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DH is on a trip for a few weeks. Of course the weather has turned to the worst we will have all year with freezing temperatures all day and snow. We have had to do animal chores several times a day to keep the ice off the water. We have had difficulty keeping the outside wood fire going to keep the inside warm. The kids broke the fire starter and I have broken everything I have put my hands on. I just can't believe it. I have really felt like it has been a spiritual battle. I am home with my kids during DH's absence since I am on maternity for the new baby. I really want to enjoy this time and use it to think about being home permanently. Instead I feel overwhelmed and frustrated that nothing is going according to plan. It makes me doubt what I should be doing and what DH's and my plan should be for our family. I know that the doubt is Satan working against me, but still it get's a person down. I have learned a few lessons. I need to spend more time at home and less time running errands and going to the store. Of course things kinds of build up when you aren't home all the time, but I have also realized it is a matter of patience. If I think of something that needs to get done, I go ahead and head to town to do it. It is not even the commute time that adds up, but the disrupution to the kids' schedule is the worst part. We need to have a designated day for appointments. We will also have to figure out how to keep school going when there are the demands for laundry and baking. By the time we get things tidied up it is past snack time. Part of this is because I have been sleeping in because of the baby's feeding schedule. I just need the extra sleep. I need to figure out how to sequence things so that the kids are being productive but I can also get my work done and of course attend to the baby. |
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