At left, our guests, shortly after their arrival and just prior to Yolanda's first surgery.
Above, our guests a few days before their return to Haiti.
Last summer we had the honor of hosting a Haitian mother and her daughter for 9 weeks so the daughter could have life-saving open heart surgery in the States. We have had folks ask us how we have time for minstry while running a homestead. Actually, a homestead is a wonderful place for ministry. Our little farm proved to be a perfect place for our Haitian guests to recuperate. Instead of having to fit into an on-the-go lifestyle which is typical of America, they were able to rest and recup or join in on farm duties if they chose when they were feeling better. We ate every family meal together, not in the car on the way to something and they were able to participate in family devotions with our limited Creole interpretations.
Yes, ministry is wonderful to do on the farm. My husband and I were counseling a very troubled couple with a marriage on the rocks and in the middle of it all, our children burst in to inform us one of our cats was having kittens and they couldn't find them. What a relief this proved to be as we all hunted for those kittens and tried to save their lives. It happens to provide a bit of perspective. What a great place our farm proved to be for a young man who needed accountability. He stayed with us and helped my husband build a chicken coop learning that a mind focused on a worthy task rarely gets into trouble.
Aw, but I digress, this post describes some of the lessons we learned together last summer while hosting these blessed folks. If you would like to read of more details of the story, you may go to www.yolandahope.blogspot.com
(As we left the hospital after her 2nd surgery, we bid the hospital farewell, "Orevwa, lopital!")
First of all, I must clarify that I do not believe hosting a family in this fashion is for everyone. We regularly practice hospitality. We did not begin to practice it with this family. It would not have been pleasant for our guests to have been our guinea pigs.
We also had to have the hearts of our children. I believe it is of the utmost importance and priority for us to have our own homes in order first. We will not be a blessing to others at all if our own home is not in order. My husband and I have taught our children of the importance of being a blessing to the Lord. As we live in such a way that is pleasing and honoring to the Lord, we will also be a blessing to others. If we were not living in a way that is pleasing to the Lord, we would be a bad example and a burden to others. Our children are respectful of their parents. If they weren't, we would not be a blessing and we would have no business teaching others to be disrespectful through our example. As a family, we strive to be a blessing, not a burden.
I must also add, there is no way we would have agreed to do this if it weren't for my husband's heart and vision for his family and for his provision. For a long time, he has had the heart for his family to practice hospitality for those who have no place to go, so we have done just that, but never for this long or for someone from a foreign country. If this was something I wanted to do and he didn't, we wouldn't have done it for we would not have been a blessing nor would we have brought honor to the Lord if our marriage had not reflected oneness and unity.
Having said that, I will endeavor to write about some of the things our family has learned as we have hosted a family from a third world country.
The Lord provides and makes a way: A missionary couple in Haiti asked Mrs. Joseph to do some seamstress work for them. This is how they met 4 year old Yolanda and learned about her problems. They, in turn, put the Joseph's in contact with another missionary who contacted the Timmy Foundation and St. Vincent's hospital to make an appeal for help. Mr. Joseph died one month before they arrived to the U.S. The doctor who had to sign for Yolanda's medical release was kidnapped and held for ransom. Two of the host families the Timmy Foundation lined up canceled due to family emergencies. We were asked to host and agreed. Yolanda and her mother arrive to our house after many obstacles and the rest is history.
Our earnings from the Farmer's Market provided for Mrs. Joseph to pay tips for carrying her luggage in Haiti when she returned. My Beloved John told her he can carry her luggage while she's in Indiana, but can't carry it for her in Haiti. The only way he can help her is to pay for someone else to carry it. We also knew Mrs. Joseph was very concerned about flying back to Haiti with a lay-over in Miami without an English/Creole-speaking escort. It seemed impossible for the Lord to provide with so many people canceling their missions trips due the the unsafety in Haiti. But the Lord did provide using the same person that traveled here with them. Mrs. Joseph was overjoyed.
Humility: We learned to communicate in Creole in the most simplest form when they first arrived using one word sentences and lots of gesturing and charades. We gradually progressed to 2-3 word sentences until we moved into the second month of their stay when we graduated to very slow and deliberate sentences which were pleasant and less taxing on the brain. This reminded us of our daughters as babes learning to talk. We were thrilled with their first words. When communicating with our guests, we had regressed to mere babes in learning to speak with them. There were many times we had so much more on our heart to communicate, but had to be content with what we were capable of speaking or acting out which was quite humbling.
Manners: After setting the table, our girls would faithfully ask our guests before every meal if our guest would like, "Dlo, let, ji" [water, milk or juice]. Our 5 year old taught Yolanda how to respond in English when someone shakes your hand, "Pleased to meet you!" We all learned basic manners of "please", "thank you" and "you're welcome" in Creole. It wasn't long before our little Haitian guest began to reflect our desire to show good manners and joined in.
Beloved songs in a different language: Our oldest daughter and I translated "Jesus loves me" into Creole and taught it to our guests which we sang together frequently. We would also play hymns on the piano and sing them in English while the mother would sing it in Creole. Americans and Haitians worshipping together in different languages, but with similar hearts that adore Jesus. The songs have as much meaning and depth in Creole as they do in English for they came from a heart that belongs to the Savior.
We're really not that different: We asked Mrs. Joseph if she would like to go to a ballet (a Christian ballet company was in town and performing in a church in Indianapolis). She answered in the affirmative, then she pointed to her hair as if to say, "Is this OK?" I answered in the affirmative. She appeared relieved. Then another tiny panicked motion to her dress, "Is this OK to wear?" Again, I answered in the affirmative. My husband chuckled with me later as he noticed that Yolette displayed a common response among women: Is my attire appropriate for the occasion?
We were eating lunch one day when I noticed my 5 year old's glass was entirely too close to the edge of the table for my comfort. I scooted the glass to the top corner of her plate and did a little teaching while Mrs. Joseph chuckled and nodded her head in agreement as if to say, "I would have done the same thing!"
Soon after their arrival we were surprised to learn that when Yolanda says something in Creole that sounds like, "Mommie, pee-pee", in English it means exactly what it sounds like.
Creative ways to encourage deep-breathing after surgery in order to get rid of fluid in the lungs naturally: Blowing bubbles was a very common activity our girls did with Yolanda. They helped her both in the hospital and once she returned to our home. Our girls knew that it was important for Yolanda to huff and puff that fluid off the lungs. They even resorted to using our trumpet vine flowers to blow huge bubbles. Our 9 year old had the creative idea of blowing dandelion fuzzies. This proved to be a fun activity as the girls blew dandelion fuzzies on each other during the season we had them.
Sharing, serving, exercising love and mercy and practicing hospitality: Prior to our guests arrival, we had been reading John Bunyon's classic, "The Pilgrim's Progress" and compared our farm house to the Palace Beautiful which was run by a family who served the King's pilgrims with good food, good lodging, good company and good conversations. They are a wonderful example of living hospitality. Mrs. Joseph and Yolanda were pilgrims on the grand journey of life who needed to make a stop in Indiana on their journey. The Lord brought them to our farm. We had the honor of hosting them and showing them hospitality just like Discretion and her daughters of the Palace Beautiful.
The verse the Lord laid on our hearts as we prayed about our decision to host this family were Isaiah 58:7 "...divide your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into the house." The Lord also reminded us of the many passages in the Bible which tell us of our Father's heart for the poor, orphaned, widowed and oppressed. As the Lord reminded us of this, He imparted confirmation and encouragement to us as we considered hosting a recently widowed woman and her daughter (who would die if she did not have this surgery) who were from the poorest country in the western hemisphere, a third world nation at war with itself.
The joy of witnessing a miracle: Yolanda could not walk before her surgery. She had to be carried everywhere for her heart was compromised so. No herb could save her, only surgery could repair the holes in her heart. Open heart surgery is not perfomred in Haiti for the electricity is not stable enough. The American pediatrician who evaluated her in Haiti didn't think she had much longer to live. Had she not come, she would have died. The transformation that took place after surgery was amazing. We watched her as she gradually gained more and more strength in her legs to walk more and more steadily until she began to run. And, boy oh boy, did she run! She ran almost ALL of the time and ALWAYS with a great amount of enthusiasm, pumping her arms with such gusto and a smile engulfing her face! And we would shake our heads in amazement and gratitude along with her mother and give thanks to the Lord for saving this little girl's life.
Linguistics: As a family we have an interest in languages. We've studied some Greek, Latin, Russian and Spanish and find it fascinating as we discover the links between the languages and the differences. Being exposed to Creole (which is a combination of French and Africans and sounds like really bad French) has added to our fascination of languages. Many times our 5 year old was found saying, "I really enjoy hearing Yolanda and her mother talk to each other in Creole." Since Creole doesn't have any verb tenses, learning the language was a matter of pronunciation and memorization.
Not all little girls should wear sparkly, slick-bottomed shoes on hard-wood floors: Our little guest loved the beautiful sparkly shoes our 5 year old gave her. She eagerly placed them on with assistance. Then she stood eager to hear the clip-clop of the shoes as she walked on our hard-wood flooring. She began to put one foot on front of the other and all of the sudden the scene from the movie, Bambi, came alive right before our eyes, when Bambi tried ice-skating for the first time and his limbs spread out in all directions. Little Yolanda's feet slid and slipped as she struggled to stay upright while somehow moving forward. Eventually her little hind quarters met the floor. She went down smiling and laughing along with her mother and the rest of us as we joined her in her amusement. It didn't take long for her to decide rubber-soled shoes were best to use in the house, that is if she wasn't bare-footed. She saved her sparkly, slick-bottomed shoes for outdoor work with the barn animals (where there is a little more traction).
Glimpse's of a mother's heart: Not long after Yolanda's first surgery, Mrs. Joseph asked, "Le returne Ayite?" It took me 5 minutes to figure out what she was asking. One dictionary translated "le" as an hour, so it took me a while to realize "le" also meant "when" as in when will they return to Haiti. I asked her, "Madanm Joseph make fanme [Mrs. Joseph miss family]?" To which she gave a very hardy affirmative.
Mrs. Joseph traveled to a foreign country (where she did not know the language or the customs or the plumbing) one month after her husband died. She left her 3 older children in Haiti with her brother and his wife. She did this because she knew her daughter would have died had she not. She knew there was no medication or herb that could bring healing to her daughter. Only a surgery could repair the hole in her heart and she was fading very quickly. Usually these kids don't live that long. Yolanda was growing weaker and weaker. What a walk of faith for her this must have been and yet she was determined to see that her daughter would live.
It doesn't take a college-educated person to recognize the gender-neutrality trend in our nation: Mrs. Joseph has an 8th grade education. She made the comment to me that women in America wear pants and don't like to wear dresses. We interacted with an individual one time that had stylish short hair, long eyelashes, a smooth complexion and a voice that was neither high nor low. Once this person left our presence, she looked at me and asked if that was a woman or a man. I told her it was a man (I hope) for I saw chest hair at the base of his neck. She shook her head in unbelief and amazement.
The true definition of a talented seamstress: I thought I was a decent seamstress, then I met Mrs. Joseph. I am thankful my daughters and I were able to watch her and learn from her. I gave her some fabric and in the course of an afternoon, she designed, cut out and HAND-sewed an adorable dress for Yolanda. I was speechless. No pattern, no machine, no 4 year college degree in fashion design, just pure, raw, know- how, talent, creativity, determination. Now THAT is a seamstress.
Perseverance: We agreed to host this family for 4-6 weeks. We had no idea they would need to be here longer. There were days that were long and tiring, yet the Lord gave us strength to get through and sometimes He would even provide an inspiring second wind. When one of us was tired, another would pick up and contribute to some inspiration. There were days our brains were strained to the point of fatigue with trying to learn the language, yet the Lord would faithfully stretch us and we would learn more. There were days we missed having just our family, so we would cherish our times of bedtime reading with just our family all the more.
We use similar toilet facilities in certain circumstances: We were at a nature park on a picnic with our church family when our guests asked for a toilet. There was no bathroom around. I pointed to the woods. A smile appeared on the mom's face and she nodded with familiarity. This is what they do in Haiti.
Curious about the toileting habits of Haitians in the city, I later asked her for clarification, once I knew the language better, "Haitians use the bathroom outside in the street?" Yes. "While people are watching?" Some people do, she doesn't.
Many opportunities to communicate Biblical truths in Creole: As an example, one afternoon, I sat my daughters down with the Bible opened to Proverbs to teach them more about what a Godly woman looks like in answer to a question they had. We read one of our favorite passages which we had been reading daily for over one month before we learned about our guests' arrival. We compared the Proverbs 31 woman with the woman described in Proverbs 7:5-27. A woman who keeps her home, is skilled and hard-working, whose husband trusts in her and praises her, whose children praise her versus a woman who is boisterous, rebellious, whose feet do not remain at home, who is manipulative, dresses as a harlot and who is the death of a man. Just as we were finishing up, Mrs. Joseph walked in. I quickly translated in my mind the Creole words I knew which I could use to describe to her what we were talking about. I simplified it and told her I was teaching my daughters the difference between a Christian woman and one who is not. Her eyes piqued with interest, so I further explained that a Godly woman is one who focuses on home and family while working hard while an ungodly woman is out on the streets crying, "Look at me! Look at me!" She gave an affirmative nod and told me in Creole, "Exactly!"
A child's whine in Creole means the exact same thing it does in English: No mistake could be made that the interpretation of the whine meant exactly the same as if does for an American child. And we did not need to refer to our Creole dictionary to arrive to that conclusion.
Unselfishness: Gabrielle (9) said she learned to work diligently and cheerfully with her increased workload especially after observing Mrs. Joseph as she worked. Mrs. Joseph helped clean up the table after eating and at times swept the floor and she always did it with a pleasant look on her face and sometimes while singing worship songs. Gabrielle also said it was a "growing up experience" for her. Mrs. Joseph asked her to look after Yolanda while she took afternoon naps. Gabrielle learned a bit about babysitting and the responsibilities that go with it. Our girls chose to give up using their bikes, tree house and other things for they knew Yolanda was not supposed to do any of those things for 6 weeks after surgery and they did not want to be a source of temptation for their guest. Sarah (5) enjoyed teaching Yolanda some English which she was speaking more and more of as well as her mother. They both grew from this experience. We were pleased with both of our girls and their capacities and capabilities as we shared our family and home for 9 weeks.
We have the same Creator: Rich, middle class or poor, healthy or sick, black, brown or white, city or urban dweller, seamstress or farmer, from a 3rd world country or the U.S., English-speaking or Creole-speaking, widowed, orphaned or not, we all come from Adam and we have the same Creator. And in our case, we worship the same Creator. What a privilege and honor it was to have fellowshipped with a fellow believer, one of the King's pilgrim's from Haiti, from April 30 to July 7. Our family will never be the same. To God be the glory.
Grateful for the opportunity to serve on our homestead,
Mrs. Lisa Mesko for the Mesko family
www.lighthousefarm.com
12:20 - 2006-Feb-2 -
You have blessed me
I have so much enjoyed reading about this family you had in your home. May the Lord bless you and your family beyond measure for shining His Light so brightly to them.
Love in Jesus,
Christi
Thank you
We sure did have fun hosting them. Not a week goes by that we don't talk about them and pray for them.
Lighthouse - 01:49 - 2006-Mar-21
