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Monday, September 8, 2008 ~Take a vote~
I hope everone is having a wonderful week! As it is Monday my day is full :) Any ways for my writting assignment I had to write a descriptive essay. I have two descriptive essays I would like you to read. Then I want you to vote on which one you think is better. The one that makes you feel as thought you were really there.
Essay #1
There are many places to see in this world. Some that are hot, and some that are colder than imaginable. If I had to choose one place I would love to see I would choose Paris. I have never been there, but when I imagine it this it what I feel.
As I closed my eyes I felt the cool air touch my warm face, and smelt the baking bread mingled with a strong I ssmell of sweet coffee. As tuck my hands into my pocket I looked around me the little cars zooming by, and the brilliant lights that lit the streets, making it seem like a movie. Making it all come to life the Eiffel Tower shown in the midnight air. It lit up the dark sky, as gold shown around this giant of Paris.
All around me I heard people speaking a language I could not understand, the sound of car horns from the crowded streets seemed as if life could not exist without it. The buildings being so close together, reminded me of a coldasack. If you were in one building you were likely to hear people in all directions.
As I walked along I noticed how hungry I was. I was fascinated with a little café and decided to try it. As I walked in, the cold air became warm. People were sitting together reading, talking, and enjoying their warm coffee. The people seemed friendly, and ready to help me understand something foreign. After ordering my soup I sat down in a cozy corner to view all I could possibly take in at a time. The employes hurried in the kitchen, and shouted orders to the men prepared the food was something to be seen. Young woman sat close together on a couch by a bright fire place, reading a poem. A group of men sat listening with all interest to the words of this foreign poem. The soup was delicious. I have always heard the food in Paris was the best of its kind, and now I believed it. Yes, sitting in the coffee shop gave me a real feeling of how every day life in Paris would be, and I longed to be home again. I was very happy with how majestic everything was, but I could not help loving where my family was. So I opened my eyes talking in all the smells, sounds, and sites that I loved.
Essay # 2
We all know that the heart is the most important organ. I believe our own house has a room that pumps blood into the rest of the house. Our own kitchen is the center of our house; people come and go as blood circulates through the heart.
No matter the time of day there is always a smell escaping from the kitchen. As soon as I wake up the smell of baking bread, or sometimes pancakes makes it a lot easier to pull my sleepy head from its resting place. Throughout the day delicious smells make your mouth water. Cookies, pies, cakes, sticky buns, and many more tasty treats make you happy when lunch time is finally there. These thick smells seem to be happy trapped between the red walls, and the hard wood floors, slowly creeping into the rest of the house letting everyone know meal time is quickly approaching.
The heart of our house makes a peacock look dull. Signs that have a good country feel adorn the walls. Books with hundreds of heavenly recipes are scattered everywhere, just like a kitten never still for a moment, always running free. There is always a mountain in the sink. No matter how hard we try we are always afraid of an avalanche, one never knows when the dishes will topple over. We have yet to find a way to keep up with them.
Through all these wonderful things to see, you can taste the sweetness of the air. When fresh bread is baking you can open your mouth and can almost taste it. When you stick a freshly baked cookie into your mouth you can not help but savor every taste. Every now and then there will be a slimy piece of lettuce in our salad, these tastes are not as pleasant as it tastes like a slug has become your next meal. The salt and the pepper are normally mixed together well, creating a meal that tastes delightful. “A party in the mouth,” as some put it.
From a different room you would only wonder what on earth could make so much noise in a home. The pots and pans crash together as symbols announcing a high school band. Glasses hit one another reminding you that music is an easy thing to come by. The rhythms of the kitchen have yet to come together, they sound like an orchestra tuning their instruments, or a child just learning to play the violin. The trash can lid seems to sway back and forth with a little squeak just to let you know it is still there. When the table is being set you can hear the plates being set upon the wooden table, and when the dishes are being washed you can envision a water fall hitting tons of rocks at the bottom.
The dough is sticky and the meats are cold. Early in the morning if you get out of your bed to go and get a drink you are sure to feel the cold, smooth floors under your warm feet. Every now and then when a glass has shattered on the floor pieces have been missed by the sweeper. Stepping on one of those pieces may cause you to fall in to the sharp counter’s edge. Though the counter top is smooth the edges are something to fear. Finally, you feel the warm rug in the center of the kitchen under your now cold feet. You reach for a glass and fill it with the wet water you know will clench your thirst. The glass feels smooth, and the water feels even better on your dry throat.
When no one is in the kitchen it still seems to keep going. The almost silent hum of the refrigerator never stops, it seems to be saying, “Be off, I will make sure all the food is cold when you return.” The slow swishing of water circulating in the dishwasher makes the sink sound as though it is gargling. The coffee pot makes our home smell good, and clicks while perking a cup of coffee letting you know your energy is on the way. Our kitchen is truly the heart of the house. It keeps the rest of the house moving.
Thank you for reading my essays now pleas take a vote. :) This will let me know if my writting has inporved over a year. If you see any mistakes please let me know.
Little Woman
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Monday, September 8, 2008
~Take a vote~
I hope everone is having a wonderful week! As it is Monday my day is full :) Any ways for my writting assignment I had to write a descriptive essay. I have two descriptive essays I would like you to read. Then I want you to vote on which one you think is better. The one that makes you feel as thought you were really there.
Essay #1
There are many places to see in this world. Some that are hot, and some that are colder than imaginable. If I had to choose one place I would love to see I would choose Paris. I have never been there, but when I imagine it this it what I feel.
As I closed my eyes I felt the cool air touch my warm face, and smelt the baking bread mingled with a strong I ssmell of sweet coffee. As tuck my hands into my pocket I looked around me the little cars zooming by, and the brilliant lights that lit the streets, making it seem like a movie. Making it all come to life the Eiffel Tower shown in the midnight air. It lit up the dark sky, as gold shown around this giant of Paris.
All around me I heard people speaking a language I could not understand, the sound of car horns from the crowded streets seemed as if life could not exist without it. The buildings being so close together, reminded me of a coldasack. If you were in one building you were likely to hear people in all directions.
As I walked along I noticed how hungry I was. I was fascinated with a little café and decided to try it. As I walked in, the cold air became warm. People were sitting together reading, talking, and enjoying their warm coffee. The people seemed friendly, and ready to help me understand something foreign. After ordering my soup I sat down in a cozy corner to view all I could possibly take in at a time. The employes hurried in the kitchen, and shouted orders to the men prepared the food was something to be seen. Young woman sat close together on a couch by a bright fire place, reading a poem. A group of men sat listening with all interest to the words of this foreign poem. The soup was delicious. I have always heard the food in Paris was the best of its kind, and now I believed it. Yes, sitting in the coffee shop gave me a real feeling of how every day life in Paris would be, and I longed to be home again. I was very happy with how majestic everything was, but I could not help loving where my family was. So I opened my eyes talking in all the smells, sounds, and sites that I loved.
Essay # 2
We all know that the heart is the most important organ. I believe our own house has a room that pumps blood into the rest of the house. Our own kitchen is the center of our house; people come and go as blood circulates through the heart.
No matter the time of day there is always a smell escaping from the kitchen. As soon as I wake up the smell of baking bread, or sometimes pancakes makes it a lot easier to pull my sleepy head from its resting place. Throughout the day delicious smells make your mouth water. Cookies, pies, cakes, sticky buns, and many more tasty treats make you happy when lunch time is finally there. These thick smells seem to be happy trapped between the red walls, and the hard wood floors, slowly creeping into the rest of the house letting everyone know meal time is quickly approaching.
The heart of our house makes a peacock look dull. Signs that have a good country feel adorn the walls. Books with hundreds of heavenly recipes are scattered everywhere, just like a kitten never still for a moment, always running free. There is always a mountain in the sink. No matter how hard we try we are always afraid of an avalanche, one never knows when the dishes will topple over. We have yet to find a way to keep up with them.
Through all these wonderful things to see, you can taste the sweetness of the air. When fresh bread is baking you can open your mouth and can almost taste it. When you stick a freshly baked cookie into your mouth you can not help but savor every taste. Every now and then there will be a slimy piece of lettuce in our salad, these tastes are not as pleasant as it tastes like a slug has become your next meal. The salt and the pepper are normally mixed together well, creating a meal that tastes delightful. “A party in the mouth,” as some put it.
From a different room you would only wonder what on earth could make so much noise in a home. The pots and pans crash together as symbols announcing a high school band. Glasses hit one another reminding you that music is an easy thing to come by. The rhythms of the kitchen have yet to come together, they sound like an orchestra tuning their instruments, or a child just learning to play the violin. The trash can lid seems to sway back and forth with a little squeak just to let you know it is still there. When the table is being set you can hear the plates being set upon the wooden table, and when the dishes are being washed you can envision a water fall hitting tons of rocks at the bottom.
The dough is sticky and the meats are cold. Early in the morning if you get out of your bed to go and get a drink you are sure to feel the cold, smooth floors under your warm feet. Every now and then when a glass has shattered on the floor pieces have been missed by the sweeper. Stepping on one of those pieces may cause you to fall in to the sharp counter’s edge. Though the counter top is smooth the edges are something to fear. Finally, you feel the warm rug in the center of the kitchen under your now cold feet. You reach for a glass and fill it with the wet water you know will clench your thirst. The glass feels smooth, and the water feels even better on your dry throat.
When no one is in the kitchen it still seems to keep going. The almost silent hum of the refrigerator never stops, it seems to be saying, “Be off, I will make sure all the food is cold when you return.” The slow swishing of water circulating in the dishwasher makes the sink sound as though it is gargling. The coffee pot makes our home smell good, and clicks while perking a cup of coffee letting you know your energy is on the way. Our kitchen is truly the heart of the house. It keeps the rest of the house moving.
Thank you for reading my essays now pleas take a vote. :) This will let me know if my writting has inporved over a year. If you see any mistakes please let me know.
Little Woman
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Monday, September 8, 2008 - Your Descriptive Essays
angela --- I have my own spelling errors to look for. :-)
Edited by safords on Monday, September 8, 2008 at 11:34