Its been a quiet day today. I spent alot of time today thinking on whats really important and what really adds value to our lives. What are the things that we are doing today that will matter years down the road in our daughters (and hopefully soon) future childrens lives. What memories are we creating, what heritage or traditions are we leaving them?  When someone asks them in the years to come about their childhood what will come to thier minds? Will it be sweet and pleasant or will it be sad and harsh?  This area is close to my heart because I didnt have a very good childhood. Children were to be seen and not heard. My mother was never home and often stayed away days at a time. While I honor her as the Lord says to, I can never once remember her telling me that she loved me. We never laughed together or played games together, there werent any times in the kitchen learning family receipe's, there were no hugs or a hope of a future we didnt know exsited. I believe she did the best she knew how to do with the knowledge and capacity she had. While this is a bit sad there is true hope for a brighter future for myself and my children. I am the first in my family to serve the Lord and He has truely restored me and graced me with giftings and a heart that only He could have supplied. It is through the love He has for me that I learned how to love and to be loved. As a mother I sometimes think, how could my mother have acted as she did with me. I think about how much I love my daughter, how wonderful she is. All the little special things she does out of her sweet heart. All the laughter and creativity and fun. All the hugs and kisses. The macaroni necklaces and handprint turkeys. How could I but love her, How could I but only want the best for her. To teach her and show her the things of God.  God has annointed me to be her mother and I love that. I think about how He chose me specifically to be HER mother. What and honor and blessing. So as I thought about this today I feel that I need to be more deliberate in my time with her and the lessons I teach her, the heritage of family and the wonderful way we can be homemakers, momma's and wifes. I want her to be equipt with  memories, knowledge, confidence and love. I want her to walk out the "great plans" the Lord has for her and someday think back on the times we've spent together.

I also spoke with my husband this evening. My heart is to have a bit of land so that we can have a few cows, chickens and a garden (well to start with). A place that we can raise our daughter and future children away from the business of what isnt so important. A place our grandchildren can come and we can teach them. A place we leave our children. What do you do when your heart desires something so strongly and you can see it coming to pass any time in the near future?  You pray and you rely on your faith. What God has done already He can do again. I think on the promises He has already answered and know that He is faithful. I believe there are something in my heart that only He has planted and that He will bring to pass. In talking with my husband tonight I was hopeful for a future homestead. He said yes, to cows! And he know my desire for the chickens. (He asked me if I would eat them if we had to kill them - I understand the food chain I told him..sometimes my husband asks silly questions but I love how he protects me and tries to guard me from certain things).

He has always been like that, from the first day we met. He is one of those men that still carry a hankerchief in his pocket and puts his hand on the small of your back to guide you into a room. He opens the door for me and takes my car to get gas when it getting low. When im running late he asks if there is anything he can do to get dinner started. And...not to get to personal or graphic...he is aware of my "monthly" even when I dont say anything and takes special attention to me (sometimes I get a horrible head ache during this time of month). While my husband is and does so many wonderful things I know who he is to me and I serve and honor him. Its a blessing to be his wife and to serve him and pray for him. I recently read a letter a mother was writing to her daughter-in-love and she used a sentence that said (im paraphrasing) "many have rings of value but their marriage isnt of value". That really spoke to me. I love my wedding ring. Each time I look at it im reminded of that special day, that special covenant and my love for my husband, and the love he has for me. I want my marriage to always be of value.

Im hopeful and in prayer for my own sweet homestead.

Today im thankful for the Lords restoration. For all that He placed in me that is good. For allowing me to be a mother (and bringing to pass the desire for more children) and be a wife. God you are so good. You've taken a past of horrible memories and given me a life of great love and promises. One that overflows daily so the past has no place. Im so thankful for all that you are, all that you've been and all that you will be.

Blessings on all who are reading ~ I welcome and look forward to comments on this article.

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