As some of  you might recall, my mother has Alzheimers. She was diagnosed with it some three and half years ago.  For the first year and a half she was able to live on her own, then two years ago this month, my younger brother and his girlfriend moved in with her to take over with her care. At that point she was still able to do for herself but we knew it wasn't good for her to be alone in the house.  I would go for a visit and smell  the food that she had burnt  or the pot the she has left on the stove to scortch. So we became affraid that she might hurt herself.

      She progressed as we were told she would, having her bad days and good days along the way. Recently for Christmas she came over to my home and was eating without help and seemed to be well, not her OLD self, but OK.  Well last  Sunday I get a phone call  informing me that overnight, my mom has taken a severe turn for the worse.  So bad infact, that my brother from Georgia had to be called in for us to make long term arrangments for our mom.  She doesn't seem to know us that well anymore and she is losing control of her bodily functions. She is messing on herself several times a day, she is constanly asleep and can no longer walk on her own. As I said this has happened literally overnight. One day she was fine (as fine as she could be) and the next day, just out of it. My brother is no longer able to handle the situation and I don't for one minute blame him for that. I would offer for my mom to come and live with us but she has already said no to that. She doesn't want to leave her home. She is starting to get mean and that breaks my brothers heart. I know that it's all part of the disease and  it doesn't bother me too  much.

      My brothers and I  have checked into putting her in  a  nursing home that has an Alzehimers unit which is near our homes.  We are all agreed that this is what needs to be done. None of us are qualified to take care of her needs any longer.   We would have preferred to have home health care come into the home, but we can't touch her money and neither I nor my brothers can afford to pay for this service out of pockets. That would have been our first choice if we were able.  So this is what I am needing the  prayers for. Please pray that  this change is made as easy as possible for my mother.  We are so affraid that she will be sooo upset by this. She is still able to speak a little  and is aware enough that she is going to know to what is going on. We are so afraid that she will hate us for a bit and I'm not sure my brother will be able to handle this. It will hurt me very badly too, but I know in my heart that this is the right thing for her needs and care.

       To make matters worse, we will loose all of my mothers assets that her and my father worked very hard for all of their lives.  I asked my mom several times throughout the years to take care of paper work needed for her old age, like power of attorney and such. She never agreed to let that happened (a bit of stubborness on her part ) so now she will loose everything to the facility that she will be staying in.  In order for us to get power of attorney of anykind we would have to take my mother to court and prove her to be incompitant, and they said that would take a good while to do and be long and drawn out. None of us want that for her.  She does  get to keep the house, but the brother staying in the house has no income and is disabled. So I'm not sure how long that will last or how that will work out.

         Please pray that things go well for us  the next few weeks.  And just a  quick note, my mom is not even 65 yet and has this disease  taking her life.  If your parents haven't made arrangments for their golden years, make sure they get on that right away.  It's hard to watch it all get taken away.

• Post a Comment

Saturday, January 26, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by homesteadmama4

You, your mother and your family are in my prayers. I hope that the situation will be as peacefulas possible. This is so heartbreaking. I will be praying for you.

• Permanent Link

Saturday, January 26, 2008 - So Sorry

Posted by Hisirishgem

I am praying for Gods wisdom, provision, guidance, and His peace in your mind, body and spirit as you work toward the plans set forth for your mom.

It seems as though you've already made plans, but just in case, there is also home health care. I'm not sure how it would work, but maybe you could save the estate, and somehow get your moms signature for power of attorney for the next couple of years so you don't lose all her assets. Just a thought, but if you have already been lead to make the above decision final, God will certainely provide you with all your needs. I don't doubt that for one minute.

Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers as you move forward. I pray God would give you strength through it all.

Much love to you dear sister.

Rebekah

• Permanent Link

Saturday, January 26, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by mashelle68

Hi Kitty
I will be praying for you and your mom ,and all of your family.It is a hard decision to make to put someone we love in a nursing facility.We had to make that decision for my dad several years ago,so I know the heartbreak you are going through.Know that God is with you,and loves you very much dear sister.
Love and hugs,
Rachel

• Permanent Link

Sunday, January 27, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by a1health

Oh, my, Kitty, I'm so sorry this has happened to your family. I will certainly start praying! My grandfather had alzheimers and it was very difficult for my grandmother. He was put into a nursing home during his last days. Luckily my Mom and Aunt had "custody" of him, so this was able to happen smoothly. Let me know if there's anything you need.
~Farrah

• Permanent Link

Monday, January 28, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by southernbelle

I'm so sorry Kitty for what your mother is going through and what you and your family is going through. I wish there was something I could do to help you. I will pray for you all. Keep me updated on this.

• Permanent Link

Monday, January 28, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by HHope

Im so sorry this is happening to your family. It is hard that all of your families hard work will be all but absorbed into the facility. However, try to hold on to the fact that your mothers true legacy will never be taken from her and that is the fact that she raised such amazing kids who grew to love and take care of others. God Bless you all.

• Permanent Link

Monday, January 28, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Agsd7

Kitty, my heart goes out to you, your mom and your whole family. I know that this is a very difficult time for all of you and I am so sorry.

We went through similar circumstances with my father when he was in his late 60's. Just prepare your heart and mind, knowing that this will be hard, and even heartbreaking at times, but that God is in control and He is with you and will "grow" you through this.

You will most definitely be in my prayers. God bless you.

~Alie

• Permanent Link

Entry 132 of 878
Last Page | Next Page