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Give Thanks

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them.
1 Timothy 2:1

Happy Thanksgiving

I have peace

My heart is heavy today. I am the mother of 4 children but to the world I am a mother of 3 children. My oldest child was due to be born 11 years ago today. I lost the baby at around 9 weeks but didn’t know it until my 12 week check-up.
I have peace about this but still there is an ache in my heart and today I am feeling a bit melancholy.
I haven’t been dwelling on it. I don’t mark the date on my calendar. I never plan to mourn but when I woke this morning I was reminded that today is the day.
I have been in prayer and I have taught my children their school today and gone about all the other things that must be done on the homestead just like any other day. I am not in turmoil- I would have to say my heart is quiet and sad. I am quiet and sad today.
I have an odd song running thru my head today.
I have a peace in my heart that the world never gave me and a peace it cannot take away, an everlasting peace and I know that it here to stay.
Yes, I have peace in my heart that can only come from Jesus. I also know that peace and love and joy do not come without hurt and pain and sadness. I can have peace and still feel sad- and that's okay.
I have spent many of the last 11 years quietly hurting because I was comparing my pain against others pain and I felt I had no right to still feel the pain of loss when there are others out there who have suffered so much more so than me.
And then I realized that God doesn't measure pain. Pain is pain. He doesn't have one of those smiley face charts like the hospital where you point to the smiley face that best depicts your pain level. Pain is pain. God doesn't want me to wallow in my pain but He also does not deny me the right/ability to feel it.
And I also realized that He mourns the loss with me and I am once again assured of His loving care and protection over me and mine.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4

The Lord gives me comfort today. Holding my son close gives me comfort today. Reading and snuggling with my daughters gives me comfort today. Knowing that all God's plans for my life are for my good gives me comfort today.

Ah, Lord thank you for today. Thank you for the sadness I feel because I know that someday I never need feel it again. Thank you for the sweet gift you gave me to hold inside for a little while and thank you for how you have used that baby to shape my life. Thank you for the reminder that all I have and all I am belongs to you. Thank you for the 3 miracles that are my living children. Hold them tight in the palm of your hand, Lord. Hold them tight. And, Lord, hold me today too, please. Hold me close. Amen

Tyranny of the Urgent

I believe that I have slipped lately- have once again begun relying on my own teetering self-control or ability to control rather than allowing God control in all things.

Yesterday for example could be titled “Tyranny of the Urgent”. From afternoon into evening (9:30 pm) I was engulfed in a whirlwind of activity trying to do much more than I should have . . . . . and you know what? No one else expected it of me- but me.

Due to circumstances beyond anyone’s control I was working overtime trying to fill in the gaps in our class schedule today for homeschool group. I worried and I scrounged and flitted and fussed. And mostly ruined mine and my family’s evening by swamping myself with the tyranny of urgency. And it was totally unnecessary. I wasn’t going to be kicked out of the homeschool group if I didn’t present a perfectly planned and executed class today. I wasn’t going to be flogged for it being short and slightly incomplete. No one thinks less of me and no one was mad at me. Duh. I didn’t think such things would actually happen to me but you would have thought I did from the way I carried on last evening. Sigh.
This morning was a different scenario entirely. Before I even put a foot on the floor I was in prayer. I asked the Lord that I could accomplish all He had planned for me today and to let go of all that I felt I needed to do.
Lord, be in charge of my life today. Be in charge of my schedule and Lord of my routine. And Lord, slow me down when need be! Amen.
Yes, I should have been praying this prayer all along but sometimes I am a slow learner. I know that the only reason I have things to control in my life is because God has blessed me with them and I need to be mindful of who is truly in charge of my days. And it ain't me!
Today I give thanks for God showing me how I let circumstances take control over me instead of coming right to the throne of grace in the first place. I am thankful that I worked myself into a tizzy because my heart was then ripe to cry out to my Savior this morning. Thank you Lord for giving me a knock on the noggin to get my attention. I needed it.

Can I REALLY give thanks in everything

The excerpt I shared in this post was from the book I have been reading each night- In This Mountain by Jan Karon. It is part of the Mitford series that I enjoy reading over and over again. Does anyone else wish to live in Mitford like me?

I had to put the book down and really think after I read the mentioned passage.

Is it easy to give thanks in EVERYTHING? God has opened up much to me in the last year or so about giving thanks in all circumstances. But I have found something odd- I can easily give thanks for the good things He brings into my life and I have learned to work at giving thanks for hard times and pain but it’s the stuff in the middle that has me slipping and failing. I often miss out on opportunities to learn to say thanks for the frustrations and pet peeve type situations in my life. Things like a backed up toilet, a sassy, smarmy eye-rolling and sighing 10 yr old daughter, forgetting to buy milk, people and things not working within my scheduled routine and so on and so on . . . . .
That’s where I am at- that’s what I am contemplating today. How can I learn to stop and tell the Lord thanks for these frustrations? I have found it easier to thank the Lord for the death of a beloved aunt than I can for a plugged up overflowing toilet. What????
I can see God’s reason and purpose in my aunt’s death but I gotta be honest and say I haven’t found it in that toilet!
In thanking God for everything- we are to thank Him for our afflictions also. When I first thought on this I thought of the big things- like learning to thank Him for death and disease, financial crises and bad neighbors. You know, the big things that don’t happen each and every day of our lives but are so big they supercede the mundane. I found I was looking/seeing too big. Our afflictions are also the day to day things that set our teeth on edge- like disobedient or defiant children, septic problems and burnt dinner. Running out of gas or slipping on the front step and landing in the bushes (yep, been there, done that!). It’s the stain that won’t come out of a favorite shirt or the hole in your daughter’s last pair of good jeans.
Simply put: It’s spilled milk.
Why do I allow these things to constantly frustrate me and hardly ever say “Hey, thanks Lord for the spilled milk!”
How different would my life be if I did this? How different would my day be? Would my attitude be?
Today I am purposing to stop a moment and give thanks for these daily frustrations.
Lord, help me to truly give thanks in everything- no matter how big or how small, no matter how wonderful or how horrible. Help me Lord when I slip and lose my thankful heart in the small matters. Bring me back and open my eyes to what it means to be truly thankful. Lord bless me this day in all things and please, make me a blessing to someone else today!
Amen.

In EVERYTHING

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 (King James Version)

“’Generally, Christians understand that giving thanks is good and right. Though we don’t do it often enough, it’s easy to have a grateful heart for food and shelter, love and hope, health and peace. But what about the hard stuff, the stuff that darkens your world and wounds you to the quick? Just what is this everything business?

“It’s the hook. It’s the key. Everything is the word on which this whole powerful command stands and has its being.

“Please don’t misunderstand; the word thanks is crucial. But a deeper spiritual truth, I believe, lies in giving thanks in . . . . everything.

“In loss of all kinds. In illness. In depression. In grief. In failure. And, of course, in health and peace, success and happiness. In everything.

“There’ll be times when you wonder how you can possibly thank Him for something that turns your life upside down; certainly there will be such times for me. Let us, then, at times like these, give thanks on faith alone . . . obedient, trusting, hoping, believing.’”

-- Spoken by Father Tim in the book In This Mountain by Jan Karon pp. 312