Friday, August 18, 2006 - Is There Such a Thing As Too Many Arrows in Your Quiver, Blessings, Children?? - How About To God??
I was asked by Stacy to respond to this post. Little did she know that I already had this post open when I got her comment. I saw it on the HSB1 front page latest posts.
I hope she asked me knowing what kind of an answer she was going to get from me. ( ;
I have a question to all you folks with 3 or more kids. If you grew up in a family with 3 or more kids this is for you too.
I would like to have another child, adopt actually. At the moment my two are 5 and almost 2. People keep telling me that it is hard with three because one is always left out. I have no experience, so please tell me...is this the case? I think with any number above two kids one can always be left out. With four kids, three could still leave out one.
I'd really love your feedback...
Stacy
Three Kids- Good or Bad??
Here is my Re: to your question, Stacy.
I didn't want to hijack your blog, so I am posting here...
I am one of 3 children in my family, and, for those of you who don't know our family, we have 7 children, so far. Because of that, I can see the concern from a point, but not in whole. I know that when we were expecting our 2dd, I was all of a sudden bombarded with feelings that I couldn't possibly love this next baby like I did our 1dd. I can see migivings from that standpoint.
I do not understand, however, what is meant by "left out". Now, if you mean that one or more of the children can't always have Mom's or Dad's unswerving attention and getting full benefit of not having to divide living space or the birthday budget or something like that.... then, no, I do not think those are even reasons. I think they are fears. I also think that is a selfish way to train a child.
How could you possibly wish for something more than the love, dependability, comraderie and Godly blessing of as many siblings as God already has planned for your children?
See, I am a radical. I radically believe that God instructed things like: be fruitful and multiply, a full quiver, and children are blessings & gifts, etc. so that we would fulfill His Plan through us and our children on earth.
I believe He already has a plan for our lives. We are told that we can choose the good, better or best of God's plans for us. He does has a perfect plan, but, we, being imperfect, cannot possibly complete it perfectly. The truth and the answer to our making the perfect choice is the renewing of our minds.
I am not presuming to know every person's or family's circumstances, and I know that my views are highly regarded in some circles and totally disregarded in many. I have gone through a metamorphosis in this area, and have read and searched for answers, and the only thing I can say is that we need to quit listening to the din of fallible people and seek the infallible WORD.
The problems we Christians always walk into are that we live in a world tainted with "High-minded ideals" like 'birth control' (pills or vasectomy and tubal ligation) and 'abortion' to reason why we should thwart God's direction and plan for our lives. We believe the lies that "there are enough people in the world" or "one child is always left out".
It is the same as with homeschooling. We have been inundated and trained with what is real life. That specifically means the government telling us what to learn and when and how, as well as how many children is a "normal" family size, and the like.
I completely understand the thinking most human beings have, even if they know the Lord. Most of us were trained in a public school system. Most of us were left to our own devices to find ourselves or trained by ungodly men and women. It takes a huge step into unknown territories to become a person who reads and believes the WORD literally. It takes a lot of dependence on God to step into His shelter and away from the teachings and beliefs of a church, denomination or circle of friends -sometimes even family. But, it is not uncharted territory.
This territory where God is God and His Word is true is a place where many Christians are returning to today. It is not an easy path, but it is a straight and narrow path that leads to God.
I know this is more of an in-depth answer than what you asked for. I had to answer it in this manner, because it is deserving of a deep spiritual evaluation, not just a frivolous answer on my part. It is near and dear to my heart, and I have been through many trials because of these beliefs. God is faithful; He said what He said for reasons sometimes unknown to us. We must trust in Him and His ways, for they are higher than ours.
Thank you for counting me as someone whose opinion and experience you value in regards to this...
Jacque
Biblical Womanhood, Childbearing, Family, Bible,
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Post A Comment!
Friday, August 18, 2006 - Thank you! |
| Posted by Stacy |
Thank you for taking the time to give such a thoughtful answer. I highly respect you and your opinion.
It has only been in the last few months that I have begun to understand the things you are talking about here. The possiblities for our family are opening up for me as I begin to change my thinking.
Thanks again.
I appreciate it so much.
Stacy |
| Permanent Link |
Friday, August 18, 2006 - Untitled Comment |
| Posted by morningsunshine |
a copy of my comment over on the original site....
I grew up with 3 - me, my bro(-2 yrs) and my sis (-18mo) so we were fairly close in age. and yeah, someone was/ is always left out. it changed, and changes. In fact, as I am pregnant with #3, I told my husband we will NOT be stopping here, as I do not want 3 for that reason.
My husband grew up with 7, ages varying 13-15 years (I am not quite sure) but they are all very close, and when two are hanging out, there is more out there, and I see a lot of intermixing... 1w/2, 4w/6, 3w/7, etc. but there is variety there and not always one person being purposefully left out of hte loop, ya know?
So, I do not think it is an odd/even thing, I think it is a 3-thing. just my thoughts |
| Permanent Link |
Friday, August 25, 2006 - 3 |
| Posted by frugalmel |
What a wonderful response. I wish more people would read the scriptures and realize what they say about children. We (as a people) need to stop buying into the agenda that kids are burdens.
Its funny, I always told my dh that we should have our kids in even numbers. 2 or 4, but not 3. My dad was one of 3 and in his family as in others the middle one was always "different". They even created a name for it. "middle child syndrome". Well guess what? We have 3. I have learned that there is no such thing as "middle child syndrome". All kids are different. They all play together. Sometimes 1 and 2 will want to play the same thing, sometiems 2 and 3, sometimes 1 and 3.
When you get a group of children together, there will always be one or even a few that don't feel like doing what everyone else is. Maybe they don't have the same interests. As long as everyone gets love and attention from the parents, should it matter what number there are or even what order they were born in?
Just my thoughts. |
| Permanent Link |
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Friday, August 18, 2006 - Thank you! |
| Posted by Stacy |
Thank you for taking the time to give such a thoughtful answer. I highly respect you and your opinion.
It has only been in the last few months that I have begun to understand the things you are talking about here. The possiblities for our family are opening up for me as I begin to change my thinking.
Thanks again.
I appreciate it so much.
Stacy |
| Permanent Link |
Friday, August 18, 2006 - Untitled Comment |
| Posted by morningsunshine |
a copy of my comment over on the original site....
I grew up with 3 - me, my bro(-2 yrs) and my sis (-18mo) so we were fairly close in age. and yeah, someone was/ is always left out. it changed, and changes. In fact, as I am pregnant with #3, I told my husband we will NOT be stopping here, as I do not want 3 for that reason.
My husband grew up with 7, ages varying 13-15 years (I am not quite sure) but they are all very close, and when two are hanging out, there is more out there, and I see a lot of intermixing... 1w/2, 4w/6, 3w/7, etc. but there is variety there and not always one person being purposefully left out of hte loop, ya know?
So, I do not think it is an odd/even thing, I think it is a 3-thing. just my thoughts |
| Permanent Link |
Friday, August 25, 2006 - 3 |
| Posted by frugalmel |
What a wonderful response. I wish more people would read the scriptures and realize what they say about children. We (as a people) need to stop buying into the agenda that kids are burdens.
Its funny, I always told my dh that we should have our kids in even numbers. 2 or 4, but not 3. My dad was one of 3 and in his family as in others the middle one was always "different". They even created a name for it. "middle child syndrome". Well guess what? We have 3. I have learned that there is no such thing as "middle child syndrome". All kids are different. They all play together. Sometimes 1 and 2 will want to play the same thing, sometiems 2 and 3, sometimes 1 and 3.
When you get a group of children together, there will always be one or even a few that don't feel like doing what everyone else is. Maybe they don't have the same interests. As long as everyone gets love and attention from the parents, should it matter what number there are or even what order they were born in?
Just my thoughts. |
| Permanent Link |
|
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