was soooooooooooo nice. It all screamed MIL, which is what you want. Not to mention that I LOVE when the clergy really KNOW the deceased!

And something that Joey said was the theme of the homily (sermon)!!!!!!!!!!! At  first FIL was driving me nuts telling everyoen that Joey told him taht it was OK to die (a conversation taht *I* had had w/Joey!LOL).  FIL drew great comfort from this and had told Fr about it and so that was the theme!  So between Fr knowing MIL and how it all came out, it was wonderful. There were actually FOUR priests at the service. One was asked and the other three thought so much of MIL that THEY asked to officiate!

It was very very hot that day, but there was a very strong wind that while did NOTHING for your hair, it did keep you from sweltering. So the graveside service was nice.

Then back to the hall for the funeral dinner. They  had underestimated the number of ppl. Everyone got food, but there was NOTHING to speak of to take back to the house! They were frantically setting up more place settings for ppl, too.

And lots of ppl came up and commented on what a great job Mat did! Of course, it's obvious that I'm his mom (or relation) since we are the only ones w/flaming red hair!LOL One group asked me if I taught him everything I know. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say so I said that yes, since I homeschool, I did. They were floored! Apparently HSled children, by this age, aren't supposed to know how to read or speak in public!ROTFL!

It all just spoke so highly of what ppl thought of MIL and that was very comforting to FIL and sibs.

And as a funny, a bunch of the nephews (grown men) got shirts nad ripped the sleeves off like FIL does on the farm and came parading out.;) He thought that was so funny!

Then back to the house where ALL (over 100) the familly came. I think the last person left at 10????? It was a long, but wonderful day.

Visitation

What a hectic day! Since I hadnt' cleaned the night before, there was a TON to do since I knew the house was going to be deluged w/ppl. I asked DH to help me and we got clean towels, emptied all the trash cans, vacuumed, sort the recycling, etc, etc. Unfortunately, there was no time for ME to get ready for church so they all went and I wound up doing more cleaning. I knew it was going to be hte only time I'd have between then and now to get it done and there would be over a hundred ppl on Monday after the service. Plus it gave me a few minutes of peace and quiet, that were very precious to me. After the mass, Fr took Mat up to the lecturn and showed him the footstoola nd where to stand and had him speak into the microphone since Mat was going to be a reader. We also had to ask Fr since we didn't know that they only let 18+yo serve as speakers. Fr said it was fine.

nonpgSIL went to a different time service and she was there and got started finishign up the remaining picture  boards. DH had sorted them by MIL, MIL & FIL, MIL & friends, MIL and gchildren, etc, etc so SIL just had to stick them on. They were having a hard time making them stick tho.:( They got it worked out when DH called and SIL had him get double sided tape. They weren't all our pics and we needed to return some. DH frantically went to work on getting the DVD burnt. His sisters use Macs and he uses a PC and it was just kind of funny to listen to them talk about it all.

My parents had come out early and Dh asked that everyone  but his 2 sisters go out to eat for lunch. I don't know what he wanted to do, but he knew they'd get all those pics done alot faster w/o us in their hair. So we had a nice brunch out and then back to the house.

However since the pictures took much longer than expected (as does everything), everyone else needed to leave to get ready for the viewing and that left Dh adn I to run in ALL the stuff and set up the funeral home. We got there and started setting up. I had wanted to find a few minutes to go see MIL ALONE and knew this would be my opportunity and was trying to figure out how to make it work. I was super engrossed in helping Dh set up t he bridge table and 2 ladies came over and said they needed me. They each grabbed and elbow and sudderly I realized that I was in the room w/the casket and I was heading straight for it!!!!!!!!!!!! I had only been in that funeral home one other time, many years ago. It's a very small home and it was PACKED and there weren't even ppl in it yet! But they wanted me to see how she looked. I had heard that 'Shirley' was doing her hair and that it would be good. IT WAS NOT! No fault of Shirley's mind you, but the cancer had ravaged her body so much, but it took a big toll on her. She'd always had thick, short, unruly tresses and what I saw was about as opposite of that as you could imagine! They were pulling me by both elbows to the casket and I wasn't coming up w/a reason to bolt and was trying to get DH cuz I didn't know how to politely tell this lady (who is a family friend) that this was NOT going to suffice! Finally I got my head cranked around enuf to see Dh, who came over and asked them to try the wig. (I had no knowledge of a wig!) He also told them to MESS UP HER HAIR! They worked on her hair some more while we finished trying ot find spots for everything--we had so many pics (not just picture boards), her paintings (first one!) and the brigde table. I don't remember what else. I made lots of lists!ROTFL! But they called us back ove rand it looked MUCH better.

So we rush back to the house to get us and the boys ready and made it to the funeral home on time. It was naturally horrible and I was further mortified when I looked up and saw my PARENTS in the funeral home and walked over and aske dthem to leave. My mom proceded to give me grief about not telling her hte right time. I told her that I DID tell her hte right time--4 o'clock CENTRAL time--NOT EASTERN! So they left!LOL Ppl started pouring in about 3:45 and the next few hours are a blur. I left the line a few times to go check on Joey since my mom did NOT stay! UGH! He's not a bad boy, but he's jsut too young to be left unsupervised for long periods of time. My sister made it thru the line and said that she saw a picture board going tumbling to the ground and BIL caught it and the easel and she was thinking, who's kid is THIS? Joey! One of SIL's friends came thru (mid-40s) and said that Joey had goosed her (he doesn't know what that is so I"m n ot sure what exactly he did) and I apologized and she said that at her age, it was the biggest thrill she got anymore!LOL I left once to check on him to hear a chorus of cousins yelling that Joey was in the bathroom pooping w/the door open............. Did I mention that I coudlnt' see cuz of my contacts,  adn between that and the weatheer front I had a poudning heacache? I had gotten the advil out and left them on the bed! (Dh got his taken) Then I suddenly got super hot (Dh adn I managed to be right next to the casket under those spot lights) and a cousin came around w/a stool and I had DH get it. My jacket came off and I was desperately trying not to throw up. I was very grateful that I really didn't know anyone and could just smile, shake hands and mumble 'thank  you'. The hugging ppl were harder cuz I had to move........ I sent my oldest nephew off for tylenol and he returned promptly so I could down that and I did eventually cool down enuf to tamper the nausea.

We knew the line was bad. Most ppl were saying that it was 1.5 hour wait and it had rained, 100 degrees and obviously horrible humidity. We were very grateful for those who perservered that and very understanding of those who called or stopped by later (at the house) to give their condolences, but that their elderly parent or infant couldnt' handle standing outside in the weather for that amount of time.

The amount of flowers and gifts were enormous. There wasn't room for everything in the main room and it was lined all up and down the hall where ppl were waiting. It worked since all those picture boards and paintings were out there.

It was very difficult getting FIL away from the casket that night. They don't have 'breaks' in visitation times so once you are there, you are up there until the ppl stop coming. It was so overwhelming.

I was very glad that I had cleaned in the morning cuz I was very worthless after that very, very long day.

Saturday

It was getting down to crunch time to get things squared away for the services. We had come up w/the idea of getting the foamboard and some fabric to cover it and use that cheap satin ribbon to make those photo boards for the funeral home. Well foamboard is NOT cheap at walmart as I found out, but t he funeral  home gave us 6 sheets that were much bigger (and thankfully the fabric fit those!) so I returned the stuff I bought. Again, lots of trips to walmart that day. His aunt drove me twice, bless her heart. My contacts were starting to give me fits and I didn't pack my glasses (or my meds.....) so I was trying to avoid certain activities........like seeing!LOL  Again, lots of family was there so I asked a couple of MIL's nieces to make the boards (it needed ot be done and it was something that 'anyone' could do) and they spent A LONG FRUSTRATING time gettign them done! We were very grateful tho cuz the sibs were still sorting pics and I was running around like a chicken w/my head cut off answering the phone, and putting out small fires. But it all got done. PgSIL was making a DVD of pics w/music to play at hte funeral home while nonpgSIL was sorting thru pics.

DH hadn't slept much the night before (I actually woke up unable to breathe. I was startled and remembered where I was and why I was there and realized that DH had a death grip around me and worked my arms loose enuf to where I could take IN air!LOL). He came up w/some ideas for the funeral home as well. MIL LOVED bridge so he called one of her bridge friends and asked her if she'd set up a bridge table at the funeral home. And he had some pics that he'd thought of, etc.

It was again, a long night w/lots of family and 2 of the 6 picture boards were done. The DVD was complete, but they couldnt' get it to transfer to the DVD or something. It was sor tof funny. MIL was 'techno-challenged' as we called her and here for her funeral, there were 3 laptops sorting pics, and one making a DVD for her!LOL

My poor nephew. He's 14 nad taking this pretty hard. He loves to cook and he had basically moved in w/the ILs to help out. So he felt like that kitchen was his. I was trying to be as considerate as possible, but he's not big on cleaning up and finally pgSIL got on him about some things and it went better. I eventually had to tell him that I was sorry about all of this, but that he could not arrange the kitchen as he saw fit. That we had too much food coming in and trash, etc, etc, for him to be doing those kinds of things. PgSIL showed up w/some refrig cookie dough so we had him cook those (and he made a huge mess then I had to clean up!), which helped since we forbade him from cooking since there was NO NEED and I could barely keep up w/the kitchen the way it was. When I left on Tues, they'd just gotten in from school and I told him that he could have his kitchen back now.;)

I skipped cleaning that  night cuz I was just to tired. I did run the dishwasher.

Friday, Mat's birthday

I spent alot of time cleaning up. A lot. 50-60 ppl went thru that house everyday. I had quickly inventoried things and had a list of things to buy a walmart in preparation for the influx of ppl. So I got up Friday and we told Mat Happy Bday and I got busy vacuuming, emptying the dishwasher, doing towels (we were going thru hand towels like water) and working on the kitchen.

FIL's brother came over and WHAT A BLESSING! We got him to get FIL out of the house. FIL had a watch being repaired at a jeweler and it needed picked up so his brother took him there and to get some coffee. Mat went along for the ride.

FIL is a frugal man at heart. To a fault. Several years ago MIL had a short stint in the hospital and cleaned out he frig then and found salad dressing bottles many, many YEARS old. Same was true on that day. I asked DH to help me by telling me what food had been brought in yesterday so I didnt' pitch the fresh stuff and we tore thru the frig and got a ton of stuff cleared out adn taken to pgSIL's so that he couldn't pick back thru it and put it back (what he's famous for!LOL). By then pgSIL was there and we got rid of all the meds, hospital paraphenalia and other 'cancer reminders' as they called them. FIL would walk around and see something and pick it up crying saying that he should've done more and this was her pills for XYZ and he should've made her take more or something. So in the hour his brother kept him out, we got ALL of that kind of stuff done and I ran it into town to get it totally out of hte house (some things needed taken back to the pharmacy, some dropped off at friends, etc). It was honestly one of the most needed things there was and it was good for his brother, too.

They have another (youngest) brother and he and FIL haven't spoken in a LONG time and he came out Thrusday night. FIL told him that all he wants now is his brother back..........the brother made several appearances and was civil and seemed geniune so we are hoping that this might be a road to repair their relationship.

SIL also has a wonderful friend who bought LOTS of clothing for those who needed, took suits to cleaners and pressed clothes too! In addition to all of that, SHE BOUGHT MY BOYS BDAY GIFTS!!!!!!! She was so wonderful.  We had told the boys that we probably would not do anything on their bdays and this was a big surprize! MIL had told them what she was going to buy them and the poor lady went to FIVE radio shacks trying to hunt down a metal detector for Mat!

I don't know how many trips I made to walmart that day. There were many ppl who stopped by and DH and his sibs were trying to get thru pics and finish up funeral details (yes, still!). SIL is an avid photographer and I don't even know how many pics they went thru......it took 2 days in all to get thru them!

That night some more of FIL's family came over and we sat outside talking and enjoying and someone had brought a pan of brownies and that became the 'birthday brownies'. I had bought some plates and candles at Walmart and each of the boys picked out a small gift for each other and so they all sang Happy Birthday to the boys and they  opened their gifts.

It was again a late night and lots of clean up, but worth it all.

Getting to IL

DH called back later that morning after pretending to sleep and I packed everything that he wanted. I had waited until the boys got up to pack them. I worked on packing myself as well. I still have lots of little things to get done and we needed to go to town before we left.

I managed to get all of that done and since I didn't have time to look at a map, I used this fantastic GPS to give me directions to the ILS. OMW! WHAT A NIGHTMARE! It's a big joke anyway cuz I didn't want it, I don't think it works half the time and my mom and DH swear by it. So as the ultimate prank, it sent me thru every small town under construction on the planet and I was driving all over downtown Indy and finally saw that a block ahead was an exit to I70 (my goal!) and went even tho the GPS was telling me to TURN RIGHT! As soon as I ' disobeyed' the GPS, my arrival time dropped by 30min!ROTFL!!!!!!! I was so happy to be on I70, that if I hadn't had to use the bathroom so badly, I'd have stopped and kissed the pavement! We were in some seriously bad parts of Indy adn I was just happy to BE SORT OF SAFE!!!!!!!!

I called right before I was to be out of roam and they had gone to the funeral home to make arrangements. So we finished the journey w/relative ease. I was very happy to get there and walk around tho (it took us about 5 hours). Joey had cried cuz he wanted McD french fries and we stopped at a BK instead. Finally after 30 min he settled down. We were all out of sorts and I was very tired and just let alot of things go.

They were back from the funeral home by then. Well not pgSIL cuz she thought he water had broken so she was at the hospital getting check out. Thankfully all was well. It'd have been OK for Ethan healthwise, but it was just something that we all were wanting to wait to celebrate.;)

FIL's side showed up w/supper and support and issues were still being decided. MIL didn't want a visitaion, but that was simply not possible. She had left very little funeral plans so they were trying to find ppl to read and casket bearers, etc. They are wonderful ppl out there and there was so much support and things were done. Since I"m not from there and not Catholic, even tho I've been around for many years, many things were foriegn to me and I was not accustomed to their customs and it was frustrating at times. I was the 'go to' person for many things and I was often answerless, but could at least guide them to the person to ask.

It was very nice to see DH tho. I was worried about him and needed to se him. It was obviously a late night again and the boys seemed to be handling things pretty good.

MIL passed away

Sorry I went MIA, but we had bad storms rip thru here that night and the wireless towers were knocked out.;(

I had tried to call DH from 10-midnight last Wed and since they were in the ER, he could only call from outside. But a policeman had been shot and the entire hospital was on lockdown for 2 hours. So DH called after that and updated me. I got to bed about 1 and at 2, the winds were so awful they woke me. I knew storms were coming thru, but they were all supposed to be north. I figured the beach towel on the back of the deck was long gone, but 'something' told me to go look. I heard this banging noise and it was the porch canopy hanging on by one peg banging into the roof! If it had gotten loose, it would've done some major damage to the house (broken windows, shingles, etc). So I fought 40mph winds wrestling that thing over my head and finally got it shoved in the house, along w/the cushion, pillows and beach towel. I checked the news and nothing was updated so I got back to sleep about 3am. Dh called at 5 saying that his mom has passed and to get things packed up and head out.

Once she knew he was coming, she refused pain meds so that she would be lucid when he got there. They all got a chance to talk and then she went back on the meds cuz she was in excruciating pain. Her children were all present when she passed.

FIL is taking this reallly hard. He really thought she was going to come home from the hospital. he needs any prayers that anyone will pray for him.

Prayer request

MIL went to the ER

FIl just called. MIL went to the ER last night w/lots of pain so she's on morphine now. He was very upset and had very obviously had not gotten much sleep. He said she MIGHT have pneumonia, but they are running more tests and something about red and white things (I'm assuming blood cell counts, but....). I did find out that both his sisters are there so I got ahold of DH and he said that he'd call them to find out how serious it is. This isn't a knock to his dad, he's just doesnt' think like that and gets too upset to hear what the docs say.

While he called, Joey wondered out so while trying to extract info from FIL, I took Joey's temp and it was 97.3! NORMAL! YES!!!!! Hopefully he stays that way and he's now eating a piece of bread (yes, plain) and he requested sprite since he was sick. As long as he keeps all of that down, we are good to go in that arena!

MIL update

MIL update

MIL's no longer doing chemo. We found out last night. I don't know how long it will take. I've got to let DHahve time to process this and then ask him about going out in June.

MIL update

MIL update: They got a qt of fluid off the lung. If it fills back up, that's it. There is nothing more they can do for her. So it's a wait and see thing. In theory she gets released MOnday and they are setting up hospice.

Things look rather bleak right now and pgSIL said that MIL's not been eating much of anything lately.......

MIL update

My pretty flowers!

These are the flowers MIL sent me!

MIL

Things are going pretty good! I've got DH's laptop that sort of has high speed at least!LOL  Today I only needed to do one load of laundry adn I got groceries since we are having MOther's Day tonight at nonpgSILs. I've made lots of phone calls today too. And helped FIL w/his new cell phone and he caught me up to speed about one of the hospital bills.

And my family made it out  here safely!!!!!! Joey said that he did not miss me!LOL So we are now sleeping at pgSIL's basement. Nice and cool. DH has been busy mowing (and letting Mat mow) and helping his dad get things done on the farm. I know that makes him feel useful as well.

GFIL did not have a stroke, but he did fall out of bed and is going to the nursing home. While it's heartbreaking, it's time. He's 94 and can not care for himself anymore.:( GMIL is adjusting to this news fairly well (or as well as can be expected).

And I guess that's about it for today. I read I Tim 5:8 last night and found that rather appropriate given my circumstances.

IL update

Early this am MIL's brother called so I knew it wouldn't be good. I found out later that MIL's dad (in his 90s) went to the hospital last night and they believe he had a stroke. He's stable, but I think MIL is having a hard time of it (understandably so).

I did get to go on a walk last night w/my 2 SILs and that was nice. I also have most of today's laundry done, clean sheets for FIL and in a bit we'll get ready to go to the last radiation appt. Then to the concert and by then MY FAMILY SHOULD BE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIL update

Ls landline was down all morning.

Today has been pretty good. MIL's phlebitis looks better so she decided to do radiation. That went well and we got some subs and ate in the van at a park. Then back here. I did grab a couple of hospice pamphlets and I'll set those out when I leave.;) Then to run their errands. I was able to find MIL shoes, PJ pants that she wanted AND I got the filing stuff so the bills (that we did yesterday for 5 hours) are completely filed and in a portable container. FIL is still trying ot fill out one paper, but we'll have it done by the end of the week. I was to talk to nonpgSIL about it first....

But I found a nice suit for myself!LOL ANd some dress pants for $2.99 for Mat. They are regulars, but for that price, we'll try them.

Then to another town to get the gatorade. WHEW! It was nice to just drive tho and then back here and I put away the dishes. I did 3 loads of laundry adn tried to vacuum before we left for radiation. MIL can't handle the noises and I thought she was IN the shower and she wasn't so we couldn't hear her yelling for FIL over hte vacuum. I felt badly, but....... I ran the dishwasher while we were at radiation.

TOmorrow I have to wash all of my laundry, my bed sheets (so that FIL can have that bed back since I"ll be going to pgSIL's when DH comes out w/the boys) and get MIL to radiation and then to the other 4 gchildren band concert at 1. This will be a big day for her. I hope that she's up for it.

getting in the groove at the ILs

MIL seemed to have an OK day. We did manage to get to radiation and she's complaining of burning in her esphagus so drinking and eating are issues. She's not sure if she will do the last 2 treatments or not. So I guess we'll she how she feels in the morning.

I, OTOH, got quite a bit done. I did 3 loads of laundry, killed some ants (and vacuumed them up!LOL), but most importantly, nonpgSIL took the day off and after radiation (she met us there), we sat down and for 5 hours we tackled MIL's medical bills. OMW! It took so long, but we made 25 file folders of files!!!!! Most of those were different medical providers!!!!!! SIL made some phone calls for some of them and we really made a huge dent. I didn't realize that the IL didn't even have any idea what they totalled! They thought that they might loose their farm, and so far, taht does not appear to be the case. PRAISE GOD!!!!! I had to go drag FIL to come sit down for part of it cuz we had no idea how much money they had available to pay, etc, etc. And he broke down (I mean it took 2 of us 5 hours so it was a HUGELY overwhelming project) and said that he didn't care about the bills--he just wanted his wife back. It was really sad. But as SIL pointed out to him, by having this all done, he can now enjoy alot more time w/her and not  have this weighing over them both. And I could tell this was HUGE for SIL to have done as well. So I feel much better about all of that.

And MIL let us divide and conquer. I took her to radiation adn FIL went to take care of some phone issues, get Rxes and hang out at McD's w/his buddies (something he hasn't done in a long time).

For me tomorrow, I have to get her some bigger shoes (to accomodate the swollen foot) and a file folder and some draw string pants for her. The solitude will be nice.

But for me, today was great. I"m a doer and to get hacked thru those bills was great. And to see the relief from all 3 of them was wonderful.

MIL update

I'm posting here since the internet is slow and sporadic here at best.

I made it. Made a poor choice and stopped for gas/bathroom at a greyhound bus stop. I was very scared and if I didnt' fear arriving to the shower already wet, I'd have driven to the next stop. The shower was nice.

Things are OK here. MIL can get to the bathroom so that is wonderful. We went to St. L today for chemo. I"m so glad that trip is over. I was the driver and MIL nad FIL fought about how to get there. CHemo was cancelled. I don't know that MIL realizes how bad she is. Dr. mentioned hospice twice. Not to get it now, but that they need to be thinking about it. She's already on full time O2 and barely gets around. The clots in her leg are causing major issues. They can't up the blood thinners anymore lest she start bleeding at the lungs. THey simply can not arrest the cancer. She said that she won't need hospice until after she tries holistic therapies. SHE DOESN"T HAVE TIME! I don't mean to not try them, but I don't know that she gets how bad she is!!!!!! And then she was saying that she can't have her blood thinners if she has lovenox, etc, etc. She was very well behaved and I went to bed and she cut loose on FIL. Poor guy.

For the bad part (yes, it's worse!). SHe's having nightmares. Last night she dreamt that the devil was telling her that he'd take her now and she said that she's in so much pain that she wanted to say yes. I don't know how much of this is fear driven or is this is really teh case. she was crying in the doc's office saying she hates to sleep cuz of them. I told her before we left (she said that she was going to ask the priest) what to do. I told her that she needed to tell Satan to LEAVE HER ALONE. And that I've done it. She won't take it to heart.:( Please pray for her. I won't give up this battle if that's what it is.........

Back to the chemo cancelling: The doc said that she's just not strong enuf and they set it up for 2 weeks IF she can. I give her a 25% shot of beign able to do it. FIL asked if waiting was bad and the doc said that at this point she's at too much of a risk of infection. Did I mention that she's not eating or drinking hardly anything? They gave her an Rx for a diuretic adn warned her that it causes dehydration (to help the phlebitis on her leg--it's HUGE). I was thinking NO NO NO NO! She already goes for IV fluids!

ANd she's supposed to have her last 3 radiation treatments this week. I hope she goes.

SOrry, I'm sure that this is jumbled cuz I"m a bit tired myself.....