I am always looking for helpful articles and books on "easing the stress" of mothering. I find it very challenging to be a godly wife, mother and keeper of the home.

So many things pull me in so very many different directions.

I recently came across, and re-read, some very good advice from some other, older, mothers. Titus 2 women, to be sure. Their comments and advice were published in an old issue of Family Life, an Amish publication we still subscribe to.

I strongly urge you to take the time to read these words of wisdom, even if you feel rushed. If you have trouble "keeping your calm" in the stress of the day, or if you also struggle as I do with prioritizing and making "time" for everything... their words could prove to encourage you in the Lord!

I'll be including one letter at a time, so "I'M STRESSED" will be in parts. We are all busy women, and I trust that you don't have much time to sit and read, any more than I do to sit quietly and type.

In addition, so much wisdom can be gleaned from just one letter, I feel it is best to sit and read slowly, and digest some of the reading before moving on.

God bless you, dear wife and mother!

1.

"Take it to heart that children are only young once. Despite your present struggles, the time will come when you can see that your years of having small children were short and precious indeed. Treasure this time. Take the opportunity to cuddle and love your children while they desire it.

      A toddler who is constantly crying is expressing an unmet need; probably a lack of loving attention. A few minutes of your undivided attention can last for hours. How many seconds does it take to give him a hug or a kiss, smile into his innocent blue eyes, stroke his cheek, or hold his chubby hand? How many minutes does it take to play pat-a-cake, or give a bouncing knee ride, or look at a picture book?

      Make a point of holding your toddler at least twice a day. It will take only a very small portion of your time. Let you little ones be near you as much as they seem to need it. Tell them stories, sing to them, or talk about your work as you do your duties. Get them to help clear the table, or hand you diapers. The few extra moments this takes will soon be rewarded. As you stop to listen to a youngster's story or examine his treasures, also keep in mind how much time you can spend drying tears and settling squabbles. Which would you rather do?

     A calm and happy mother is priceless. Find some way of releasing your frustrations and teach yourself to relax. Try to figure out what things upset you the most, then work to avoid those situations whenever you can. If you feel near the breaking point, STOP! Do something to relieve the situation, even if it is only a moment of silent prayer. Read the Bible, sing, recite poetry, cuddle your baby, take a brief walk, pick a bouquet of dandelions with your little ones, admire a gentle snowfall or a windswept hill, look at the stars.

     When your baby is hungry, lie down with her, or settle into the rocker with a cup of nutritious raspberry tea, and an upbuilding book or magazine or close your eyes for a brief rest. Don't perch on the edge of a chair as you feed your baby, eyeing all of the work that awaits you or you'll end up with a tense, unhappy baby and an overwrought mother.

     If you cannot otherwise cope with the stress, seek the help of an older experienced woman. Her advice and understanding will be invaluable. You owe it to your family to learn how to cope with the cares you face. If you don't, you will ruin your health, your married happiness, and the emotional well-being of your children.

     Don't set your expectations too high. You will have time for a shining house and well-kept flower beds after the diapers and night-time feedings are history (unless you choose to help other busy mothers then). Don't try to keep up with your neighbors. Neither make the mistake of thinking that other mothers all cope better than you do. The same mother who looks happy on Sunday with her arms full of children may at another time be scolding, snapping, or crying, too. We are all human and we all need more patience than we naturally have.

     The experience of one generation after the next has proven the value of early rising. If you are not in the habit of doing so, try to learn it. An early start gives you fresh energy, a feeling of being on top, and an eagerness to work. Compare it with getting up late, feeling behind all day and dragging along. Which way will you get the most accomplished?

     Try to get daily naps. I know from experience how hard this is, but especially if you have very restless nights, it is time well spent. On the days the little ones do all sleep at the same time, ignore your work and join them for a short rest. Don't delude yourself into thinking you have no time. The refreshment of a nap clears your mind and helps you work better afterwards.

     As much as possible, get to bed early. With some babies, you can't. But always make it your aim. If you work late into the night, it is no wonder that you are tired and tense. There are exceptions such as when you are canning, but usually it doesn't pay. Try to leave the kitchen in such a condition that it isn't depressing to step into the next morning, but don't keep on in the evening until everything is done. You can't.

     Learn to simplify housework. Leave the niceties for later. Now is the time for simple but hearty meals, little or no lawns and the most basic gardens. Treat company to simplicity and a happy family, instead of a fancy meal and a spotless house. Be content with fewer things. Don't be ashamed of faded dresses or discreetly mended pants for Sunday. Humble yourself to ask an older woman for help with your sewing and mending...

     Remember that raising a family is the most honorable and rewarding work a woman could wish to have. Don't fall for the modern trend of small-family planning. If natural child spacing works for you, be thankful for this and accept it as being from God. If it does not, don't make desperate or worldly attempts at family planning, or you will lose a wonderful blessing and be found guilty of trying to run ahead of God.

     Accept your large family with gladness and count it joy to be found worthy of such a wonderful responsibility. Trust that God will grant you daily strength for daily demands and duties. Be yielded to His will and then His blessings can follow.

     'Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is His reward. As arrows are in the hands of a mighty man, so are children of the youth. Happy is the man who hath his quiver full of them.' Psalm 127:3-5"

                                           -------Surrounded By Children

I will continue to add some of the most helpful letters from other mothers to this blog throughout the next several days. I pray they will be an inspiration and a help to you, as they were for me.

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Shared by Keeblur

Thank for for posting the letter. Although my children are 14, 13, and 11 and we are out of the baby and toddler years, there was still much to inspire me. I look forward to reading more!
Vicki

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