Shared in Our Walk as Women
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Bad days are something we all experience at one time or another. The children are ill. Appointments eat up our workday, so we feel nothing was accomplished. We wake up sick. A crises arises. The children are particularly naughty. We have absolutely no energy or desire to do what needs doing. Maybe we're battling depression... You can surely find other reasons that your day tends to go poorly. So... how do we as Christian women cope with days such as these? Don't throw up your hands in defeat. Now is the time to force yourself to move forward. If you're dealing with a sickness in the family, you're going to have to accept the fact that housework will fall behind. Take care of the children and/or your husband. Rest and recuperate, yourself. Those who are well can surely further learn the selflessness of servanthood. Don't feel guilty for asking those who are well in the family, for a little extra help. Be cheerful, yet firm when you approach them with your need. If you're battling depressive feelings, or melancholy, the first thing you should do is guard your thoughts carefully. I know when I get like that, my mind begins to run wild. I find all sorts of reasons for why I should feel as I do! And pretty soon, I am thinking only of myself and how bad I have it. It makes things worse. And not just for myself, but for my family, who has to cope with me! Find work to do outside when you're feeling down. Or leave the work behind and do something fun with the children outdoors, for a while. The fresh air helps, as does the change of scenery. And force yourself to smile, even though it feels fake and maybe painful. You might find, as I sometimes have, that the smiles begin to come more naturally, and the whole atmosphere of your home will change to one of happiness! Rainy days, for some reason, can really "sap" a person of energy. There have been days when I woke up and just could not muster up the energy to do the tasks that were waiting for me. Oh, but that feels awful! I get so frustrated with myself! On days like this, you simply have to make things happen. You might just end up closing the day with a good feeling about all that you accomplished, after all! But it won't get done if you just sit in that chair! Forcing yourself to stay busy, even when you don't have the gumption to do so takes character. And you know what? -- Sometimes the activity causes you to feel more energetic and active! Appointments, often seem to "eat up" an entire workday. I had an appointment, this morning, and by the time we returned home, the morning was gone and it was nearly time for my husband to leave for work. School didn't get done, my morning chores were incomplete... I just had to accept that this was something necessary, it was an out-of-town appointment, and I know that tomorrow will be busier because of it. Housework is ever so kind. Never does it fail to wait patiently for us! Some women set aside certain weekdays for appointments, and leave their schedule open accordingly. Others just "catch up" the following day. Still others perform other errands on days that they're already out and about to see a doctor or suchlike. You simply need to take your own unique circumstances into consideration and learn what will work best for you, in the future, in regard to scheduling appointments and other commitments. When it seems the children are having an especially troublesome day, and are naughtier than ever, maybe a change of pace would help? Find an activity that is fun for all of you to do together. It might raise their spirits or make them feel more "connected". Children sometimes act out when they feel they're not getting enough attention. Maybe you could take a look at what is going on... Are you focusing too much on the housework, causing the children to "fend for themselves"? Maybe your attentions are elsewhere? Do they have too much play alone? Do they need a break from their schoolwork or chores? Could you include them more in what you're busy with to keep them constantly nearby? Anything that you can do to keep peace between them will relieve you. If they are right there where you can see and hear them, you can catch things before they escalate into misbehavior or rivalry. If you already have a "full plate" for today, and your husband gives you a list of his own for you to tackle, smile and agree! Then, when you're alone, pray if you must for strength and grace to not have sour thoughts. Your children always see your example, and bitterness is always waiting to spring up within us sinful beings! Your own list for today can be "trimmed down". Focus, first, on your husband's requests. If you have time, you can later try to tackle a few of the "musts" on your own list. Sometimes, if we approach our husbands with a compromise, this will help relieve matters, too. Ask him, "Do you mind if I do this tomorrow morning, or must it be completed today?", or "I'm feeling overwhelmed today. Which things, here, absolutely must be done before tomorrow?" But don't allow yourself to feel angry if he insists these things are needful. I think the hardest thing for us women is that our responsibilities are so varied. We do not have one job to focus on, but many. And some overlap. Most are never "done" and need re-doing throughout the day (such as dishes). We easily allow ourselves to feel overwhelmed. And when we don't get to something, or our children aren't behaving as they ought to, we feel as though we've failed. When we make a list for the day, we have to be realistic. That is hard! We feel we should be able to do more than we truly can do. This is wrong! You must be easier on yourself. You are not a failure. You're human. Delegate where possible, and relax your standards when you can. Allow yourself to nap if fatigue is a true issue. Create a cheerful atmosphere, and don't let negativity take control. It's like a bad weed! Before you know it, it will smother every good thought! And remember... Tomorrow will probably seem brighter in more ways than one. If you can just prayerfully ride out this difficult day, better things are yet to come! You'll look back and wonder why you were so upset and frustrated. Remember, too, that if we allow our flesh to react on the bad days... there will be regret to deal with, later, on the good days. God bless you as you live your life the best you can, according to God's plan! |
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