Okay, let me first say that the overwhelming responses to yesterdays post which was put both on Homsechoolblogger and Homesteadblogger was amazing.  The words of encouragement were astounding to me, and I cannot say how much this has meant to me.  I think I grasped it this morning when one of my precious blogging buddies, Deedeeuk sent me an e-card – I realized I DO have friends, just not ones I can put my arms around and HUG right now!  Thank you all so much for your kindnesses.  They blessed me beyond measure.  BUT I do want to say that the most astounding comfort came directly from the Lord.  Where to start…. Hmm…. I think I shall have to make somewhat of a list:

• Yesterday afternoon my friend Carol called just to chat.  She is one of those friends you can share anything with and never fear that she will put you down or judge you – and yet she will tell you the truth.  She is also very compassionate.  She had received a card I sent her to encourage her through a rough season in her life – and we discussed how I can see the Lord’s promises hold true for HER situation – but have difficulty applying them to my own.  By the time we got off the phone – I felt so much better. 
• Last night during family devotions (we use the One Year Book of Family Devotions and read one every single night before anyone is allowed to leave the table!)  I was reading, and the scripture text was Romans 8:26-31.  Verse 28 says this………And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.   (NKJV)  As I read this out loud to my family I started to cry.  Then we all started to laugh, because we knew that God had spoken – directly to my heart.
• After dinner, we went to church.  The adult Bible study text was ALSO from Romans 8!  The focus was on verses 12-14.  The emphasis of the teaching was that we “owe no debt to the flesh” – the life in the body is nothing compared to the spiritual aspects of our living for Christ.  The pastor talked passionately and confrontationally about sanctification.  How can we be caught up worrying about the flesh while people around us are dying and going to hell.   I felt about this small, and so very convicted that I’d lost a day of my life to live for Christ wallowing in self-pity.    Basically,  the Lord kicked my BUTT and then turned around to help me back on my feet!  (I love it when He does that!)
• When I woke up this morning, the SUN was shining!  It streams through the window beside me even now and I can feel God’s love in it.  It calls for rain again tomorrow – but I will enjoy the sunshine for today, and let tomorrow carry its own worries.
• My Bible study this morning was out of I Samuel – and focused on the uncommon  friendship of Jonathan and David.  Beth Moore’s notes highlighted some attributes of uncommon friendships:

1 – Uncommon friends can speak their minds without fear

2 – Uncommon friends can share their hearts without shame

                So I am reading all of these notes and starting to feel again – thinking about my friends back home.

                Sadness attempted to come in – until I got to the third note:

                                3 – Uncommon friends can stay close, even at a distance!!!!!!

I got chills when I read this!  My friends and I are friends, united in a bond of love with the Lord.    This verse is illustrated in the friendships that I do have whether near or far – “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken”   Eccl. 4:9-10, 12b    

I am so thankful that the Lord heard my prayer, and the prayers of any of you who were willing to pray for me.  Once again He dazzled me with His love.     

I haven’t blogged for a while.  I have been in somewhat of a funk.  I have been struggling with all sorts of things – mainly sheer isolation.  It has been a dreary, rainy winter.  I expected Texas to be warmer in the winter than I am used to, however, the dampness here penetrates all the way to the bone.  The sun has done little more than peek out over the last couple of weeks – and it has really been blah.    I still haven’t really made one friend – and while I know that is a process, I am feeling a bit impatient at the moment.  Eight months without “girlfriend” time is taking its toll on me. 

                Another issue is my blog.  I don’t know where to blog – and about what.  I have attempted to start a new blog elsewhere – because I think I have come to the conclusion that I would rather belong to the larger blogging community.  This has caused me to be disinterested in this blog in general.  I do have friends here – some great ones, and now that we’re using services like “Bloglines” it should be easy to stay in touch with one another, regardless of where we blog. 

                On the issue of being in a funk – it was  a topic of our Sunday School lesson this past week – but instead of the word “funk” I believe the pastor used “discouragement”.  He talked about how it was a tactic of the enemy to keep us down.  I know that is the truth.   Even while I know it,  the feeling has been washing over me every day.  I asked the pastor if he thought that wallowing in discouragement – having a pity party – feeling sorry for yourself – whatever you want to call it – was a sin.  He said he thought so and so do I.  So I am sorry for another bleak post on this blog.  If you happen here could you pray for me – I am struggling with this right now.  I know God has a purpose in this time of isolation – perhaps to remind me that He is all that I truly need. 

I have to post about this.  My daughter came to me with eyes overflowing with tears, and showed me this website this afternoon.  We just sat in shocked horror and disbelief.  Satan has attempted to capture the minds of the youth of a generation - and this is one of the most devious, and heart wrenching tactics yet.  Check it out if you dare - it is horrifying to think that there are people out there who spend the very breath God gave them to blaspheme His name, but worse to encourage others - the total videos posted thus far range around 150,000 - to do the same.  There was one personal "blasphemy" video where the credits rolled at the end thanking those who had contributed to his "enlightenment" - and the last name that slowly scrolled up the list was "my dad".  As a mother this makes my heart skip a beat.  Did this dad contribute to this young man's position by sharing his own atheistic viewpoint, or was it because he lived a life of hypocritical Christianity?  We are all hypocrites at times - and it is difficult for us to lead anyone in our fallen state to the only One who was perfect - but let's not cut ourselves too much slack here.  WHAT are our children seeing in our lives?  Religion or relationship?  Are we showing them even in our failings how Christ redeems us daily?  How can we as parents keep from turning our children away from our Lord?  I have an uncle that I love dearly who is the father of eight children - one in heaven since infancy - and six out of the other seven that want nothing to do with God or church - which to them is synonymous.  They saw organized religion as a system set up to hold them in restrictive confines.   My mind is reeling.  And what is blasphemy anyway?  Is it word or deed?  Maybe it is a combination of both.  
Pray, not only for this generation that the enemy would love to pervert, but also for each of us as parents, that our lives would draw our children TO Christ and not away from Him.

I am so excited.  One of my dearest friends is back online!   She hasn't been online since we moved away - but I got an email today saying she's back online - and now we can chat, email and send pictures.  I love it when God allows some blessing like this just when we feel like we're at the end of our ropes!  Just chatting with her and laughing and spending the time instant messaging with someone who I am so familiar with - it was just such a comfort! 
      

When we decided to take a break from "formal" homeschooling and try a more relaxed, bordering on unschooling approach with our children, one of the first things we did was to get rid of our television completely for a month.  This little experiment went so well that nobody even noticed when the original goal of a calendar month was over!  My children were playing games, making up stories, and finding all kinds of fun to get into, but not at first.  At first it was a lot of, "Mom, we're BORED!"  But what I saw slowly and gradually take place was that each member of our family started to find their own groove.   What I found was that the quiet, the calm of boredom forces a person to have a more grounded inner life.  When all the chaos of television, activities and even the voices of other people are swirling around, there is little opportunity to hear that inner voice, sifting thoughts and forming opinions, much less to hear the voice of the Spirit, the whisper only to be heard in silence.
Tonight I am feeling particularly lonely.  I am writing this as a truth as much to myself as to anyone who may find their way here to read it.  I miss my friends, and the constant activity of all the things that were familiar.  On Friday nights back in WV you never knew who may be at your house - maybe playing cards, maybe laughing with a house FULL of teenagers over large quantities of Doritos, or watching a movie with girlfriends while the kids jump on the trampoline in the late hours of the night!  These were precious times that I will always treasure, but this boredom and loneliness has a purpose.  I can hear the whisper.  I can feel the breath of God lean in and come near to dry my tears.  I know that there is a work in progress in me, and I will hold tightly to the one who already sees the finished product.

    YAY - we did it and I feel like I can breathe again!   When we moved to TX - we got cable internet in our apartment.  Travis and I reasoned that it wasn't a bad idea - as we were five people staying in a 2 BR apartment - confined living quarters in the heat of our first summer in TX.   The amount of television - albeit shows we deemed appropriate (few and far between - and even they sneak junk into the programs and catch you off guard!) - was sickening.  We kind of planned to discontinue it when we moved - but when I called to get our phone and internet - I found that DISH network was nicely bundled together in a package.  I didn't want the DISH - however, I did find out from a lady that lives in this area that it is the only way to get decent radio because DISH carries SIRIUS channels.  I caved!   However, upon installation, I found that the package that we enrolled for did not include the SIRIUS channels - (great customer service as I informed them that was the only reason I wanted it!).  Long story short, we went away in November for 3 weeks - right after it was installed, and I never got around to getting the thing disconnected.    It isn't the kids - guess who has been the total TV junkie - watching late night M*A*S*H marathons, CSI, etc.  ME!!!  Today I made the call and feel like a gigantic elephant has been lifted off of my shoulders.  I am so happy.  I feel almost giddy about it.  It is gone effective immediately because my billing cycle ends TODAY.  How great is God?  He sends the conviction - and makes everything happen to help you be able to obey!  Makes me think of a verse:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man.  And God is faithful.  He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out, so that you can stand up under it!                I Corinthians 10:13