Well the snake has left the chicken house. I’m praying very hard he finds somewhere else to call home. I ‘m so glad he is gone.
Miss Gabby will be here on Monday, June 29, 09 at about 8am. Please keep Tasha and Gabby in your prayers on Monday morning. I will be a Nana.
For some reason I have Tasha’s nesting. And with my school starting in about two weeks, I’ve been cleaning, rearranging, and throwing out, making room, ect. I thought being a grandma was going to be easy. LOL I’m looking forward to being a Nana.
Hope you all have a great week.
Becky
School, Snake, Update: Starting a New Road in Life
On July 13, I start my Associate Degree in Accounting at Everest College: a fully on-line college. The cost is a little more for being on line. But here is why I chose to do on line. My truck is still not fixed, and don’t know now long it’ll last, the price of gas, the local college is 40 minutes away and a few classes on line. I would stress out more with getting to class than doing the classes. Everest got me a Pell Grant and a student loan ( that does not have to be paid back until I’m done with school and only $50 a month.), and they also send a laptop to use and when I graduate the laptop is mine. They will also try to find me a job while I am going to school. I am looking forward to learning again, but a little scared. I started Accounting in college before I meet Tommy, and had 77 credit hours. But when we married, I knew enough to do his business books, so I quit. Which Tommy did not like, so I know he is smiling down now. I have only about 3 1/2 years of getting Tommy’s Social Security before I’m on my own. So I’m preparing for the road ahead. And I really enjoy Accounting and book work. So we’ll see were the Lord leads this for me. Most Accounting work for businesses can be done at home and on line, and I might teach other home school students in high school years their accounting for school, and help low income people with their taxes. There are a lot of ways to use this degree. Please pray that the Lord will keep guiding and leading me day by day.
TommieLynn asked to go to public school. We talked about it and she’ll being starting this fall. She has agreed to go a year and than we’ll see from there. I think she needs a change too. I enjoy homeschooling but I think this will be good for her. I fought the idea at first because Tommy and I really wanted the kids homeschooled. But that was also when he was here to help with everything. I believed I would be a failure if I put her in school, then this came to mind, “ For everything there is a season.” And we are doing this one year at a time. So please say a prayer for her.
It has been very hot here. Boy, it’s going to be a hot summer. Yesterday, I hung old blankets on the clothes line on the porch and soaked them with water. The porch wraps around the living room and kitchen, which gets the direct sun at the hottest part of the day. The 4 windows in the living room are under the porch. So as the light breeze blew the cooler air came in the house. This is not as good as an AC but it helped a lot. TommieLynn would go out about every hour and spray the blankets with the water hose. The porch looks funny from the road but we are a little cooler.
On Sunday I found out that men are scared of snakes too. I found a really big black snake in a chicken’s nest. So I call a man for help. He says, use a rake/ hoe to get it out and tells me to watch out cause they bite and will make you sick. duh, I’m that smart. Well I’m not going back in there today. That snake can have all the eggs he wants. And he was still there last night when I checked before bed. It almost makes me want to get rid of the chickens. I really not like snakes. If he is still there this morning, I will try again and call someone to help me.
TommieLynn and I took silk flowers that spell out DAD and a wooden cross to Tommy’s grave site yesterday. This was really hard on both of us. I guess all firsts will be hard. We still really miss him.
We have an air antenna and have the convertor box hooked up. And I’m not very happy. Were we used to get 5 channels, we now only get one! Now the picture is much better but that’s it. I will not get satellite or cable. They said I have to many mountains around me. Well I will watch what I need to ( ABC News) on line. This is what I miss the most, ABC News, I have watch that News for to many years to count. Oh well not a lot I can do about it now. I still have Netflix ,on line News and TV shows, so life goes on.
Well I had better start this day. I’m going with Tasha to the doctors this morning, praying little Miss Gabby has turned. Hope you all have a great blessed day.
July 13, I start my Associate Degree in Accounting at Everst College which is a fully on-line college. Ready or not here I come. I was so blessed to find a fully on-line college. No driving, no gas, blessed. I can be home more for TommieLynn and little Miss Gabby when she gets here.
Honestly I am a little scared. But by God's grace I can do this, for myself and my family. Thank you all for your prayers.
I have signed up to a college, a big step. I need prayer in this area as I am praying the classes I took 12-13 years ago will be transfered. I had 77 credits back then. It would be such a blessing if some or even all would transfer. If not, I'll have to take an enter exam, which is scary, what have I forgotten over the years???? Am I to older, I hope not. :)
It's been really hot here. No AC, just fans. My day yesterday was ok, with some crying. But Father's Day is coming so that is hard too. Thank you all for your prayers.
I have been trying to live this new life ( my husband died in March this year) and find myself too. It's been hard and I don't always like it, this new life without my better half. As Cammy said, I now have to go on living with half of me gone, learn to live again. Thank you Cammy for our wonderful, hope filling talk, thank you.
Being a widow is like walking in the dark in a strange place you have never been before. Running into things, hitting your toes on things, getting hurt, and feeling very alone. You can't see any light but you know it's there somewhere, so you try to keep looking. Some days your to tired to look, and don't really care. Then the next day, you walk a little faster, hoping and praying for a little light/hope/ anything. At times God send little things and people to help you in the dark. And for that I'm very thankful. Taking steps are hard in the dark, but sometimes you get a little light for the next step. Trying to find me again has been hard too. I don't enjoy many things any more. Some days I just do the have TOO's. And even that takes all I've got. I do have some easy days, but right now they are few and far between.
Ok the new farm here. I have sold the milk cow and bull cow, taken down all their fences. I now just have chickens, cats, dogs and hamsters(they are TommieLynn's). I did not put out a real garden this year. I did not have it in me. This was something Tommy and I did together. The food barn is full, so we will not go hungry. But by next year, I will plant again. For everything there is a season. After 12 plus years of gardening, I'm taking a break. What do people do during the summer when they don't garden??
My first grandbaby will be here soon. And I will be "Nana". I don't see myself being called grandma, I think I'm to young for that. LOL TommieLynn is so happy to be a Aunt soon, but has not pick out what she wants to be called yet. It would be hard for a baby to say "Aunt TommieLynn". So she has been thinking on it for now. Right now the baby , Miss Gabby, is head up and 6 1/2 pounds, if she does not turn by July 1, they will take her. So please pray that she'll turn.
TommieLynn has been doing more in the kitchen/cooking. And is loving it. She made me pancakes and sausage this morning all by her self, boy you should have seen her smile. She has now planned what she says she'll make me every morning for the rest of the week. Boy they sure do grow up fast.
Well you all must be tired of reading now, so I'll try and post again in the morning.
Well I can say I off to a rough start, but I am kicking hard. And by God’s grace we will make it. Well for starters, the day Tommy went home, my truck broke- timing chain and water pump. So I got these fixed. But today the truck started spraying oil. Ok, Now I really want/need a horse and buggy. But wait there is more. The Social Security Office said Friday that I would not get any widow benefits until May(a whole month and the first on the month is this week.) I am a little rattled to say the least. But then this morning I went to the food bank, and saw a family getting paper goods(plastic bowls, and silverware) so they could feed their kids as their power was turned off last week. My heart broke, here I was getting upset because of money and my truck, when I do have so so much to be thankful for. And the lady that runs the food bank talk to me a while. Thank you Lord for her. I had had my eyes on myself and not others and God. So I got a spanking from God today. She asked about this blog, and I told I had not been here in a while. She said people needed it. So I am back and now you all will see me start this new journey, my new life. Let me tell you it’s scary at times, as I do not do change will. But I am holding tight to God’s hand as he walks me through each moment and each day. I am very thankful for my food storage. And everything I learned to make it through the hard times.
Thank you all for your prayers and comments here, they are such a blessing to me and the girls. Thank you again.
Ok, now I am trying to sell the small truck and the beef bull. Rent, power, phone bills have to be paid this week. So if you all we say a little prayer that someone would buy these. I was going to put the bull in the freezer, but we still have 1 1/2 cows meat in freezer and there is now only 3 of us. So that is a year plus in meat.
The man came and tried to get the bull yesterday morning, he had brought an other man with him. Two hours of chasing the bull and almost getting him in the trailer but bull broke through them. The bull ran around the yard then broke the gate to get back into his field. Tommy always went out and helped load cows, while I stayed in the house. Boy, I sure wish he was here again. The men left without the bull and said they’d be back last night.
The man came back by his self. The bull went into the stall and we used a rope to hold the gate closed so he could not get out. The man had me hold the rope to keep a 500lb mad bull in there. I had no gloves on and no where to wrap the rope around but my hands. Well the bull didn’t want to stay in there, and he pushed and rammed the gate. I kept losing my grip on the rope, which allowed the gate to open some. After 10 minutes of fighting with this mad bull, some thing popped in my chest and by now I have rope burn and now a big deep cut on my finger where the rope was. My nerves are shot now, and I’m shaking all over. I told the man I could not hold any longer and let go. He was not happy but he was also smart enough not to open his mouth. He did say he would be back today with a gun that would put the bull to sleep while they loaded it. I said good and walked away.
I had wondered if my decision was right to get rid of the bull was right, NOW I have no doubts, none! The sooner that bull leaves the happier I’ll be.
The guy brought my truck back last night. He said that with the big trucks, it had extra oil lines for pulling large loads. And since I would no longer be pulling loads, he did away with the lines and plugged the holes. Total cost $2.00. Thank you Lord. The guy has worked on Tommy’s and my trucks for years. So I know he has blessed me when he fixed my truck the last two times. Please pray the Lord would bless this guy.
My farm will now just be chickens and gardens. That decision has been made very very clear. No more cows, I can’t handle them by my self.
It has rained here on and off now for more than two weeks. So getting into the garden to work has not happened.
Yesterday was an eye opening day, and I’m so glad it’s over. I know the Lord walked closely with me yesterday. And for that I’m thankful.
Life was so much easier when there was two of us making decisions. Now every time I make one, I wondered if it’s right.
Becky
“Forgive always, and show unconditional love to everyone you meet.”
Tommy went home this morning at 6:51 am. He went peaceful. He is now in the hands of the Lord. No more pain, and no more tears. He is waiting for us, to join him there. Heaven is rejoicing at another saint coming home. Our hearts here are heavy and sad, as we will truly miss this wonderful Godly man. But the Lord will walk us through this to the other side. Tommy life touch many lives, he will be missed.
I have not had much time lately. Tommy is getting weaker everyday. His time to go home is nearing. I am not ready for him to go but I know when he does he will no longer be in pain. And I have been trying to plan what TommieLynn and I will do in the future. And that's really hard. I have been really tried in body, mind and soul. Only by God's grace do I get through the days and nights. Please pray that God will show me what to do?
Hopefully I can get back on here soon. I really miss you all. Hope you all are doing good. I think of you all daily.
Shawn and Cindy came and got TommieLynn for the weekend, Friday night. TommieLynn was overly happy to spend the weekend with her brother. Thank you Shawn and Cindy. Tasha went to Carl’s for most of the weekend. So it was just Tommy and I. Oh, what a treat. It has been many years since we have had a weekend alone together.
I took him out to eat Saturday night to his favorite restaurant to get his favorite meal. The restaurant had 4 men walking around singing to those of us eating. The restaurant had candles and flowers on the table. It was a wonderful evening, which we both really enjoyed. Thank you Lord, for blessing our evening and time together. I did have to give Tommy a dose of morphine while we were there but he said he had a great time with a smile. When we got home he did put on his oxygen and rested with a full belly and a smile in his face. His smile on his face so very much blessed me. I have found that the smaller things bless my heart so much more now than ever before. Thank you Lord again for a wonderful evening.
It is now time to cut down my chickens. We have 25+ chickens. And their feed bill is getting to high. People are no longer buying eggs. So I am giving away 2-3 flats of eggs a week. Don’t get me wrong, I do not mind giving eggs away, but their feed bill is about $30 a week. We no longer eat a lot of eggs a week, maybe 1-2 dozen. So we are down sizing the chickens. More than like, we will give the extra chickens away, to those who need them for food. Tommy is no longer able to butcher them, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. Now I could if I had too, but right now I don’t have too. Thank you Lord . So we will get the chickens down to 8-12 hens and a rooster, that way we will still be able to bless others with some eggs without over spending on feed. The beef cow is getting fatter, and will go into the freezer hopeful by late spring/ early summer. And then all the pasture fences will come down.
Looking to spring: We will not have the big garden down in the field this year. The strawberry & tomato patch (were I have many raised beds and is fenced in) will be used again this year. And I have to fence in an area for potatoes and some corn, up closer to the house but away from the strawberry patch. So I have been scouting the yard for the right place to put it. It will not be real big as there is only 4 of us now. I will only plant 50 lbs. of potatoes instead of 200 lbs. We love potatoes. Our potatoes did not do very well last year, maybe a new spot will help. I have really missed our potatoes this winter. And just enough corn to eat fresh and a little to freeze, not 8 rows 150 ft. long. All other veg’s will go into the raised beds. So this will be our first year with a small garden.
The only seeds/plants I have to buy this spring are: potatoes, tomatoes, onions sets. I have enough seeds for the other things we grow for about 3 years. Which is a great blessing. We were blessed last year with a really big box of seed packets: veg’s. , flowers, herbs seeds. Yes, not all of them will come up due to being last years seeds, but more than 80% will. So I just replant seeds that don’t come up, and have done so for years. Every fall when our feed store marks that years seeds to half price, I buy the seeds I need to plant the following spring. I save money on seeds. As the seeds get older the percentage of the ones that will come up goes down some. I have planted some seeds that were over 3 years old, and had a good crop.
As the girls and I will be doing all the yard work this year, I am looking for ways to cut back on as much as I can. One things I am going to do to cut down on weed eating is: put straw/mulch/hay around things and places that usually need to be weed eat-ed. I can get all the straw and hay from our feed store for free: I pick up the broken bales off the ground, there is always a lot. TommieLynn has been begging to use the push mower, oh little does she know what she’s asking for. She starts this year, we’ll see now long she’ll want to mow.
We have friends coming in this coming weekend, Scott and Ann. Then the following week, Tommy’s sister, Linda, is coming for a visit. He has not seen her in 6+ years. They both are really looking forward to this visit.
Well I am going to finish enjoying my quiet weekend. Hope you all have a great week.
If you click this icon here, it will take you to there site. You have to go to http://jordansfarm.blogspot.com/ to be able to get a book of Jordan’s Farm and Becky’s Farm Life and click the same icon there.
When you click the icon, it will take you to a site to make your own book of Becky’s Farm Life and Jordan’s Farm. I have transferred posts and comments from here. 90% of this blog is there, they would not let me do tabs, but the recipes are there. I get 20% of sales on soft and hard cover books. You may print only a months worth of blog posts to them all, it’s up to you.
If you order a book: Would you please write a comment here to let me know. This is new to me and I would like to know who’s buying, and if the Blog2Print site will let me know.
Hopefully I can use this to bring more money into the house.
Tommy is in the hospital tonight and should be home tomorrow. I had to call 911 at about 11am to come and get him. He was having a hard time breathing, his skin was more yellow, and his pulse keep going higher.
The doctor in ER said that Tommy’s blood ememzines (?Spell) were very low and his hemoglobin (?spell)was really low, which was making it hard for him to breath and making him feel like he was smothering. Tommy’s blood was not carrying oxygen like it was supports too. The doctor believes the cancer has gotten into the bone marrow and is eating the red cells. They are giving Tommy 2 pints of red blood cells tonight, which will help him feel better and breath easier. This is only a kind of quick fix and will only last a few weeks at most. Kind of like giving him morphine for pain. Tommy can chose to get more blood but we have no insurance and this time we with in through the ER. The ER doctor said that the 2 pints of red blood cells were very expensive. I don’t know what to do next? But tonight he is getting them. The rest is in the Lord’s hands.
Tommy was looking a little better when I left, but very tired. He was not as pale looking. Please keep praying for us. And thank you all for your prayers.
Becky
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 06, 2009 09:15 AM, CST
mom called from hospital this morning dads hospice dropped his case last night we need hard fast pray now for a new hospice to pick up tommy please pray hard
tasha
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 07, 2009 04:11 PM, EST
Thursday evening: After Tommy was settled into his room and I had talked to the nurses, we went home. By this time it was really dark, ( I can’t see to drive at night, I’m blinded by on coming head lights). So I followed Tasha in her car, which really helped. Well about a mile from the hospital, my windshield was dirty, so I sprayed it and turned on the wipers. Well being my brain was not working well- my windshield is now a sheet of ice, while driving down the road. I had to roll down the drivers window to see to pull over. Tasha came back to see why I had pulled over, I told her- she said mom it’s 10 degrees. I just cried as I scraped ice off the windshield. The Lord then got us home safe and sound. Thank you Lord. After we got home I called some family with the update on Tommy and thankfully they passed it on to others. I was so very tired both mind and body. I prayed all night: Lord, will you please send us a better hospice or give ours now a heart to help Tommy.Friday: I awoke praying the same prayer. Tommy called a little after 8am saying the doctor had been there and he was ready to go home. I started getting ready to go get him; and dread, worry, fear started to cover me and I started shaking. It all came on so fast and that to scared me. Instead of letting my mind have it’s way - I started saying the 23rd Psalm out loud then said 2 Timothy 1:7 “My God did not give me the spirit of fear: but of power, and of love and of a sound mind.” I kept repeating these two all the way to the hospital. It was a fight, and by the time I got to the hospital, I was calmed down and had peace. Thank you Lord.
I went in and talked to Tommy and then went to tell the nurses I was there. While I was packing up Tommy’s things, his room phone rung. I answered it. It was the hospices head RN, I told her I was going to call as soon as I got home. She said no need too, that they dropped/discarded Tommy’s case last night and we could not leave the hospital until we found another hospice to take up his care. I asked, Why? She said because I had took Tommy to an uncontracted hospital for treatment. I said he was having trouble breathing. She said, we are no longer his hospice and hung up.
I can honestly say, if I had not prayed all morning- I know I would have lost my mind with a nerves breakdown. Thank you Lord for preparing me. Now I’m in total shock!!
Tommy saw my face turn white as I was hanging up, and started to ask me, but I just held up my hand for him to give me a minute. I took a few deep breaths and tried so hard to pray but worry and fear came in again fast. So I told Tommy everything. Then started making phone calls asking for fast prayer, as I just could not seem to get the prayers out at that moment. Then I called our family doctor( they had set us up with the first hospice) and told them what happened(they had told me to take Tommy fast to an ER yesterday), She said she would look into it and get back to me. Honestly, now I’m shaking and wrapped tight in fear and worry and my mind is on overload. I asked to talk to the head nurse to see about talking to the hospitals social worker, she said she’d send her to the room. So I go back to the room to wait. Tommy says he wants a candy bar, so off I go to get him one. While on my way back to the room a small voice says, ”You asked for a newhospice, but I’ll do it My way.”I started crying and asking for forgiveness for my lack of faith and for worrying. And an overwhelming peace filled me. Thank you Lord. I walked into Tommy’s room crying and he asked why. I told him of my prayer last night and this morning and our answer coming. He cried too. We both thank the Lord and took a few deep breaths. We both had to fight hard to keep fear and worry away and hang on tight to His words for a few hours. We kept talking about all the prayers He has answered over the years. Then the call came from our family doctor, they found us a new hospice who would pick up Tommy’s case. And would be coming to the hospital as soon as our doctor signed and faxed them the paper work. Tommy and I gave thanks again to the Lord. They came and we signed papers.
Tommy and I left the hospital about 3 pm. The new hospice nurse was at our house at 5 pm. She was wonderful, and said they would get Tommy’s pain under control ASP. Tasha came home while she was still here. I had sent her out for a fast food dinner. I was totally worn out with no strength left to make dinner. Thank you Tasha for running into town for me.
The nurse called me an hour and a half later: She said that so far with the information she was plugging in, they would cover his cancer, but not sure yet if they could cover his COPD breathing meds, but no matter what I could keep the oxygen machine. With a peaceful heart, I told her ,“to do what she could do and the Lord would see to the rest. If it turns out we have to buy his COPD meds and inhalers that the Lord would provide them or a way to get them.” She said, “ she agreed as she to has seen the Lord answer prayers and knows He takes care of His own.” Tommy’s and my bodies are worn out , but our spirits are joyful and peaceful.
Thank you Lord for walking us through yet another day and for blessing us so. And answering prayers in Your way and in Your time. Thank you for forgiving us of our weak faith and trust.
Today looking back I now see: the Lord prepared me for bad news ( hospice letting us go), reminding me He is still answering my prayers in His way and His time, walking with us in what felt like our darkest hours, strengthening our faith and trust in Him, renewing our hope in hospice people. Thank you Lord. But in order for us to grow in him, and our faith and trust to grow: we must go through trials, fears, unknowns, lonely times to be able to see His hands and love in it all. That’s were faith and trust become stronger with each trial we look back on. When going through trials we do not always feel Him near us and helping us- But He NEVER leaves us- not even when we don’t feel him. Thank you Lord for carrying my family through another trial. And please help us to always remember this trial and the work you did in it when the next trial comes.
Saturday: Tommy had some pain last night but morphine stop it. The new hospice nurse was out this morning. She is going to be asking the new hospice doctor Monday morning for: morphine sulfate MSER 100 mg (she said if by second dose it’s not working they will up it); a new sleeping pill, a much stronger anti- inflammatory, and a few other things. What a great blessing not having to wait a week plus for something to work and go up on dose.
Tommy had corn beef hash and eggs to eat. Then watched some NetFlixs. And is now going out on the porch to get some vitamin D with it 70 it’s nice and warm for him.
I can’t thank you all enough for all your prayers, Thank you.
Last night I made an old treat here. I have made it before but not for many,many years.
Fast Donuts
buy a can of the cheapest canned biscuits you can find.
you will need a deep fryer, like for french fries, or a deep pan with oil.
a donut topping: cake frosting, cinnamon and sugar, powdered sugar, a glaze, jelly, whatever you like
open the can of biscuits, flatten each one ( can even stick your finger in the middle if you want a hole there)
then drop into hot oil, brown each side
allow to cool just a bit, not to much, just enough to be able to handle
then add your topping
these are not as good when cold, but I had no left overs, so no problem there.
Tommy and TommieLynn loved them and asked when I was making more. I just laughed. I know there are homemade recipes out there but these are fast donuts. I paid 35 cents for a can of 10 biscuits, and had some left over frosting from a cake. If you find a good sale on canned biscuits, open them up and wrap each biscuit in wax paper and place the number you want to use each time in a freezer bag and freeze them. My Granny made these when I was a kid, and we all loved them.
Beware they disappear faster then you can get them cooked.
I have not had a lot to say. ( alright now, no laughing) And I’m not sure what else needs to be posted on stocking foods and getting ready for the hard times ahead. I have been doing a lot of reading on the Internet, and checking on everyone. This site is still showing a lot of hits on stocking up and canning potatoes, etc.
I’m not liking what I hear on the News: more job loses, more people losing their homes, more companies lay off and closing down, and now the recall on peanut products. This mess will not be leaving us any time soon. So I’ll continue to keep a watch on our money, keep stocking, and keep looking for more ways to save money. And I’ll post any new finds I find out about.
Here we have seen good days and bad days but/and overly blessed. But we are still kicking hard. And we are thankful for grace and mercy for each day. This world is not our home. Tommy has good and bad days. And still loves his mp3 player. While he listened to it this morning, he found a loving message from Tommielynn. I did not even know she put it on there. But it brought a wonderful smile to Tommy’s face.
Tommielynn has stayed up late with Tommy a few nights, watching and helping him. I was informed by her that I needed my sleep and it was her alone time with her daddy. She has been a great help to me in helping with Tommy’s care. I am so very blessed to have a wonderful family.
With the weather not being the greatest(snow, rain), I admit I’ve been using the dryer for the clothes. In a way it’s been nice using it. (It does save some time, but also uses more power). Well I’ll use it as a treat for me. And it really only took the power bill up about $20, not bad for using it 4-5 times a week for about a month. This last week’s weather has been really different: one day is shorts, and the next layered clothes. No wonder I can’t get rid of this head cold.
I'm still kicking. But boy, oh boy is it cold here. It's 6 degrees this morning. And I can stay in the warm house, as we no longer have the milk cow. So no more frozen fingers and noses. At 6 degrees outside, I'm really glad we sold the cow. Yesterday it did not get above 30 all day. I have seen where some of you are having it colder than me. And even some of you with lots of snow. Burrrrrr.
Tommy's had good days and bad days. The pain comes and goes from his knees and chest. The morphine seems to help most times. Please keep praying for him.
The farm is still doing good. The chickens are still giving us a lot of eggs, which we are sharing. The beef bull is getting bigger. Hopefully by early summer he can go into the freezer.
My step-son told me about iPod Shuffle player, as I told him when I laid down to rest my mind kicked in on all I had to do. So I got one and downloaded books to it. It has made my rest time better. As hard as I try to stop my mind, well it's hard to do. Am I worrying? I don't think so, just going over everything that needs to be done. I have also loaded the iPod with parts of the Bible. And found out my library will allow you to download books free for a week at a time, off their Internet site, as long as you have a library card. They allow 5 books out at a time. They have adults and kids books, this find was a blessing. This is a money saver too. You might want to check with your library too, about this. As I know most kids and adults have some kind of iPod or MP3 players. You can also listen to to books from your computer or burn to Cd's to play on CD players. I just found out about this last week. So I thought I share what I found out. TommieLynn loves it, as do I.
On another note: For those of you that can foods. Have you stocked up on canning lids? I try and keep about a year's worth on hand. You never know when you will need them. They store forever, and you can usually buy them year round. Try and buy a pack or two every time you go to town, or when you can. You may not have money this summer to buy them, or power may go off for to long. You may not know when someone will bless you with meat and veg's, at any time of year. It a small thing, these lids, but you can't can without them. I ran out once during canning, a lesson learned well.
I have been keeping up with you all here, and glad you all are well. It seems to be a busy time for everyone. Trying to finds ways to save money, stretch what money you do have, looking for jobs, etc. Thank you all for the ideas and ways you have posted as they have helped me, too. This Internet is a blessing too. I have meet wonderful people, made new friends all over the world, got new ideas, and have learned so much.
TJ, Tex and Janet came up this past weekend. They got the tools out of the shop, so we can close it and stop paying rent there. They also got two large buffets out of our living room. This really open it up. And will allow Tommy to use his walker easier now. Now I have to find a place for everything that was in them. I still have some boxes in the floor. TJ put a part on the truck. We all worked hard this past weekend. Thank you all again for everything you did and all your help.
I sold the milk cow this past Tuesday, a mixed blessing. No more milking but also no more milk. TommieLynn is so very happy to be done with milking. I froze and canned some milk yesterday. And I thought I’d get to sleep in Wednesday morning, well only until 7:30 am as the dogs woke me up wanting out, oh well. And this morning, I am up at 4 am coughing really hard, but I will let the dogs out and go back to bed. I’m still fighting this yuck in my chest, and I’m almost done with round two of antibiotics and on my 5th bag of Halls cough drops, and week 5 of this. I have tried everything under the sun, even herbs. How long can this last???
It rained really hard yesterday and is to do the same today. We had rivers going through the fields and in the yard. The poor chickens looked so funny, them being all wet and muddy. Tommy told me to tie a rope to the truck and tied it to the porch. It was bad, we have not had that much rain in years. Yes, here we really needed it but didn’t want it all in one day.
A friend, Jenny, said the Lord was giving me my wings, when I talked to her last week. To be honest it felt like He was cutting my wings, with all the changes. Jenny said He was giving me my wings to fly. And at the time (last week) I felt grounded, very grounded. I didn’t feel like flying, and did not see it that way. And this really bothered me. Why I could not see what someone else saw. So the more I thought about it, the clearer it became. The things being taken away, the changes being made, were to lighten my load so I could fly. A bird can’t fly when it’s loaded down with things it really does not need. I see it like a bird who’s wing was broke, and it could not fly for a while, but still remembers flying. And has to wait for the wing to heal, and then relearn to fly again. Or like the fighting roosters tied to a little house, they can move some but can’t fly very high or far. I have always like the song, “ On the Wings of a Snow White Dove”, so Tommy has brought me doves over the years. And as I looked around my house at all the doves, I remembered, He sends His love on the wings of a dove. Now I see that the Lord is teaching me to fly again, and like the birds learning to fly again, it’s hard work and it hurts. And some birds don’t want to leave what they have known, being grounded by string or broken wing or just caged. They have forgotten what it is like to fly. I too, have forgotten what it’s like to fly, but I am remembering now. I want to fly again. I have allowed things and people to ground/ cage me. But my wings are healing and the door is opening, freedom is in the air. And just like the birds, I too, will fly through the storms of life or soar above them. I want others to see His love on my wings again, I want to fly for Him. To bad, I did not see all this sooner, so as not to fight it so hard. But I am thankful the Lord did not give up on me and keep at me to fly again. Is the Lord working on your wings?? Are you grounded or caged? Has something in life broken one of your wings? The Lord is waiting for you to fly again, He’s waiting to heal you, too.
I have been looking ahead and trying to make a plan before Spring and Summer gets here. There has been a lot of changes in my life this year - some good and some not so good - little and big. I am not very good at change. Some changes are good for us, some hurt really bad, some don’t last to long. My family is smaller in size now, needs are changing from a few years ago, and I’m getting older. We loved are full farm and all it gave us. But now there are not as many hands as before working the farm. And it’s finally hit me, I can’t run the farm by myself. Don’t get me wrong the girls help all they can. But a farm is a lot of work year round. And I really would like to spend more time with my family.
So here is some of the ways we are going to down size some:
I am selling my milk cow as soon as I can. We love the milk but thinking ahead there is no way I can keep the fence lines weed eat or all the fields mowed and do a garden. And come fall, the thought of loading and unloading a 100 bales of hay for winter use, is not a good picture. And we no longer drink 4-5 gallons of milk a week. So it’s time to say good bye to milking.
The Black Angus Bull now running in the field, will be fatten up and put in the freezer as fast as we can. And while we are eating his meat, I’ll put some money back every month to buy a half cow for meat. I know where I can do this cheaper than store prices and the cows are feed the way I feed mine. ( I’ll also be able to buy half a hog when needed). So we will still be able to get great meat without all the work. I worked the price out, it’s only 50 cents more a pound if someone else raises it. Which is about $1.09 a pound, cut and wrap and fast froze. Still cheaper than the store meat, and better tasting too.
My husband is selling his big tractor. We will not be mowing the fields any more or having a great big garden. We are switching to raised beds for most, and making a fenced in area for potatoes. We no longer need a big garden to feed us. I still will be able to get apples and pears off the ground from friends. So I think I have our food planned out.
We will keep our chickens for meat and eggs. And sell chickens and eggs. They are very easy to care for. And I HATE STORE BROUGHT EGGS.
We have 3 freezers that I would like to get down to using just 1 or 2. Which means canning more meat.
We will be growing a few more vegetable and I’ll can every thing I can get my hands on. This new life is going to be really different, as we have lived this way for 10 + years. And it has kept us feed well. But changes are here like it or not. The Word says there is a season for everything, I guess my season is changing again. Time to learn new things, new and different ways.
Tommy and I are not looking forward to selling the milk cow or his tractor, we worked long and hard for both, Tommy and I together broke the milk cow to hand milking and she was born here on the farm, and Tommy has wait years to be able to buy the tractor: but now it’s time.
This blog will still be about farm life, now just a mini farm life. And I will still share all I have learned and will be learning here.
Well for now we will be down sizing to fit our needs better. Will I ever have a full farm again, only the good Lord knows that and He’s not told me yet. So for now it’s one day at a time, going where the Lord leads us.
Life has been full lately. Tommy has been having a hard time with pain: Hopefully this is straighten out now. I have been sick for 3 weeks now, and last Thursday I went and got an antibiotic. And I have been doing only the "have to" chores. The farm is doing good. The girls are fine. The weather does not know what it wants to do- one day cold, next day warm.
I sure have miss you all. Hopefully I can get back here now and read up on what everyone has been up too. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas. Our Christmas was good. Tommy got a tractor book, he has wanted for a while. TommieLynn got a small MP3 player, which she loves. We had a quiet day.
Tommy is still enjoying NetFlix. He said last night that he finally figured out the remote control. And loves the fact he no longer has to watch commercials.
Scott and Ann came up again for a few days. And they helped out around here. Thank you both very much for your help. And for putting a smile on Tommy's face.
This is from Caring Bridge site this morning.
Good Morning everyone,
I'm sorry it's been so long but it's been a long week. OK here goes:
Friday 19, Three people came out from hospice and talked to Tommy and I for about an hour. They said they would see about a break through med.
Saturday 20, Tommy woke up at 6 am having a hard time breathing. So we moved the oxygen machine into the bedroom. (he now uses the oxygen nightly)He is still hurting but not as bad as before.
Sunday 21, My grandmother died this evening.
Monday 22, At 12:20 am Tommy fell and I woke to a crashing sound. He's not hurt. At 11am, Tommy falls again trying to pick up clothes off the floor. He's not hurt. Then Dr. Burke calls me: and says he has made a mistake and can not take Tommy's case and will give it back to the hospice doctor. And he is really sorry. (now we are not sure if the hospice doctor will take Tommy back.) Then my uncle calls and says my cousin has been in a bad car wreck. Her 3 little girls only had some stitches and are OK. But she was throw from the car. The doctors have put her into a coma as all her face bones are broke and her skull is cracked. Then I go to town to find a walker for Tommy. And while I'm gone he falls again, not hurt. Our pastor bring us gifts from the church and has prayer with us. Very long day, and I'm still fighting this cold/ sinus infection.
Tuesday 23, The hospice nurse came out to get Tommy's vitals and stresses again about the meds and his BP. About 15 minutes after she leaves, a DSS Social Worker (Social Services)came to our door.(OK Lord I'm only one person.) First thing she say to me,"I told my boss before I even left the office that these charges would be unfounded. But by law I have to come out." She said she was sorry about Tommy's cancer and would pray for him and us. And she was really sorry to bother us, but she had to come out. She said the charges were unfounded and wish us a Merry Christmas and left. ( please say a prayer for the person who called them). At 4:30pm the hospice nurse called and Dr. Witt is back on the case and has ordered the drop Morphine immediate release, to be taken .25-.5 ml every 2 hours (before when he had the morphine it was .5-1 ml every hour). But we are very thankful to have it now.
Wednesday 24, Tommy got up really tired and with a little pain. Miss Jenny sent us a lot (I mean a lot) of apples and oranges, and so homemade clothes soap. Tommy just grinned from ear to ear when he seen all the bags of fruit. Thank you very much, Miss Jenny. Please give the boys a hug and kiss from us. This was kind of a very lazy day.
Thursday 25, I was up most of the night coughing which had Tommy up most of the night. Tommy had went out to check something on the truck, and while coming back up the stairs, his knees went weak, he fell to his knees, not hurt. I was there and helped him back up, then made him promise not to go back down without me, he said OK. So TJ and Tex when you get here I need you all to put a hand rail at the back steps, please. Another church brought us 3 Christmas dinners plates and a fruit basket this evening.
Tommy ate more dinner tonight, than he has eaten in a long time. I guess because it was his favorite: fried Chicken and liver, french fries and corn. It was so good to see him eat so much.
Friday 26, Then this morning when I woke up to give Tommy his 4 am pills, He said I already took them at 2 am. I said no you can't do that, he just said sorry. Well at his 6 am pills, I noticed not all the pills were in the slot. So I asked him, he said some fell into the sink at 2 am. One of which was the 40mg pain pill that he can't get again until 10am. So I am praying that his pain will be low until then. I can't give him another 40mg, as the hospice keeps a count of all the pills, every time they come out. and now I'll have to hide the pills from him.
It's been a very long, hard week. But by God's grace and mercy, we have made it through. He even threw in blessings along the way to bless us. Thank you Lord for watching out for us yet again. Thank you all for your prayers. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas.
This has been a very long, hard year for my family. But thank you Lord, you have seen us through it each step of the way, and have poured Your blessings out on us. Thank you Lord for all our friends and family, and all my Internet sisters who have become great friends to me. Lord, please bless them all.
I’m still here. Tommy has had a bad week with pain. And I’ve been trying to get pain relief for him. If I have not written here in a while, then please check the Caring Bridge site for updates. I have been fighting the hospice people trying to get help. They are so good at giving you the run around and blaming others. If I knew there was enough time left, I’d go and get my doctors degree just to help Tommy. I am sorry but at times, I seem to know more than them, and I’m just a wife and mom.
We had company this past weekend. Janet (Tommy’s ex-wife) and her husband,Tex came up for the weekend. They came loaded down with goodies. They brought: a TV tray, pj, shirts, fruit, nuts, choc. covered cherries for Tommy: the girls got an outfit and shoes and pj’s: I got baking goods and yarn. We had a good visit. But Tommy was in pain most of weekend. So Tommy and Tex watched NetFlix and had some laughs. Tex told Janet that he now wanted NetFlix for Christmas this year. This was really funny. Tommy really enjoyed having another male to enjoy the western movies with. Janet and I would just laugh at them while they were watching the movies. Thank you Tex and Janet for everything.
Tasha went to the doctors this week. The baby’s fine and is due to be here June 6,O8. She is having a little evening sickness. We all are so looking forward to this little one the Lord is blessing us with.
TommieLynn is doing ok, and is slowly getting over her cold. She was so happy that Janet had taught her to use curlers on her hair and got her her own curlers too. She is looking forward to Christmas. And praying it will snow on Christmas. Which I’m not sure it will as for the last few days we have had the house windows open because it’s so warm. This is really one weird winter.
I am fighting with a cold as well, stuffy head,being very tired, nose and eye running, coughing and feeling very yucky. All this because my girls just love to share with their mom. I have been knitting dish clothes for gifts this year, and almost done. Hoping to feel better real soon as I need to start baking Christmas goodies. TommieLynn has deemed herself old enough to help more with baking this year( really she just wants to lick more bowls). Milk cow is still giving us milk. Chicken are still laying, but have cut back just a little.
Well I had better get ready for morning chores, before the cow comes looking for me.
Thank you all again for all your comments and ideas. We had company come in this weekend to see Tommy. But this coming week, I will put up some kind of tree. And let you all know.
The girls and I have been sick with sore throats, runny noses, etc. Just feeling down right yucky. It's been cold and rainy here, which does not help much. Tommy is still having a lot of pain in his hip and the pain pills are not working. I got our family a early Christmas gift of NetFlix, and Tommy loves it the most. To see why I picked NetFlix over Satellites (http://jordansfarm.wordpress.com/2008/12/06/netflix-verses-satellites/) click link to see the post. NetFlix cost the least in the long run and we could get more of what we like to watch. The best thing I found so far. And really wish I knew about it sooner, for Tommy.
The cost is a little more for being on line. But here is why I chose to do on line. My truck is still not fixed, and don’t know now long it’ll last, the price of gas, the local college is 40 minutes away and a few classes on line. I would stress out more with getting to class than doing the classes. Everest got me a Pell Grant and a student loan ( that does not have to be paid back until I’m done with school and only $50 a month.), and they also send a laptop to use and when I graduate the laptop is mine. They will also try to find me a job while I am going to school. I am looking forward to learning again, but a little scared. I started Accounting in college before I meet Tommy, and had 77 credit hours. But when we married, I knew enough to do his business books, so I quit. Which Tommy did not like, so I know he is smiling down now. I have only about 3 1/2 years of getting Tommy’s Social Security before I’m on my own. So I’m preparing for the road ahead. And I really enjoy Accounting and book work. So we’ll see were the Lord leads this for me. Most Accounting work for businesses can be done at home and on line, and I might teach other home school students in high school years their accounting for school, and help low income people with their taxes. There are a lot of ways to use this degree. Please pray that the Lord will keep guiding and leading me day by day.
I still have Netflix ,on line News and TV shows, so life goes on. 
If you click this icon here, it will take you to there site. You have to go to http://jordansfarm.blogspot.com/ to be able to get a book of Jordan’s Farm and Becky’s Farm Life and click the same icon there.