Home with all my heart
A Story in the Making
I’ve read SO many stories from other mothers with Down Syndrome children from not only private messages, but from a great book called Gifts. There are a lot of common threads:1. There were a lot of shocked responses, grief, anger, and a difficulty in initial bonding once learning the diagnosis. All of these responses are completely raw and honest and perfectly acceptable, and the end of the stories are about how they wouldn’t trade their child for anything, but I just can’t relate to the hurt and fear. My baby is my baby. I am so thankful for the Lord’s protection over my mind, my heart, and my emotions because I SO know that it was never about me just “bucking up and dealing with it”. I’m also very thankful for our supportive family and friends!
2. The number of doctors that not only expect, but encouraged, these mothers to abort once a prenatal diagnosis was made is outrageous. There is pressure to abort immediately, while still in the legal range of 20 weeks. Twenty weeks! Do you know what a 20 week old baby looks like?!
If you really want your heart to break, you can find photos of aborted children at any week all over the internet. A baby is a baby is a baby, no matter how *wanted* or how *young* they are. And, speaking of how “wanted”, children with Down Syndrome are highly in demand to adopt, with some agencies carrying waiting lists that are at least a year long.
I heard one story of a mother who, when going to see her doctor again was met with the horrific response, “Why are you still pregnant?!”
I already shared that 80-90% of a prenatal DS diagnosis end up in abortion, which calls into question just how "rare" DS really is (the occurrence rates are based on live births). 3. There were a lot of women who had children with DS even when their genetic testing came back completely normal, even if they were in their twenties, even if they were first time mothers, and even if they planned everything perfectly and did everything “right”. One sad note (well, sad to me, anyway) was the number of women who immediately stopped having children altogether once having a child with Down Syndrome.
You know, I’ve been thinking about these things for a while, and I know that my baby is going to have special challenges that my other children may not have to deal with. Currently we are still working on nursing. This is the trial d’jour, but I am encouraged by the progress we’ve made. Apparently I have some nerve and tissue damage due to weeks of poor latching, but I am taking a bunch of B6 and other things that seem to be helping. And baby is learning. It’s going to just take longer for us to be a perfect team in this department. But I am her mother and she is my baby and God never says “Oops”.
We’re going to write our own story, baby and I (and her family as well!). I pray that as we live and share it, it will be an encouragement and a blessing to fretful mothers (and fathers!) everywhere who fear the uncertainties and challenges any child may bring to their families, whether their first or their fifteenth. Life is short. And motherhood is worth filling it up with.
Gifts
A couple of days ago I attended a baby shower in honor of my new wee one along with three of her new baby friends. I am so blessed to have so many friends that welcome children into their families! I just soaked in the sunshine enjoying the banter of women, the goodies they brought, and the multitude (and I do mean “multitude”!) of children racing around and laughing all over the lawn. When gifts came piling up at my feet to open, I was surprised! I forgot that gifts were even involved!
Baby received the sweetest outfits and blankets, and I got lots of treats for me as well, such as dark chocolate, lotions, candles, and slippers. We also got a nursing cover, something I’ve coveted (aloud, apparently!), and a goodly sum of cash as well. I think I would like to spend part of it on a family cling for the van. Should I get the image of the pregnant woman, you know, in advance (hee hee)?
Or, maybe, I ought to buy one of these:
I love this figurine I got from a dear friend:
It was truly a delight to celebrate all of the new babies, and to be amongst people who consider them to be worth celebrating. That, to me, was the best gift of all.
Whooping cough, free with every purchase
(wrote this Thrusday and forgot to post it!)
Finally getting around to having that yard sale. Sort of a "moving-in" sale. We’ve been here nearly two years and still had things to unpack. Actually, I have boxes of things I packed up when I married Bobby and we moved into our first home that I still hadn’t unpacked... that was nearly nine years ago. Oh boy. Needless to say I can live without all that and most of it's in the sale.
With this whooping cough deal and all our free time at home we’ve started going through a lot of stuff. Bobby’s the only non-contagious one so he’s in charge and the rest of us run and hide when someone pulls in the drive. This works out wonderful for me because I hate the dealing with people part and am likely to just give everything away.
At our current home the only outbuildings we have are the barn and coop, which we built, and the well pump house, which holds a few outdoor tools like rakes and shovels. No storage. All our need-to-store-out-of-the-way items find their way to the laundry room (Bobby’s tools really, really need their own room!) or to the unfinished attic (someday bedroom), affectionately dubbed the "Spare Oom." A LOT finds it’s way to the Spare Oom. I finally kicked the habit of saving every article of clothing "for the next kid" and wow did that free up some space! Being able to donate to our Community Closet helps a lot, as well as to replenish our wardrobe for free from there when we need to. Last week I went through all the kids current clothes and reduced the number of articles drastically. The two older girls each got to keep 4 short sleeve shirts, 4 long sleeve shirts, a small mix of summer and winter dresses/jumpers, a couple skirts, couple pairs of pants, and a couple pair of "creek shorts." The younger kids keep a little more because they just go through them so much more often, but they each were freed of at least half their wardrobe. That, combined with my own yearly wardrobe thinning, filled about 8 trash bags full!!! What a ridiculous excess we have in America, eh?
So, there are few clothes in our sale because they all went to the Community Closet, but there’s plenty of other junk. Toys... so many toys... about 1/4 of them mine from my childhood. Tons of boxes to go through... old magazines, calendars, cookbooks... (sigh) You know how it is. Anyway, I’m very excited about getting rid of it all. We agreed that most of what doesn’t sell we will attempt to give away (freecycle.org) and the rest burns or goes to the dump!
So that’s what we’re up to today...
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Saturday...
Everyone's doing about about the same. I've been able to sleep pretty well with no coughing for four nights now (if I stay semi-propped up at first). But it tickles a lot through the day. The 3 older Willies cough and vomit at times during the night as well as the day but it doesn't phase them now (kids are sooo adaptable) and I don't usually have to get up with them at night. Blue coughed a little yesterday as she was waking from her nap, but no idea yet if it's pertussis or just a regular cough. Royal still coughs a little. Bobby's test result came yesterday and it was negative for pertussis. (shrug) False negative? Too early to show up on the test? Maybe he didn't have it very bad? Maybe it was just sympathy coughing? He's just about done with the antibiotics.
We're getting pretty tired of not seeing everyone. We've got at least two weeks to go before we can socialize again. Another month if Blue's cough turns into more. Last night there was a gathering at the Martin's and we honked and waved as we drove by (had an errand in town)... the kids playing ball out front waved and my heart ached to be there! Bobby's been able to hang out with his friend Jason and has been placing letter boxes and scoping out new places to hike and place letterboxes. He's been running most of our errands and enjoys the freedom.
A friend also asked about my pregnancy. Here's my email response:
Oh yeah... I'm pregnant, aren't I? =) There's so much else going on I don't think much about being pregnant. I'm somewhat conscious of it when I eat and drink (eat small meals, drink tons of water!)... But when you're not running around to doctor's appointments and such and you don't have anyone pampering you (ha ha)... and you're busy with goats and garden and pertussis and yard sales... you know, what's a little pregnancy? It's nice, I think, to just have the time fly by without dwelling on it. I had stop and think last night of how far along I am. Something around 4 months, I think. I have it written down, of course. Starting to show, starting to feel it a little. I spent so much time on my feet the last two days my back was sore and I was out in the heat a lot and it just drained me. I drank and drank and drank and still ended up with a headache that felt like dehydration. I guess it's harder because I'm pregnant... So, I have little reminders like that. I dread getting big and being out and about and having people pat my house-sized belly and talk about it... I just want it over with already.
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That's all for now. Nothing interesting going on, nothing interesting to even write about! But I thought everyone might like an update. Maybe I can get some pics up here soon.
Mint Ice Tea
This is one of my favourite summer time drinks. It's so easy to make and is very thirst quenching on a hot day.
Mint Ice Tea
6 cups boiling water
4 tea bags
1 cup packed fresh mint
3/4 cup frozen lemonade concentrate drink
Pour boiling water over tea bags. Cover & steep for 5 minutes.
Remove tea bags Cool for 15 minutes and add mint. Steep and strain.
Refrigerate until cold.
How To Never Run Out Of Groceries Again!
I posted this over on my other blog Around The Homestead and thought I'd share it here to. 
How many times does it happen to us, in the middle of making supper we find we are missing an important ingredient. We rush to the store for just ONE thing and before we know it other “extras” have found there way into our cart. Soon the one item has cost you 30.00 plus and a lot of wasted time.
So how do we avoid falling into this trap?
1. Make a Menu List
Write down all of your family’s favorite meals, and include the ingredients.
2. Make a Master Shopping List
You can set this up how it best suites your family. For ours we made a 3 column chart. One each for freezer, fridge, and pantry. We then listed each item we used on a regular bases in the proper column.
We decided how many of each item we wanted to keep on hand. Beside each item put the desired number of check boxes.
Now this is the important part. EVERY time you open something that is on your list check it off right a way. No you might not NEED it this week but now that you’ve opened that jar of mayo you should buy another one to replace it. Then when you are getting low you don’t need to make a trip out to buy another.
Preparing our list this way has saved us a lot of money and time. It’s stopped the quick trip to the corner store for 1 item. And since our local store has a minimum purchase amount to use debit that 1 item would always cost us 10.00. Our other alternative was to drive to the next town for one thing and spend the difference in gas and time.
Fences or Folly?
The two oldest children burst in the bedroom earlier.“An eagle! An eagle!”
I admit looking at the sleeping baby and being a bit perturbed. What was the big deal? We have bald eagles all over the place.
Then I looked outside.
The hens were hiding under the tarp shaded section of their home, cowering. A bald eagle that easily met half my height was sitting nonchalantly on the lawn, right next to the chicken tractor. Probably trying to figure out how to get his next meal.
I raced to get the camera but it majestically took off before I could capture the scene.
I am thinking. Do we have as much sense to stay fenced in?
Our hens are constrained. Locked in. Fenced. Their freedom to roam is limited to the area we have designed for them. They cannot just unlatch the door and go out. And if they had any sense at all, they’d be praising the Lord after this morning!
God has fenced us in also, but we have the freedom and ability to stray from His good paths. Be not deceived, sisters, for lions await.
1 Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour...
Do not think that a little sin is just a little sin. No lion is going to just pat you on the head with his paw and lick you on the face in greeting. The slurp would be more like an appetizer.
Where are you straying from God’s paths? It is much for me to consider today. I think I will be making the trek home during the day, and thanking the Lord for His ways, which are always for my good.
Psalms 23:3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Lock me in, Lord.
"The School Thing"
I got this great email regarding my blog on how to best educate our children, and with permission am printing it here. I found it inspiring and hope it gives my readers pause for thought as well:..Read your post this morning... Been there... done that..
Seriously, we have homeschooled almost 18 years now... and I started out with the seat work at the table bit... but like you, I wanted more for my kiddos...I have all boys, I wanted each of them to be godly men , wonderful husbands, great fathers... so we tossed 80% of the books most years... We read lots of books..separate...as a family...we talked about them... and we did math... maybe 2-3 times a week.. the boys were able to explore their interests peppered with real life instruction. For a month they worked with a neighbor learning how to shingle a roof...followed by volunteering at Habitat and learning other skills...One saved his money from raising rabbits and went to the state surplus auction where he bid on a hundred computers... swapped out parts and built 35 good ones which he sold on ebay and made a dandy profit. He spent HOURS absorbed in that which he could not have done had I forced the book work.. they took mission trips to Honduras, Maine & NY after Ground Zero to feed volunteers... they hiked mountains and worked in soup kitchens they learned how to run a tiller and plant a garden. They bought old cars and learned how to swap out transmissions and what a universal joint was..
... so, despite my schooling fears.. I woke each morning and committed our learning to the Lord for each child..and at night my hubby and I would pray together for us to be able to guide them where HE wanted them to go...
..The result.. The oldest is 27 and engaged to a very wonderful woman..he owns a landscape business that specializes in solar lighting and is working on finishing up his degree at NCSU in Sociology and Public Service where he hopes to work for a non-profit.. he is the author of the book "The Faces Have Names", a pictorial on the homeless in America
..#2 son is married to a lovely woman ( he is the computer kiddo mentioned above).. He works in IT from home where he and his wife hope to have a house full of children. He and his wife have a music ministry where they sing together at different events.
..#3 son who volunteered at Ground Zero when he was 15 just returned from Iraq with a purple Heart, bronze Star with Valor & a Medal of Commendation for his service. He will settle in as a police officer and continue volunteering with at risk kids as soon as his wounds are patched up ( we seriously need a good chiropractor!!!)
#4 Will play basketball at Liberty University as soon as he graduates and wants to coach at a Christian school or college.
... it works... it works by committing it to the Lord...
You can find this mother here.
Children's Bible Study Links
If your looking for good free Bible studies/activities for children I really like the sites below. I plan to mix them in with our daily Bible devotions.
Calvary Chapel Children's Ministry Curriculum
Composer Study Link
Someone shared this wonderful site with me recently. We plan to use it with our music studies this year. You can lesson to music and read bio's of the composers along with photos.
Counting the Cost of Baby Number Six
I have received so many messages; thank you, thank you. I treasure all of your good words and thank you so much. I’ve been trying to reply, to catch up on emails and blogs, and yet the days pass into one another so quickly! Is it possible that our baby is a month old already?!
I have been enjoying her oh so much. In the middle of the night we sit on the rocker that Tom’s mother sat on in the yesteryears, my feet upon a little pine stool. My back is so improved; what a blessing to be able to lift up my feet! Baby lies upon my chest with her feet tucked under her round rump, her soft and downy head under my nestling chin. Can there be anything sweeter in the whole wide wonderful world, anything at all, than a newborn babe content with her ear upon mother’s heartbeat?
Somehow our other children grew, and my memory grew rusty during the moments that stretched into years. I truly forgot. In counting the cost of another pregnancy, another "mouth to feed", another child to train up, I forgot how time stops for the swaying of a chair, the stroking of a wee head, the deep inhalation of baby perfume. I forgot the wonderment of toes the size of corn kernels, and dainty eyelashes parting for eyes to lock into mine. I forgot about the faithfulness of God to give me strength, endurance, patience, hope. Oh, how precious to be in HIS arms!
The past month seems so foreign now. The finding of a provider whilst in labor, the surgery by default (breech=Caesarean at our hospital), the eight day trial of painfully traveling the halls to get to my newborn, her wires and oxygen tubes, X-rays, EKG’s and echocardiograms, dealing with nurses of all stripes, the blow of our friend’s toddler dying in an accident, my mastitis and current lingering chest pains and of course the cherry on top of it all in throwing my back out (did I leave anything out?). Ack! It is all rubbish now. I pull my baby close into my body and inhale the utter goodness of God of making me (me!) a mother of all things, and I think and cry out to the Lord during the quietness of a 3am feeding:
“It was worth it all. It is worth what will come. Thank you, just thank you, thank you for it all. I am blessed beyond measure.”
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