Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'
Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'
'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet myself.'

*****

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, a student nurse found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he! Didn't need her help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let the nurse wheel him to the elevator.
On the way down she asked him if his wife was meeting him.
'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.'

*****

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.
Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'
'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.
'No, I can remember it.'
'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?'
He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks..
Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes,
The old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'

*****

A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
'So I hear you're getting married?'
'Yep!'
'Do I know her?'
'Nope!'
'This woman, is she good looking?'
'Not really.'
'Is she a good cook?'
'Naw, she can't cook too well.'
'Does she have lots of money?'
'Nope! Poor as a church mouse.'
'Well, then, is she a good lover?'
'I don't know.'
'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'
'Because she can still drive!'

*****

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous middle-aged woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.' 

*****

Rhubarb and Strawberry Pie (Diabetic)

Since summer is almost here and it is time for strawberry and rhubarb, I wanted to send this recipe in. It is a Diabetic recipe and I know you do not get a lot of these and they are just as good made this way. Or you can make it like you normally would.

Ingredients

• 3 cups, cut in 1 inch pieces (or 1 pkg frozen unsweetened rhubarb, thawed and undrained)
• 3/4 cup water
• 1/4 cup flour
• 3 Tbsp. cornstarch
• 2 Tbsp. Lemon juice
• 3 cups sliced strawberries
• 12 1/2 tsp. Equal Measure or 40 packets Equal sweetener or 1 2/3 cups Equal spoonful
• 1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg

Directions

Use favorite recipe for pie crust for a 9 inch crust. Bake in pre heated oven as required by your recipe. Cool on wire rack.

For the whole pie to be baked, oven should be set at 350 degrees F. Add rhubarb into a large covered saucepan over medium heat until rhubarb releases liquid (about 5 minutes). Combine water, flour, cornstarch and lemon juice. Stir into rhubarb and heat to boiling. Reduce heat and simmer uncovered, stirring constantly until mixture is thickened and rhubarb is almost tender (3-5 minutes longer). Stir in strawberries and cook 2-3 minutes longer. Stir Equal and nutmeg into fruit mix.

Spoon into pie crust, spreading evenly. Bake in oven until bubbly about 40 minutes. Cover edge of crust with aluminum foil if browning too quickly. Cool on wire rack, serve warm. Enjoy!

Dietary exchange:

• 1-starch/Bread
• 1 Fruit
• 1 Fat

Grandma’s Blackberry Cobbler

  Crust:

 1 Tbsp. granulated sugar

3/4 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1/3 cup shortening (she used lard)

1/2 cup buttermilk, (saved from making butter)

1-1/3 cups flour

Filling:

1-1/2 lb. blackberries

1-1/3 cups granulated sugar

3-1/2 Tbsp. flour

1-1/3 Tbsp. vanilla extract

Topping:

1/2 Tbsp. melted butter

2-1/2 tsp. granulated sugar

Directions

 Mix all filling ingredients and put into prepared pan.

 For top crust: Mix sugar, baking powder, salt, shortening, buttermilk and 3/4 cup of flour to form a sticky dough. Spread remaining flour on a work surface and knead dough until most of the flour is incorporated and dough is manageable. Roll dough to about 1/4-inch thickness and cut into large pieces. Cover blackberry filling with dough, overlapping pieces, patchwork style.

 Drizzle melted butter over dough and sprinkle with sugar. Bake until crust is golden-brown and filling is bubbly, about 50 minutes. Top with a scoop of ice cream or a whipped topping.

11 Free Clothespin Bag Patterns

Free Laundry Bag Pattern - Vintage (1944)

Best for ages 4 and up

Materials

• Toilet tissue tube (or an ice cube tray to create smaller chunks for younger hands)
• Duct tape
• Aluminum foil if you are using a toilet paper tube (or petroleum jelly if you're using an ice cube tray)
• Disposable plastic container
• Plaster of Paris (Playbox plaster of Paris, about $4 for 4 1/2 pounds, dickblick.com)
• Water
• Liquid tempera paint (Prang Ready-To-Use tempera paint, about $5 for six colors, dickblick.com)
• Spoon

Instructions

Step 1
Cover one end of the toilet paper tube with duct tape. Loosely roll an 8- by-41/2-inch piece of aluminum foil and slip it into the tube so that it lines the inside, fitting snugly. (Or coat the inside of the ice cube tray with petroleum jelly.)

Step 2
Set tube upright (duct tape side down) on protected surface.

Step 3
In a disposable plastic container, help your child mix 1 cup plaster of Paris with 1/2 cup water. Stir slowly and thoroughly until plaster is dissolved, about 1 minute.

Step 4
Immediately add 2 tablespoons paint (or more for brighter chalk color, but be careful it can stain). Mix thoroughly.

Step 5
Spoon into the tube (or ice cube tray). Tap gently so mixture settles to the bottom.

Step 6
Let dry overnight before using.

It has been such a blessing having the grand-babies back down here.  They have been with us for a few days because Michelle ended up in the hospital er for very bad head aches and her head swelled.  But Jeffie has been with us most of the time because he doesn't want to leave here.  But they both left today until Saturday night or ??.

Jeffie has a favorite place to sit when he is here.  It is on Bubba's (my hubby, he is called Bubba because he is carring on the family tradition of male grandpa being called Bubba, I named my grandfather Bubba, my girls called my dad Bubba and the torch has been past on to my hubby)  shoulder  Jeffie will crawl up on his shoulder they will talk and watch fishing and hunting shows.

Here is a picture of Bubba and Jeffie hunting deer 2 nights ago:

They look so cute .

Here is my sleepy deer hunter :

Here is Bubba with Maddie:

Here is Bubba with Maddie and Jeffie who is hiding from his mom Michelle so he wont have to leave, it worked she let him stay:

Well that is all for today.

God Bless, mj