Oh, how beautiful the number "8" looks to me, on any given evening, when I see it shining from the face of the clock! -- The stress of the day, almost completely behind me! Just a short time more, and peace will reign!

Supper time is followed, in our home, by the little ones' bedtime. It is a busy, noisy time, here. The smaller children squealing in excitement, or cranky from the day's activities... the olders' shortness with the youngers, and dread over their evening chores...

"Bedtime!" I call (trying not to show utter relief and happiness). "Come up, let's get changed into bedclothes."

"It's bedtime?" asks Nadia, our three year old.

"Yes, it certainly is. Come, now. Let's climb the stairs." Stephen (1 1/2) is going altogether too slow. "Hurry, now. Up, up." I tell him, urging him onward.

The climb up the stairs seems like it takes an eternity...

"We have to pray and do our girl yet," says Oliver, four years. "Can we do hands? I want to do hands today."

"No! You got to choose yesterday. Let's do clothes." Six year old Scarlet turns her determination toward me. "Mom, can we do her clothes? Please, let's do clothes."

Every night, my stress peaks at this hour. It takes such energy to get everyone dressed in their nightgowns and pajamas, kneel together for prayer, and then go to our "girl poster", and choose a body part and connecting verse (see "Homeschooling Breakthrough" at left). The children are so silly and filled with noise. Trying to keep them "on track" is rough.

Soon, hugs are given, the Scripture tape is turned on softly, and the little girls are snuggled into bed.

Well, that is the plan, anyway...

Normally, Nadia is still wild with energy. She's climbing out of bed, moments after being covered under the blankets, shouting "Hug! More hugs, mom!", or giggling excitedly for no apparent reason.

"Shhh, Nadia. Settle down. You must be quiet." I tell her, wrapping her one last time in my arms. I switch off their bedroom light, and quietly close their door.

Two more children to go... Two more... Then I can focus on schooling the olders and tucking them...

I look down at little Stephen, who's holding my hand as we walk to the boys' room. "Are you ready to go night-night?" He shakes his head, as he looks up into my face and smiles. Oliver, 4 yrs, bounds ahead of us, turning on his bedroom light.

We pick up their room, quickly, and I tuck Oliver into his bed. Their Scripture tape is turned on quietly, and I shut the bedroom door and sink into the rocking chair with Stephen, who's gotten his blanket from the crib.

Oliver sits up and switches off the light.

At first, all I hear is the Scripture being read on the tape, the muted noise of Rose singing hymns as she clears the supper table, and the clank of dishes as Gaelin begins washing them.

I take my first real relaxed breath, and cuddle Stephen on my lap.

"Mom," Oliver pipes up in his usual, loud manner, "Is the storm on this side?"

"What?"

"The storm. Is Jesus going to calm the storm tonight on the tape?" Oliver asks.

"You'll have to listen carefully and tell me." I reply. "Now, shhhh, or you won't be able to hear it when it comes."

"Is God in here, mom?" I see Ollie's darkened form sit suddenly upright. "Where's God? Is he here with us, mom?"

"Yes, Ollie. He is always with us."

"Does He have arms, mom? Or a head?"

"What?"

"Mom, does he have arms and a head? What about legs? Does God have legs?"

"Oh, Oliver. God is everywhere all at once. He doesn't need those parts that we need."

"God doesn't have a body? Or bones?" He sounds mortified.

"Oliver, we'll talk more tomorrow. Right now it's bedtime. Let's relax and go to sleep."

Once the little ones are tucked into bed for the night, the noise level has been reduced dramatically. I can feel every fiber of my being beginning to unwind...

My focus then turns to the olders, ages 11, 14 and 16 yrs. Three more to go. Then I can really relax...

Once their chores are done for the night, we review our Scripture memorization, do some rote drills (mathematics) and correct the day's assignments. Then, I allow them to have a bedtime snack... which lasts ever so long.

"It's getting late, now," I hurry them. "Please head to bed."

But one child after another comes to me to tell me a funny story, something they read or heard today or ask a question. Then, they turn to me as doctor. Medical questions are brought to me... "Mom, what's this bump?"... "Is there anything I can do for my nose? Do we have any tea that would help me breathe?"... "My hands are so dry. I can't take this anymore. They're like dried out clay. What should I do? They're cracked and this little spot here bleeds."

I do my best to show interest and answer questions... to show I love them, and care... but my weariness is at its highest point, now. And all I can think about is how they must crawl into bed now. 

More than once I have wondered, "Am I rushing my children off to bed? Am I wasting their youth? Someday, they'll be grown up and gone, and I'll miss these moments. Why, oh why, do I get so stressed?"

It is difficult, as a mother, to balance everything and react as I ought. It is difficult to know how much time to allow, and when to call it stops. It is hard to put my self aside and enjoy the children's antics, questions, concerns and interest when my body feels like dropping.

Tonight, as we went through our usual routine... I determined to try my best to slow down my rushing, and enjoy the little ones more fully at bedtime. Stop focusing on me, and my stress, and focus, instead, on their young, wide-open hearts.

I determined to enjoy my older children who, if they were like others' their ages with mounds of worldly friends, might not even be at home right now with me. Maybe they'd be 'round town with their buddies, enjoying their fellowship instead. I decided playing "friend" and "doctor" to my olders wasn't such a bad thing. I will cherish their questions and sharings rather than rush them away.

Soon enough, my evenings will be altogether too peaceful. While my husband works, I'll wait for him, alone, in the silence of our house. I will hear the activity and excitement of my children only in the ears of my memory. And, I know, I'll miss it dearly.   

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Shared by maa

I know the feeling you are having. I ,once up on a time ago, would watch the clock and make sure all were in bed by eight.Oh my, it did stress me very much.
I no longer do that since my girls are teenagers.We lately have had a bad habit of staying up till midnight talking with each other.We laugh and share our hearts and minds with each other. It is a wonderful feeling to know that my girls want to visit with me as I am their best friend.

I do think little ones need to go to bed at a set time every night. They just seem to be better behaved and much happier.

I did enjoy this post very much. I felt like I was there with you trying to get every one settled into their beds.It sounds like you do have some very sweet children.
maa's mom

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Shared by Dawn

Your blog has quickly became a favorite of mine. It is full of so many wonderful thoughts and advice that seem to fit my own household. This was a wonderful reading and great support to us who are also anxious for bed time to arrive. My days start so early and end so late that a quiet house is a little bit of heaven come night fall. I must say I have been guilty of rushing bedtime even more these days since Dora's birth this past summer but all seems to be slowing some Praise God!! Dawn

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Shared by quiverfullacres

that was a touching thought. I can so relate to you. It is nice having the evening with just the olders though isn't it? It is the time when they really get me and dad all to theirselves. I used to dread it when they started staying up later than the littles, then I turned my thinking around. I now look forward to the nice times with them. I really listen to them at that point in the evening.

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Shared by shelley43022

I agree, I will have decades to myself after they are grown. I am not looking forward to that though, I can't imagine a moment without my children!

joyful homemaker

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Shared by deedee06

I can understand your thoughts so well. I have learned to enjoy the process of bedtime with Jonathan rather than rushing through it. Now that he is learning to read, I spend time listening to him and working with flash cards. Then he gets to choose three short books before bed, followed by Bible and prayers. It can be a somewhat lengthy process, but I really believe it is the most important time of day. Then when he is in bed, I get the enjoyment of snuggling in my bed with a book of my choice and a tired husband! Blessings from the Big Sky Country.........Denise (prairiemom)

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Shared by Deanna

Goodness...Nadia talking! My the time since our last real visit in person has been a LONG time :o( She was just a tiny thing last I saw here...about what, a week or so before the celiac sprue diagnosis?
:::sigh::::now she talks and walks and all that other toddler stuff.
Time flies so quickly, even if we don't see it while in the midst of it.

Deanna

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Shared by Patti

I know, I am commenting on an older post, but I just found your blog today. What a blessing!
As a woman who has struggled with secondary infertility for years, I have a unique perspective on this subject. I find myself growing frustrated with women of babies who are so upset about night-time feedings. All they want is for their little one to sleep through the night...at 2 months of age!! One mom I know wondered if she should feed him or just let him cry. My response is to savor those nighttime feedings. All too soon they will be over, and she will be able to sleep through the night. I would love to once more have the privilege and joy of night-time feedings again. Yes, I realize that mom does need her sleep, and that there must be balance in all things, but I think too many moms (myself included many years ago) are pushing their children to grow up too fast. They love their children, yes, but they don't love motherhood (and that is a subject I am going to blog about next week). They long for silence and peace, but they get frustrated with the other aspects of children.
Anyhow, your blog is a blessing, and I will be stopping by often.

Love in Christ,
Patti

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